How do I be a bad neighbor, without actually being a bad neighbor??

[ehall]

my god that down right evil..and only $20!

A friend of mine did this to his sister anonymously, green glitter. she opened it in her car, years later you can still find glitter in there...

 

[mongoose33]

You might find this an interesting video if you like the glitter package:



It's a guy who figured out how to get back at porch pirates.

 

[VVbrewery]

Going to battle with a neighbor never works out well for either party. Unfortunately I inherited a feud with one after moving into my house. Come to find out the seller and neighbor had been at each other’s throat since the house was built. Anyway, I’d just take some beer over with you and work it out. Even if you only agree on one thing, you’ll still be better off then at war.

Just make sure the beer is organic, you composted the grains and used pure water from your own spring in the backyard.

 

[S-Met]

You guys know the EM radiation from your 'lectric tools travels all the way through walls unless they're tinfoil lined like my hat?

Faraday underwear. Apparently a real thing too.

 

[dwhite60]

Go to COSTCO or wherever and get a BIG container of cayenne pepper. That area out where Fido likes to take a dump, sprinkle it down with that cayenne. A nose full of that and he'll not be back. May never see the little thing again, ever.

You can always tell the neighbors you were trying a new organic weed killer.

Also, tossing a pair of panties into the guys car could be entertaining. Something made with natural hemp fibers. His woman may not fall for something lacy from Victoria's Secret. He's probably not that kind of guy.

 

[S-Met]

what kind of car do they drive? If possible, accidentally pour a bottle of fish sauce where it will drain and cook onto the engine block. They'll smell stinky fish for months. Especially if it aerosolizes through the air intakes.

 

[S-Met]

If you happen to have his contact info...

Post a Craigslist add for free 50lb bags of dogfood or other random free crap.

Sign him up for hairclub for men, weighwatchers or any other infomercial crap.

 

[Pkrd]

Bacon wrapped jalapeños.

 

[Brewenstein]

Any update?

 

[MMP126]

Not to be mean OP, but it seems like you need to be more direct with them. "Saying whatever" and "Letting it roll off you back" doesnt work with some people.

I would walk over there one evening, and just talk to them. See what they say. Air your grievances. Explain your point of view. Hear their point of view. And be direct about it. I err on the side of telling more than asking. Maybe some good can come of it.

If not, f'em. Do you. What are they going to do?

 

[dwhite60]

Not to be mean OP, but it seems like you need to be more direct with them. "Saying whatever" and "Letting it roll off you back" doesnt work with some people.

I would walk over there one evening, and just talk to them. See what they say. Air your grievances. Explain your point of view. Hear their point of view. And be direct about it. I err on the side of telling more than asking. Maybe some good can come of it.

If not, f'em. Do you. What are they going to do?

MMP126 is right.

Some people have never been neighbors. Might be a teaching moment. Both of you may learn something, good or bad.

Also, if they are getting under your skin most likely they'll get under your fellow neighbors skin too eventually.

 

[yeastseeker]

is there any way to find out what kind of TV he has, then get a universal remote and continuously change the channel or turn it off.

 

[yeastseeker]

pretty harmless, but would be enormously annoying

 

[dawn_kiebawls]

Any update?

No update as of yet. I'm waiting to catch him in the act. Even though he's already admitted to it I don't want him to try and deny his way out of it. For the time being I'm just shoveling the dog piles right into his yard, tossing them close and closer to their front door each time.

As much fun as it would be to f**k with him and be a bad neighbor right back to him, I'm just going to spell it out real clearly for him and draw pictures in crayons if need be.

 

[dawn_kiebawls]

Well here it is, fellow citizens of homebrew town. I'm dredging up this post with a heavy heart to share the anticlimactic ending to what thankfully did not escalate to the Hatfield and McCoy realm. My hippy neighbors' dog has died. As much as I hated feeling disrespected and having dog doo splattered on me, stuck to my shoe and smashed into my mowers tires I do not wish the loss of a loved one on anyone. In my 32 years I've lost two of my very best friends. One stood tall on two legs and the other always loyally by my side and eager to work, on four. They're both deeply missed and thought of every day.

The hipsters are distraught and I do feel bad, even though, in a very selfish way my 'problem' has been solved. Homebrew will be shared, bread will be broken, fences mended, axes buried and I will feel guilty about this post. If and when they get a new dog I will be more prepared to address the issue before it becomes one. But, in the meantime I will continue to focus on being a good friend and neighbor and be glad I didn't act out of anger.

 

[Pkrd]

Well that sucks dawn kiebawls.

 

[madscientist451]

They'll be getting new dog soon.....

 

[jseyfert3]

As amusing as it was reading this thread, glad you didn't get into a neighbor war. We almost did, only things were partially reversed. We had just moved in, put up a fence for an above ground pool. The day we rented an auger was the day we met FOUR neighbors, at least one of which was invited to our housewarming party but didn't come. All said I "could not" put up a fence, one threatened to call her lawyer. I did my homework though, got a permit, and of the THREE different reasons I heard for why I could not, only one had any shred of truth. The most amusing reason I was told I could not build was that the city, the same city that issued me a fence permit, would not let me build as our area was a "natural area" and fences weren't allowed because they'd "restrict the deer"... I contacted a lawyer who confirmed my homework on our ability to build a fence. I never heard back from any of the other neighbors. And yes, all of them just said I couldn't have a fence, nobody listed any concerns such as looks or property values, they all just said we could not build one. Anyway, I'm glad nothing else came of that, and hopefully your neighbors are better in the future.

Ironically I also use an electric mower, but I don't mow to the roots and don't use it for "no emissions". I use it because it's delightfully quiet, vibration free, and one less small engine to maintain. But the technology isn't there for a lawn care business yet.

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

As amusing as it was reading this thread, glad you didn't get into a neighbor war. We almost did, only things were partially reversed. We had just moved in, put up a fence for an above ground pool. The day we rented an auger was the day we met FOUR neighbors, at least one of which was invited to our housewarming party but didn't come. All said I "could not" put up a fence, one threatened to call her lawyer. I did my homework though, got a permit, and of the THREE different reasons I heard for why I could not, only one had any shred of truth. The most amusing reason I was told I could not build was that the city, the same city that issued me a fence permit, would not let me build as our area was a "natural area" and fences weren't allowed because they'd "restrict the deer"... I contacted a lawyer who confirmed my homework on our ability to build a fence. I never heard back from any of the other neighbors. And yes, all of them just said I couldn't have a fence, nobody listed any concerns such as looks or property values, they all just said we could not build one. Anyway, I'm glad nothing else came of that, and hopefully your neighbors are better in the future.

Ironically I also use an electric mower, but I don't mow to the roots and don't use it for "no emissions". I use it because it's delightfully quiet, vibration free, and one less small engine to maintain. But the technology isn't there for a lawn care business yet.

Wow, where I live it is a safety requirement to have a fence when one has a pool (in ground or above). We have whitetails and they clear 4 and 6 foot fencing easily. It’s nice when jerky neighbors don’t talk to us.

 

[Chain]

Оmg, ahahha, your story like in some comedy film. I believe that you should try to fund a compromise with them

 

[Garfield43]

You watch they will "rescue" (buy at a shelter) some giant, angry dog they can't handle.

If I read this right he came on your property and threw your log in the ally becase he didn't like it on your fence.
Without making a threat (that is illegal) he needs to know in no uncertain terms he is to never do that again.
Just the level of entitlement in "he came on your property and threw your log in the ally becase he didn't like it on your fence" is insane.
Anyone with that little self awareness is dangerous.

 

[Chain]

This is an interesting and tricky question to which it is not easy for me to give an accurate answer. You got me thinking. Perhaps if you let your dog go about his business on the lawn of your neighbors, you will be a bad neighbor, but you should have a great relationship with the neighbors. Hmm... Or if I set up my ajax surveillance cameras so that they cover other people's houses and the windows of my neighbors. Then I probably wouldn't be considered a very good neighbor either. That would be an invasion of privacy, wouldn't it?

 

[NoCornOrRice]

Bagpipes.

 

[day_trippr]

Or a rooster. Pretty much the same thing

 

[Steveruch]

if I set up my ajax surveillance cameras so that they cover other people's houses and the windows of my neighbors. Then I probably wouldn't be considered a very good neighbor either. That would be an invasion of privacy, wouldn't it?

Until it helps identify the burglar that stole the fancy urn holding grandma's ashes.

 

[davidabcd]

Going to crack this expired egg. I'm bored, the title was interesting but I did read the whole thing. I felt empathy for the OP as I have a couple non-optimum neighbors.
By the by, hope the situation was resolved for the OP.

What stood out for (568444999999999999999999999999--Hogarth, my cat, giving his two cents) me was the neighbor that moved in had no business moving into a neighborhood so utterly incompatible with his own personal views. That was just stupid on his and/or her part. Plus that guy seemed pretty self-righteous.

 

[govner1]

(TL;DR)

Hey all, I pride myself on being a good homeowner, a good neighbor and a good friend to those around me. My lawn and landscaping is manicured (I own a lawncare business, so, it kinda has to be), we're welcoming to our neighbors, never loud and always (in fact, too often) willing to lend a helping hand. This is all fine and well, but the new hipster couple that just moved in next door are really trying my patience and getting on my last nerve!

It started almost literally as soon as they moved in. As I mentioned before, I own a lawncare business in town so I made the same offer to them I do all of my new neighbors: to mow their lawn once, for free, while they're getting settled in, or pick back up on the contract I lost when the house sold. They stared daggers through me and said that they 'don't want emissions in their yard', as if we don't share an atmosphere and they don't have two cars parked in the driveway leaking oil. Fine, whatever. I maintain close to 100 lawns a week and about 95% of my block. I'm busy, just trying to be nice!

My backyard is fenced in and in the corner next to their corner I have a nice firewood rack and I rested a small pecan log on my fence (across the corner) to keep it off the ground so it can dry since it didn't fit on my rack. I noticed when I was fertilizing and spraying that the log was gone, and Mr. Hipster sitting in his back yard across the fence from me. It turns out that he didn't like it sitting on MY fence so he threw it into the alley. He then also criticizes the fact that I'm spraying chemicals, applying non organic fertilizers (of course the hipsters are organic) and that my mowers are too loud. Whatever, man. My lawn(s) are pristine, my customers are happy and I hate to break it to ya, but, I've done all my chemical schedules to your lawn for 3 years now so your lawn ain't organic either. But why not say something to me about my log, or at the very least throw it in my yard, not the alley?? I let the log issue roll off my back and gave him the usual 'these chemicals are safe, I'll be done in a minute'.

I was out spraying a couple Wasp nests around my house because I'm terrified of them, they harass my dog and my wife is allergic. They gotta go! Of course Hipster 1 and 2 start berating me again because of chemicals, but also that everything has a place on earth and that they pollinate. Now I'm getting a little thin on patience, so I maintain eye contact with them and continue to spray without saying a word. It's my property and I have very justifiable reasons for killing those winged bastards.

A couple weeks later I'm out trimming and edging my lawn when my weed whacker finds a pile of dog s**t by my sidewalk and splatters it on my shins, my shirt and my FACE!! I angrily shut off the machine, go inside to wash up and change clothes. Come out, finish trimming and jump on my mower. As I'm mowing Mr. Hipster comes over to say 'sorry, man I got distracted' and 'I always forget to bring bags with me' (HIS HOUSE IS 15 STEPS AWAY) and explains his little Chihuahua will only s**t on concrete. I tell him I already chopped it up with my trimmer, he looks at the pieces on my sidewalk and says 'oh yeah, gross, I'm not going to pick that up it has flies all over it already' then picks up his dog and leaves before I can say anything.

At this point I'm about to boil over like an unwatched BK.

The next week, he finds out I used to be a licensed Arborist and he now wants me to trim my tree that hangs over his property line. As much as I hate him, I agree to it even though its HIS responsibility simply because I don't want someone to come hack up my tree. He thanks me and follows up with how I shouldn't use wood chips in my planter beds so close to his house so he doesn't get termites. The next day, he wants me to call one of my friends who still is in the tree business to come drop a load of chips for HIM. I need a beer...

Last week as I'm mowing, I notice about 8 piles of Chihuahua sized s**t in the grass by my sidewalk and since the little dog doesn't walk in grass I know that Hipster f**k is just kicking it into my grass for either me to chop up, step in or have smashed into my mower tires.


I'm about to lose my mind! So, I'm asking you (anyone who has made it this far), how can I get back at this a**hole neighbor of mine and be a 'bad neighbor' without being a bad neighbor. I'm beyond a resolution, now I'm seeking petty revenge! I'm one more pile of crap or backhanded comment about how I do business from jumping the fence and smashing him or chasing him down with a mower (I wouldn't ever actually take it that far)...

Put his house on the market. For Sale by Owner, etc. !!
Including his phone number if you have it!

 

[MaxStout]

Good fences make good neighbors. Build the tallest one allowed in your community and ignore the neighbors as much as you can. Hopefully, it ends there, or at least the hostilities are reduced.

However, if the hippie neighbors continue to antagonize you, or they escalate things, document it and pay an attorney to send them a nastygram--probably wouldn't cost much.

Something to the tune of:
"I am [ATTORNEY], retained as counsel for [NAMES, ADDRESS]. It has been brought to my attention that person(s) residing at [YOUR ADDRESS] have been observed engaging in the actions of [______], on or about the dates of [______]. These actions have been documented by my clients and said documents have been forwarded to me. I have attached copies of relevant documents of these actions collected so far. Please review these documents at your convenience and forward them to your legal counsel. It is my hope, and the hopes of my clients, that this situation will not continue, or escalate, to the point of my clients needing to pursue legal relief. Ideally, this situation can be resolved without further action. Nevertheless, we are prepared to move forward with legal action if the need requires us to do so. As [CLIENT NAMES] have now retained my firm as legal counsel, any and all communications from this point forward should be directed to me, through your legal counsel. If you have any further questions or concerns, please instruct your legal counsel to contact me."

Have it sent via certified mail with return receipt. Then they are on notice and you have proof of that.

I've written a few of these on behalf of friends/family members. Never heard from any of the neighbors' attorneys; nothing ever escalated.

 

[El Whedo]

I've never had a nightmare neighbor.

I've always lived in very small towns, or smaller villages.

Had a new lady move in down the street four years back, I think it was. I thought I was gonna have to flat out tell her to leave me the hell alone, but she ended up one of my favorite neighbors.

She is 2/3's crazy, but educated and smart. She has a wicked (dark) sense of humor, and once she caught on to the unwritten village rules most of us like her.

The biggest problem she had with me was cultural. I, like most everyone here, fish and hunt. She really let into me one Saturday afternoon when I was plucking the primary flight feathers from a turkey I bagged during the Spring hunt. She said I making a spectacle out in public ( I was in my garage with the door open In my fenced yard). She said it was violent and I was doing it to threaten her and the other neighbors.

I told her I was collecting the flight feathers to make quills to sell. A turkey quill is just about the best ever... way better than a steel nibbed dip-pen. She was a fountain pen nut, so I trimmed two quills to show her how, and sent her home with a third for her to trim at home. She was alot nicer after that. Even nicer yet once I introduced her to other folks in our village. She found out that about half of the village is as liberal as her, just a few local views added in like hunting and fishing are normal, and locals are real friendly if ya don't tell us what to do.

 

[Boilinginsc]

So glad I live out far enough I can’t see any neighbors