Your favorite type of post-er on HBT:

[m_c_zero]

Soak that in some strong star san solution overnight.

That or PBW

 

[EtchyLives]

The ones who are convinced that any wort contact with oxygen or an object not soaked in Star San for 10 minutes will inevitably result in new forms of life that make your beer taste like cardboard.

(e.g. "You cracked the lid on your bucket to look at the krausen? You had better purge that with CO2 and spray it down with sanitizer water... and make sure your sanitizer water was made with distilled water blessed by the Westy monks on a moonless night or else it probably won't work." -or- "OMG, you dry hopped that beer? Did you spray the hops down with sanitizer? YOU DIDN'T USE PELLETS *AND* PUT THE WHOLE HOP CONES IN A HOP BAG YOU DIDN'T SOAK IN PURE STAR SAN FOR 35 MINUTES?!?!?!?! Dump it now, dude. Just dump it. You're screwed.")

I get sanitization. I really do and practice it as best I can. I also avoid contact with oxygen. But reading threads on here I am led to believe that I should be making beer in a hermetically sealed room, wearing a bio suit with all exhaust products purged.

 

[hunter_le five]

The ones who are convinced that any wort contact with oxygen or an object not soaked in Star San for 10 minutes will inevitably result in new forms of life that make your beer taste like cardboard.

(e.g. "You cracked the lid on your bucket to look at the krausen? You had better purge that with CO2 and spray it down with sanitizer water... and make sure your sanitizer water was made with distilled water blessed by the Westy monks on a moonless night or else it probably won't work." -or- "OMG, you dry hopped that beer? Did you spray the hops down with sanitizer? YOU DIDN'T USE PELLETS *AND* PUT THE WHOLE HOP CONES IN A HOP BAG YOU DIDN'T SOAK IN PURE STAR SAN FOR 35 MINUTES?!?!?!?! Dump it now, dude. Just dump it. You're screwed.")

I get sanitization. I really do and practice it as best I can. I also avoid contact with oxygen. But reading threads on here I am led to believe that I should be making beer in a hermetically sealed room, wearing a bio suit with all exhaust products purged.

Don't forget to sanitize your yeast before pitching by microwaving the smack pack for a few minutes. Those things are positively riddled with microorganisms!

 

[fuzzy2133]

well usually........ they are nice enough to hold the period key for random amounts of time while their mind takes........a break from typing

I was just reading a thread where someone did this in a reply. I wanted to scream and jump through a window...

 

[EtchyLives]

Don't forget to sanitize your yeast before pitching by microwaving the smack pack for a few minutes. Those things are positively riddled with microorganisms!

Yes. And those new Pure Pitch packets by White Labs should be avoided at all cost because TWO LAYERS OF PLASTIC! How are you supposed to sanitize both plastic bags without exposing your yeast to all the bacteria floating around in the air?

 

[iijakii]

well usually........ they are nice enough to hold the period key for random amounts of time while their mind takes........a break from typing

Maybe it's just William Shatner.

 

[Firewalker11]

My favorite type of poster is the person that slams you for using an aluminum pot and a bag to make beer. Cites all sorts of "purist" nonsense about leaching toxic metals and the absolute necessity of a 3 tier system with a sparge.

Oh, and ponies, I like ponies.

 

[PlexVector]

well usually........ they are nice enough to hold the period key for random amounts of time while their mind takes........a break from typing

I was just reading a thread where someone did this in a reply. I wanted to scream and jump through a window...

An ellipsis key would probably help with that. I've always felt the backslash was a wasted key anyway--anything you do with the backslash could be done with the forward slash, So the backslash should be replaced by the ellipsis! But as in all things that could be abused too I guess:ellipsis:

 

[b-boy]

I was just reading a thread where someone did this in a reply. I wanted to scream and jump through a window...

That was probably me.

 

[m00ps]

I saw another favorite: the beginner recipe poster that crams in 11 specialty malts and feels the need to individually justify every ingredient

Porter
8.0lb 2 row (base malt)
0.5lb special B (caramel raisiny notes)
0.5lb brown (nutty toasted flavor, bit of roast)
0.5lb toasted 2 row (toasted flavor)
1.0lb chocolate (some coffee, chocolate, roast)
0.5lb crystal 40 (sweet caramel)
0.5lb crystal 80 (sweet toffee)
0.5lb victory (bit of toasty biscuit)
0.5lb carapils (head retention)

1oz magnum @60 (bittering)
1oz EKG @20 (earthy spice)
1oz citra @0 (tropical citrus, just because)

US-05 yeast (to ferment the beer im guessing...)

Its difficult to even read and comprehend all the descriptive words of what they are going for, how do you think your taste buds are gonna feel drinking that?

 

[Firewalker11]

I saw another favorite: the beginner recipe poster that crams in 11 specialty malts and feels the need to individually justify every ingredient

Porter
8.0lb 2 row (base malt)
0.5lb special B (caramel raisiny notes)
0.5lb brown (nutty toasted flavor, bit of roast)
0.5lb toasted 2 row (toasted flavor)
1.0lb chocolate (some coffee, chocolate, roast)
0.5lb crystal 40 (sweet caramel)
0.5lb crystal 80 (sweet toffee)
0.5lb victory (bit of toasty biscuit)
0.5lb carapils (head retention)

1oz magnum @60 (bittering)
1oz EKG @20 (earthy spice)
1oz citra @0 (tropical citrus, just because)

US-05 yeast (to ferment the beer im guessing...)

Its difficult to even read and comprehend all the descriptive words of what they are going for, how do you think your taste buds are gonna feel drinking that?

Funny thing is, I love those recipes. Why add such and such? Ahhhhhh!

 

[drainbamage]

Ah, "just because", my favorite rationale for selecting ingredients.

 

[iijakii]

Silly people, confusing grains with hops.

 

[fuzzy2133]

That was probably me.

Nope not you. I actually went back through this thread thinking it was one of you here having a little fun with the rest of us.

 

[passedpawn]

Soak that in some strong star san solution overnight.

That or PBW

In my experience, there is no chemical that will fix that glass. Not CLR, not muriatic acid, not anything.

 

[EtchyLives]

Silly people, confusing grains with hops.

Which leads me to my next favorite type of post-er...

 

[joshesmusica]

which leads me to my next favorite type of post-er...

...

...

?

 

[1977Brewer]

I mean......
View attachment ImageUploadedByHome Brew1447376868.194461.jpg

 

[banesong]

Don't forget to sanitize your yeast before pitching by microwaving the smack pack for a few minutes. Those things are positively riddled with microorganisms!

That got an out loud laugh.

The ones who just insist that you have to use a specific yeast... regardless of the style.

 

[PlexVector]

In my experience, there is no chemical that will fix that glass. Not CLR, not muriatic acid, not anything.

Yep, that puppy is etched.

 

[Homercidal]

In my experience, there is no chemical that will fix that glass. Not CLR, not muriatic acid, not anything.

Looks like plain old mineral build-up to me. Just like the In-Law's glasses. A soak overnight in any mineral removing acid has always done the trick for me.

Then again, new glasses are pretty cheap.

 

[unionrdr]

When certain folks start getting offended or snarky about the things you post, no matter what it might be. Mundane, less exciting, different than their experiences, etc. It makes me feel like clamming up about what I'm doing that seems wrong or not worth mentioning to them. Like I'm rubbing some folks the wrong way these days? Or the old, gray dudes don't fit in with the hip crowd anymore sorta thing? Sometimes, it just makes me wanna chuck the whole thing...

 

[flars]

When certain folks start getting offended or snarky about the things you post, no matter what it might be. Mundane, less exciting, different than their experiences, etc. It makes me feel like clamming up about what I'm doing that seems wrong or not worth mentioning to them. Like I'm rubbing some folks the wrong way these days? Or the old, gray dudes don't fit in with the hip crowd anymore sorta thing? Sometimes, it just makes me wanna chuck the whole thing...

Please don't give up. No matter what is in a serious post, there can be something to learn.

 

[TheCADJockey]

I like the people that tell me I'm their favorite type of post'er on HBT.

 

[m00ps]

I like posters that are capable of designing complicated catapult systems

 

[LandoLincoln]

"Hey, I'd like to build a semi-automated electric brewery in my basement, but I have no experience and I don't wish to really learn how to do any wiring and I'd like to spend no more than $200. Can someone give me full instructions on everything I need to buy and where I can buy it all the cheapest and how to put it all together or maybe you could just buy the parts for me and then deliver it to my house and then come inside and run some wiring for me? Again, I can only spend $200. Is this feasible or no?"

 

[m00ps]

"Hey, I'd like to build a semi-automated electric brewery in my basement, but I have no experience and I don't wish to really learn how to do any wiring and I'd like to spend no more than $200. Can someone give me full instructions on everything I need to buy and where I can buy it all the cheapest and how to put it all together or maybe you could just buy the parts for me and then deliver it to my house and then come inside and run some wiring for me? Again, I can only spend $200. Is this feasible or no?"

only if you open your fermentor lid twice a day to take pics and ask if its infected (yet)

 

[DrunkleJon]

"Hey, I'd like to build a semi-automated electric brewery in my basement, but I have no experience and I don't wish to really learn how to do any wiring and I'd like to spend no more than $200. Can someone give me full instructions on everything I need to buy and where I can buy it all the cheapest and how to put it all together or maybe you could just buy the parts for me and then deliver it to my house and then come inside and run some wiring for me? Again, I can only spend $200. Is this feasible or no?"

+1 "help me" with mine next

 

[LKABrewer]

What about the poster that proclaims "I do/don't do this all the time and I never have any problems with [diacetyl/oxidized flavors/other off flavors] - My beer is great". How do I know you even know what oxidized beer tastes like? Who is telling you that your beer is great? Every time I see this I want to ask 'How do you know your beer is great? Have you entered in a BJCP competition? What did it score?". As a BJCP judge, I have tasted plenty of beer that the brewer thought was great.

 

[TheCADJockey]

As a BJCP judge...

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