Stupid Joke Thread!

[balrog]

 

[agentbud]

I have not read this whole forum thread so I apologize if this is a repeat: Husband and wife are sitting on the couch watching TV. Out of the blue the husband says "I love you". The wife turns and says, "Is that you talking or the beer". The husband responds "That's me talking.... to the beer".

 

[BongoYodeler]

My friend writes songs about sewing machines.
He is a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.

 

[Tobor_8thMan]

Riding home on the train a few years ago I see graffiti “Merry Christmas Bitch*s” spray painted on an underpass. I tell my wife what I saw.

Well, since the, faithful, train ride, we’ve both said to each other, when exchanging Christmas presents, “Merry Christmas, Bitc*es”.

OK, “Merry Christmas, HBT, Bitc*es”.

 

[balrog]

 

[bleme]

 

[GBRbrew]

What did one doe say to another doe?

Weirdo

 

[BrewZer]

What do home brewers say to each other today?

Spoiler

Hoppy Yeaster!

 

[bkboiler]

having kids is just like visiting Hawaii. Whether you want to or not they give you a sampler of the Pupu platter.

Too dirty?

Did you hear about the pool cleaner who went to jail for embezzlement?
He was skimming off the top.

Much cleaner joke, that one...

 

[soccerdad]

Anybody know?

 

[AkTom]

What did the bra say to the hat???

You go on ahead,
I’ll hold these two up!

 

[BongoYodeler]

I hate shower sex. It's slippery, awkward, and one of the worst things about prison.

 

[BongoYodeler]

If alcohol can damage your short term memory, imagine the damage alcohol can do.

 

[BongoYodeler]

I bought a book today, An Introduction To Surgical Procedures. I opened it and the appendix was missing.

 

[bracconiere]

should i be laughing at this, and is it a stupid joke or not?



Spring ahead of hackers with 45% off!

 

[day_trippr]

"Context Matters"

 

[bracconiere]

"Context Matters"

LOL, i kinda interpreted it as they'd only steal 55% of my money.....but at least it'd be voluntary.....

 

[Jhedrick83]

Horse walks into a bar and sits down. Bartender says, “what’s with the long face?”
Horse says, “just born that way...”

Bear walks into a bar, sits down and says, “I’ll have a gin.......................and tonic”
Bartender says, “what’s with the big pause?”
Bear says, “just born that way...”

 

[3 Dawg Night]

Three guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second two would have ducked.

 

[GBRbrew]

Two guys standing in a field, one says a train came through here recently, second guy says how can you tell? First guy say it left some tracks.

 

[BongoYodeler]

Renaissance Festivals are back and improved with an actual plague for more authenticity.

 

[Snuffy]

Renaissance Festivals are back and improved with an actual plague for more authenticity.

The masks are cooler too.
https://www.thevintagenews.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/plague-lead-2.jpg

 

[riceral]

Renaissance Festivals are back and improved with an actual plague for more authenticity.

I want to be the guy that hauls around the cart yelling "Bring out your dead."

Too soon?

 

[Jhedrick83]

A priest, a nun and a rabbit walk into a bar. The priest asks the rabbit why he is there. Rabbit says, “just a typo”.

 

[stickyfinger]

this one can also be something like this

a priest, a nun and a rabbit walk in to give blood. The rabbit says i think i might be a type-o

A priest, a nun and a rabbit walk into a bar. The priest asks the rabbit why he is there. Rabbit says, “just a typo”.

 

[Jhedrick83]

Ohh, I like yours better!

 

[day_trippr]

There are a crapton of related jokes...

 

[Snark_Wolf_Brewing]

I want to be the guy that hauls around the cart yelling "Bring out your dead."

Too soon?

I'm not dead yet!

 

[Snark_Wolf_Brewing]

Everyone gangsta 'til the Plague Doctor strolls up...

 

[agentbud]

I'm not dead yet!

I don't want to go on the cart!

Oh, don't be such a baby.