Stupid Joke Thread!

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Tobor_8thMan

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Go 97 miles and take a right...
Santa "D*ck in a Box"
Santa Dick in a Box.jpg


"Hey, girl
I've got somethin' real important to give you
So just sit down, and listen

Girl, you know we've been together, such a long, long time
(Such a long time)
And now I'm ready, to lay it on the line
Well, you know it's Christmas and my heart is open wide
(Open wide)
Gonna give you something so you know what's on my mind
(What's on my mind)
A gift real special, so take off the top
Take a look inside
It's my dick in a box
(It's in a box)

Not gonna get you a diamond ring
That sort of gift don't mean anything
Not gonna get you a fancy car
Girl, you gotta know you're my shining star
Not gonna get you a house in the hills
A girl like you needs somethin' real
Wanna get you somethin' from the heart
(Somethin' special girl)

It's my dick in a box!
My dick in a box, babe
It's my dick in a box
Ooh, my dick in a box, girl
See I'm wise enough to know when a gift needs givin' (Yeah)
And I got just the one
Somethin' to show ya that you are second to none

To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress
It's easy to do just follow these steps
One
Cut a hole in a box
Two
Put your junk in that box
Three
Make her open the box
And that's the way you do it

It's my dick in a box
My dick in a box, babe
It's my dick in a box
Ooh, my dick in a box, girl

Christmas
Dick in a box
Hanukkah
Dick in a box
Kwanzaa
A dick in a box
Every single holiday
A dick in a box
Over at your parent's house
A dick in a box
Midday at the grocery store
A dick in a box
Backstage at the CMA's
A dick in a box
Yeah, well, well, well, well, well...
My dick in a box
My dick in a box
My dick in a box"

Songwriters: Jorma Taccone, Akiva Schaffer, Katreese Barnes, Justin R Timberlake, Andrew D Samberg
For non-commercial use only.
Data From: Musixmatch
 

agentbud

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I have not read this whole forum thread so I apologize if this is a repeat: Husband and wife are sitting on the couch watching TV. Out of the blue the husband says "I love you". The wife turns and says, "Is that you talking or the beer". The husband responds "That's me talking.... to the beer".
 

Tobor_8thMan

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Riding home on the train a few years ago I see graffiti “Merry Christmas Bitch*s” spray painted on an underpass. I tell my wife what I saw.

Well, since the, faithful, train ride, we’ve both said to each other, when exchanging Christmas presents, “Merry Christmas, Bitc*es”.

OK, “Merry Christmas, HBT, Bitc*es”.
 

bkboiler

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having kids is just like visiting Hawaii. Whether you want to or not they give you a sampler of the Pupu platter.

Too dirty?

Did you hear about the pool cleaner who went to jail for embezzlement?
He was skimming off the top.

Much cleaner joke, that one... 😁
 

Jhedrick83

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Horse walks into a bar and sits down. Bartender says, “what’s with the long face?”
Horse says, “just born that way...”

Bear walks into a bar, sits down and says, “I’ll have a gin.......................and tonic”
Bartender says, “what’s with the big pause?”
Bear says, “just born that way...”
 

betarhoalphadelta

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having kids is just like visiting Hawaii. Whether you want to or not they give you a sampler of the Pupu platter.

Too dirty?

Did you hear about the pool cleaner who went to jail for embezzlement?
He was skimming off the top.

Much cleaner joke, that one... 😁
Wanna hear a dirty joke?

A man fell in a puddle.

.

Wanna hear a clean one?

He took a bath with bubbles.

.

Wanna hear another dirty joke?

Bubbles was the girl next door.

----------

Man, that joke killed back in 2nd grade...
 

BongoYodeler

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The Outhouse

Once there was a little boy that lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer and cold in the winter, and stank all the time.

The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek.

One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. So he got a large stick and started pushing. Finally the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away.

That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper.

Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why.

The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it son?"

The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth."


The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in the cherry tree."
 

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