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Stupid Joke Thread!
- Thread starter Schlenkerla
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Help Support Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum:
agentbud
Well-Known Member
I have not read this whole forum thread so I apologize if this is a repeat: Husband and wife are sitting on the couch watching TV. Out of the blue the husband says "I love you". The wife turns and says, "Is that you talking or the beer". The husband responds "That's me talking.... to the beer".
My friend writes songs about sewing machines.
He is a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.
He is a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.
Riding home on the train a few years ago I see graffiti “Merry Christmas ******s” spray painted on an underpass. I tell my wife what I saw.
Well, since the, faithful, train ride, we’ve both said to each other, when exchanging Christmas presents, “Merry Christmas, Bitc*es”.
OK, “Merry Christmas, HBT, Bitc*es”.
Well, since the, faithful, train ride, we’ve both said to each other, when exchanging Christmas presents, “Merry Christmas, Bitc*es”.
OK, “Merry Christmas, HBT, Bitc*es”.
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What do home brewers say to each other today?
Hoppy Yeaster!
having kids is just like visiting Hawaii. Whether you want to or not they give you a sampler of the Pupu platter.
Too dirty?
Did you hear about the pool cleaner who went to jail for embezzlement?
He was skimming off the top.
Much cleaner joke, that one...
Too dirty?
Did you hear about the pool cleaner who went to jail for embezzlement?
He was skimming off the top.
Much cleaner joke, that one...
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Anybody know?
AkTom
Well-Known Member
What did the bra say to the hat???
You go on ahead,
I’ll hold these two up!
You go on ahead,
I’ll hold these two up!
I hate shower sex. It's slippery, awkward, and one of the worst things about prison.
If alcohol can damage your short term memory, imagine the damage alcohol can do.
I bought a book today, An Introduction To Surgical Procedures. I opened it and the appendix was missing.
should i be laughing at this, and is it a stupid joke or not?
Spring ahead of hackers with 45% off!
Spring ahead of hackers with 45% off!
"Context Matters"
LOL, i kinda interpreted it as they'd only steal 55% of my money.....but at least it'd be voluntary.....
Horse walks into a bar and sits down. Bartender says, “what’s with the long face?”
Horse says, “just born that way...”
Bear walks into a bar, sits down and says, “I’ll have a gin.......................and tonic”
Bartender says, “what’s with the big pause?”
Bear says, “just born that way...”
Horse says, “just born that way...”
Bear walks into a bar, sits down and says, “I’ll have a gin.......................and tonic”
Bartender says, “what’s with the big pause?”
Bear says, “just born that way...”
Three guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second two would have ducked.
Renaissance Festivals are back and improved with an actual plague for more authenticity.
The masks are cooler too.
https://www.thevintagenews.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/plague-lead-2.jpg
I want to be the guy that hauls around the cart yelling "Bring out your dead."
Too soon?
A priest, a nun and a rabbit walk into a bar. The priest asks the rabbit why he is there. Rabbit says, “just a typo”.
stickyfinger
Well-Known Member
this one can also be something like this
a priest, a nun and a rabbit walk in to give blood. The rabbit says i think i might be a type-o
a priest, a nun and a rabbit walk in to give blood. The rabbit says i think i might be a type-o
Ohh, I like yours better!
There are a crapton of related jokes...
Snark_Wolf_Brewing
Snark Wolf Brewing
I'm not dead yet!
Snark_Wolf_Brewing
Snark Wolf Brewing
Everyone gangsta 'til the Plague Doctor strolls up...
agentbud
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having kids is just like visiting Hawaii. Whether you want to or not they give you a sampler of the Pupu platter.
Too dirty?
Did you hear about the pool cleaner who went to jail for embezzlement?
He was skimming off the top.
Much cleaner joke, that one...
Wanna hear a dirty joke?
A man fell in a puddle.
.
Wanna hear a clean one?
He took a bath with bubbles.
.
Wanna hear another dirty joke?
Bubbles was the girl next door.
----------
Man, that joke killed back in 2nd grade...
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All the goods ones do.
The Outhouse
Once there was a little boy that lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer and cold in the winter, and stank all the time.
The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek.
One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. So he got a large stick and started pushing. Finally the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away.
That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper.
Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why.
The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it son?"
The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth."
The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in the cherry tree."
Once there was a little boy that lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer and cold in the winter, and stank all the time.
The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek.
One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. So he got a large stick and started pushing. Finally the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away.
That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper.
Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why.
The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it son?"
The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth."
The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in the cherry tree."
What's the difference between a piano, a fish, and a bucket of glue?
You can tune a piano, but you can't tune a fish.
You can tune a piano, but you can't tune a fish.
My neighbor had miniature ponies and as I drove by one day he was giving one cough syrup. I asked him why. He said........
He's a little horse
He's a little horse
Said REO Speedwagon.
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