"Saying it in your outside voice" Tips for new members/venting and/or entertainment for regular HBTers

[bracconiere]

Y'all are gonna see a lot more posts from me now that I'm unemployed,

i thought you just got a new awesome job, like last month or something?

 

[TheBluePhantom]

There are very few absolutes....

I like to peruse the Beginners forum just as much as the next person, but too often I find myself yelling at the screen; here are a few gems:

1. NO SECONDARY NEEDED!!
2. THAT THREAD IS 11 YEARS OLD DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT THE DATE IS??? YER NOT GONNA GET A GOOD ANSWER!!
3. YEAST RAFTS!! THEY ARE EFFING YEAST RAFTS!!!
4. PUNCTUATION!! Too much or none!! Run-on sentences give me ulcers.
5. YOU ASKED A QUESTION AND GOT AN ANSWER, TELL US WHAT HAPPENED!!!!
6. YOU ASKED A QUESTION, GOT AN ANSWER (or several) AND STILL DID WHAT YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO DO!!!
7. YOUR HIBISCUS HONEY CHOCOLATE SPICED GOSE AGED IN A 17TH CENTURY FUNERAL URN is a very poor choice for your very first beer, TRY SOMETHING SIMPLE FIRST!!!

I will admit that if I see the poster is from a foreign (to me) country I feel bad for yelling.

This is in the general forum, and I always secondary my ciders. And my wines. But no, not the beers.

And not that it is relative, but i have found anything with hibiscus seems to turn out well. it seems tooo easy, I often wonder if there are extra nutrients in the hibiscus tht make for a clean fermentation.

 

[TheBluePhantom]

And now my brain is stuck wondering what chracteristics 17th century funeral urn would impart... Some days I really hate reading this stuff.... Is the urn wooden, or pewter (bad choice) or what?

 

[bracconiere]

And now my brain is stuck wondering what chracteristics 17th century funeral urn would impart... Some days I really hate reading this stuff.... Is the urn wooden, or pewter (bad choice) or what?

we also need to know who's ashes were in it!

and now i just thought a funny thought of using them in a green sand filter canister, like a hop thingy... think the feds would frown if i tried opening a goth bar?

 

[Broken Crow]

And now my brain is stuck wondering what chracteristics 17th century funeral urn would impart... Some days I really hate reading this stuff.... Is the urn wooden, or pewter (bad choice) or what?

Urns are only good for small batches so it should be cheap to do a test batch... once you've worked out the details you can move on to a 17th century chamber pot.

 

[seatazzz]

i thought you just got a new awesome job, like last month or something?

That was last year, Bracc. PKU. Unless the marshals are keeping calendars and stuff from you....

 

[bracconiere]

That was last year, Bracc. PKU. Unless the marshals are keeping calendars and stuff from you....

i just had to get updated,,, i still had you as 53 until (last week?) apparently two years went by before i noticed...

 

[marc1]

That was last year, Bracc. PKU. Unless the marshals are keeping calendars and stuff from you....

Phenylketonuria?

 

[seatazzz]

Phenylketonuria?

Please Keep Up. I had to ask myself a few years back. These kids and their 'hip' lingo!!!

 

[balrog]

YOUR HIBISCUS HONEY CHOCOLATE SPICED GOSE AGED IN A 17TH CENTURY FUNERAL URN is a very poor choice for your very first beer, TRY SOMETHING SIMPLE FIRST!!!

Please.
Everyone knows Hibiscus is so passe in a gose. All us hipsters have moved on to drywall.

But on a less smarta$$ery note, I for one, have many times wished that an OP had come back to report.

 

[bracconiere]

I for one, have many times wished that an OP had come back to report.

me too, especially revived zombie topics! (but i've been an offender myself i think....)

 

[seatazzz]

Too many times when I'm bored and looking for threads to impart my vast (HA! HAHAHAHAHA!! VAST???) knowledge, I see a post that I immediately think YES, I know the answer to that question!! Then finally see the date was 10+ years ago. And I'm sad because I can't bloviate or pontificate. Yes, I know that noobs (and some not-so-noobs) will post on a necrothread trying to revive the question. JUST START A NEW (modern as in 2020s) THREAD. You'll get more responses!

On a related note, I wonder how many OPs of those necrothreads just gave up without checking for responses to their questions/problems/issues. And that makes me sad as well. Wonder if there is a programmer/coder/somebody more versed in IT than me can set a reminder that will prompt the OP to check their original thread for responses? Oh. Yes. It's called EMAIL. I'll shuddap now.

 

[bracconiere]

I'll shuddap now.

damn spelling errors, am i right?

edit: and.... a weird phenomena i brought up a while back....


https://www.homebrewtalk.com/threads/missing-words-in-your-posts-lol.681202/

 

[balrog]

And I'm sad because I can't bloviate or pontificate.

Hm, sadly I don't seem to have that particular social filter. My bloviationalisticness circumvents all manner of logical, eccumenical, spiritual, social and cerebral norms, and manages to spooge forth with little effort.

 

[balrog]

I wonder how many OPs of those necrothreads just gave up without checking for responses to their questions/problems/issues.

On another note, along these same lines, perhaps the definition of "noob" means someone who doesn't live on this forum, checking weekly daily hourly too often for answers.

<he says, hitting F5 to refresh>

 

[TheBluePhantom]

Or the similar post of a problem: "I am currently boiling and I need to know if this has to be added now or in 5 minutes!!!! Why isn't anyone answering?" They check back in 3 minutes and decide that this was useless. Hey, this is a forum, not a helpline. At least check back to see what went wrong for next time....

 

[seatazzz]

Hm, sadly I don't seem to have that particular social filter. My bloviationalisticness circumvents all manner of logical, eccumenical, spiritual, social and cerebral norms, and manages to spooge forth with little effort.

Looks like somebody got their Christmas Thesaurus a few days early.....

 

[corkybstewart]

Wonder if there is a programmer/coder/somebody more versed in IT than me can set a reminder that will prompt the OP to check their original thread for responses? Oh. Yes. It's called EMAIL. I'll shuddap now.

I minimize the amount of emails I receive every chance I get. Even since I retired, shut down my LinkedIn account, cut ties with coworkers and clients, I still get roughly 100 emails a day, not including the stuff that goes into the spam folder. I'll look for responses on my schedule which is usually early morning or late evening. I don't need my phone dinging every 10 minutes because BillyBobBrewer learned how to use a hydrometer.

 

[Broken Crow]

borked?

 

[Broken Crow]

borked?
YAY!! It worked!! The site's been borked for the last 3 hours or so... Sunday since 12:13 PM... Prime time for new brewers to sign up and post pics asking if their brew is infected. I'm wondering if someone should post a general announcement:
"No that's not an infection... it's normal krausen...yeast rafts...the float ball for your diptube... I'd be concerned about that dead mouse..."
... ok..still can't edit a post.. lets try typing and posting before signing in and waiting for the login button after I hit the 'post reply' button...

 

[BrewZer]

Make sure "keep me logged in" is unchecked, or you might have trouble logging out to log back in with a reply.

 

[Broken Crow]

If I posted a thread titled: "O2 permeability", could that possibly divert the O2 fanatics from derailing threads on other subjects?
I do the best I can to eliminate it from my process but if I could afford the 100's or 1000's of dollars some spend on measuring devices, seemingly just to pose derailing arguments and proselytize on threads about simple topics posted by folk with limited interest or limited cash and often just beginners suddenly being told the have to replace all their hoses and washers and gaskets they didn't even know are part of their modest gear...welll....
Just sayin'

 

[Broken Crow]

With Horror, I just realized what time of year it is again;

 

[seatazzz]

There is currently a thread on the BBBF asking if with a SG of 1.0000 will their brew still ferment. At first glance I honestly thought 'oh this has GOT to be a member messing with us) but no, it's not. Waiting eagerly to see if they post back.

 

[doug293cz]

There is currently a thread on the BBBF asking if with a SG of 1.0000 will their brew still ferment. At first glance I honestly thought 'oh this has GOT to be a member messing with us) but no, it's not. Waiting eagerly to see if they post back.

That would be a "no". There can be no fermentable dissolved material present in a water based solution with an SG of 1.0000. The exception would be if there was something in solution with an SG less than 1.0000 (ethanol?) to balance out the SG raising effect of fermentable sugars.

Brew on

 

[seatazzz]

That would be a "no". There can be no fermentable dissolved material present in a water based solution with an SG of 1.0000. The exception would be if there was something in solution with an SG less than 1.0000 (ethanol?) to balance out the SG raising effect of fermentable sugars.

Brew on

Doug, because I respect you enormously and don't want to get called out at the next club meeting, let me tell you that my first reaction on reading your reply was DUH. That's why I posted it here....however, on further posts in the thread it turned out the oP just needed to put on his glasses (as I have to do when reading the hydrometer, usually my 1.75+ readers). Back to our usual programming, nothing to see here folks.

 

[MaxStout]

There is currently a thread on the BBBF asking if with a SG of 1.0000 will their brew still ferment. At first glance I honestly thought 'oh this has GOT to be a member messing with us) but no, it's not. Waiting eagerly to see if they post back.

Being it's an online forum and with the laws of probability governing such, there has to be at least one person over there arguing that it is indeed possible for it to ferment.

"I'm telling you I did it myself--there were even bubbles coming out of the airlock! I drank some and caught a buzz! Study it out, sheeple!"

 

[Beekeeper]

"site glass" sent me here (to vent.)

 

[Broken Crow]

"site glass" sent me here.

Wow! I'm very pleased to see this thread still useful and have actually been thinking about it, but I'm puzzled as heck by this site's search engine....Do you need a site glass or replacement part, or like I've been, aggrivated with cleaning the damn things?

 

[OleBrewing]

I minimize the amount of emails I receive every chance I get. Even since I retired, shut down my LinkedIn account, cut ties with coworkers and clients, I still get roughly 100 emails a day, not including the stuff that goes into the spam folder. I'll look for responses on my schedule which is usually early morning or late evening. I don't need my phone dinging every 10 minutes because BillyBobBrewer learned how to use a hydrometer.

hell man been using the same email for over twenty years and still don't get that many emails spam or what not. either you have too many ex colleagues or just have a bad username.

or porn could be porn