Stupid Joke Thread!

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MindenMan

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On the jobsite one day Mr. Jones gets killed, and the foreman has to decide who will tell this man's wife. After a few minutes he decides Big Leroy, the hardest working black man on the crew shall tell the wife about her loss. Big Leroy is known for his compassion and caring for his fellow workers. He walks up the steps of the house of the late Mr Jones and knocks on the door. A woman answers and Big Leroy asks, "Are you the widow Mrs Jones?" She replies, "That can't be me, my husband is still alive." Leroy looks at her and says, "Like [email protected] he is!"
 

jstringer1983

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A Man and woman lay in bed together. Man: "do you smoke after sex?"
Woman: i dont really know, ive never looked..."
 

JonM

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Before you go into the bathroom, you're American. When you come out of the bathroom, you're American. What are you when you're IN the bathroom?

You're-a-peein'!
 
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Schlenkerla

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Before you go into the bathroom, you're American. When you come out of the bathroom, you're American. What are you when you're IN the bathroom?

You're-a-peein'!

Hey! European on mah boot!
Hmmmm......Maybe Trump just had European whores on his hotel room bed.....

Russia is part of Europe right?
 
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Schlenkerla

Schlenkerla

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Hopefully ethnic jokes are ok. My family is Polish, so I'm ok with it...

Q: Did you hear about the Polak who thought his wife was trying to kill him?

A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Polish Remover".
 

JonM

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Milwaukee just hosted its huge annual Polish Fest last weekend. There was a Sunday Mass, bands, lots of traditional food, dance and art, that submarine with the screen door ...
 

JonM

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Still waiting for an opportunity to use the old Groucho line

*speaks into microphone*

"Can you hear me?"
"No"
"Well you're not missing anything."
 

MattyHBT

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What do you call a werewolf that is sleeping?

an unaware wolf he ha he ha he ha he ha

im made another funny
 
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Schlenkerla

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Milwaukee just hosted its huge annual Polish Fest last weekend. There was a Sunday Mass, bands, lots of traditional food, dance and art, that submarine with the screen door ...
What did you get to eat? I'd have gotten a Polish Sausage covered with kraut and later some prune or potato pierogies.

For you Non-Polskies - Pierogies are the Mexican version of empanadas or small version of the Italian calzones.
 

JonM

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What did you get to eat? I'd have gotten a Polish Sausage covered with kraut and later some prune or potato pierogies.

For you Non-Polskies - Pierogies are the Mexican version of empanadas or small version of the Italian calzones.
Unfortunately, didn't go this year. SWMBO is German and I am all Scandinavian. We love German Fest, but the closest Syttende Mai Fest is too damn far. However, I do know the best kielbasa maker in town - a genuine bona fide Pole who makes the finest Polish and Hungarian sausage ever ....

http://www.eurosausage.com/Pages/default.aspx
 
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Schlenkerla

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Unfortunately, didn't go this year. SWMBO is German and I am all Scandinavian. We love German Fest, but the closest Syttende Mai Fest is too damn far. However, I do know the best kielbasa maker in town - a genuine bona fide Pole who makes the finest Polish and Hungarian sausage ever ....

http://www.eurosausage.com/Pages/default.aspx
That's awesome, I love in-your-face garlic of traditional Polish Sausage!

Germans and Poles love their beer, sausage, kraut, beer, smoked pork, smoked beer, and ........kuchen.... after they are done drinking.

My mother used to bake Polish Sausage at 325F about for 30 - 45 minutes until you could smell it, then cover it with foil and bake it for the balance of ~60 minutes.



Just to get an idea of how serious we were about Polish Sausage, we used to have "it" for Thanksgiving, Xmas, and Easter.

Polish sausage in place of Turkey on thanksgiving. (Dad hated Turkey)

Polish Sausage and Roast Beast for Xmas. (My Irish wife says the Beast was too done for her...hence the beast (beef) comment.)

Polish Sausage and Ham for Easter.

So, Polish Sausage was for special occasions like Thanksgiving, Xmas and Easter. That wasn't special enough throw in;. Advent, Palm Sunday, New Year's, and Sunday!

My Birthday for one.... LOL

It's like that Greek Family Wedding thing....

At least I do like Polish Sausage, Keilbasa, Kabanos, and Knockwurst!

Why not just throw in Poppyseed Bundt Cake too. That was my birthday cake for 45 years...

 
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