"Saying it in your outside voice" Tips for new members/venting and/or entertainment for regular HBTers

CornyKegs 728
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Too many times when I'm bored and looking for threads to impart my vast (HA! HAHAHAHAHA!! VAST???) knowledge, I see a post that I immediately think YES, I know the answer to that question!! Then finally see the date was 10+ years ago. And I'm sad because I can't bloviate or pontificate. Yes, I know that noobs (and some not-so-noobs) will post on a necrothread trying to revive the question. JUST START A NEW (modern as in 2020s) THREAD. You'll get more responses!

On a related note, I wonder how many OPs of those necrothreads just gave up without checking for responses to their questions/problems/issues. And that makes me sad as well. Wonder if there is a programmer/coder/somebody more versed in IT than me can set a reminder that will prompt the OP to check their original thread for responses? Oh. Yes. It's called EMAIL. I'll shuddap now.
 
seatazzz said:
I wonder how many OPs of those necrothreads just gave up without checking for responses to their questions/problems/issues.
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On another note, along these same lines, perhaps the definition of "noob" means someone who doesn't live on this forum, checking weekly daily hourly too often for answers.

<he says, hitting F5 to refresh>
 
Or the similar post of a problem: "I am currently boiling and I need to know if this has to be added now or in 5 minutes!!!! Why isn't anyone answering?" They check back in 3 minutes and decide that this was useless. Hey, this is a forum, not a helpline. At least check back to see what went wrong for next time....
 
balrog said:
Hm, sadly I don't seem to have that particular social filter. My bloviationalisticness circumvents all manner of logical, eccumenical, spiritual, social and cerebral norms, and manages to spooge forth with little effort.
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Looks like somebody got their Christmas Thesaurus a few days early.....😁
 
seatazzz said:
Wonder if there is a programmer/coder/somebody more versed in IT than me can set a reminder that will prompt the OP to check their original thread for responses? Oh. Yes. It's called EMAIL. I'll shuddap now.
Click to expand...
I minimize the amount of emails I receive every chance I get. Even since I retired, shut down my LinkedIn account, cut ties with coworkers and clients, I still get roughly 100 emails a day, not including the stuff that goes into the spam folder. I'll look for responses on my schedule which is usually early morning or late evening. I don't need my phone dinging every 10 minutes because BillyBobBrewer learned how to use a hydrometer.
 
borked?
YAY!! It worked!! The site's been borked for the last 3 hours or so... Sunday since 12:13 PM... Prime time for new brewers to sign up and post pics asking if their brew is infected. I'm wondering if someone should post a general announcement:
"No that's not an infection... it's normal krausen...yeast rafts...the float ball for your diptube... I'd be concerned about that dead mouse..."
... ok..still can't edit a post.. lets try typing and posting before signing in and waiting for the login button after I hit the 'post reply' button...
 
Make sure "keep me logged in" is unchecked, or you might have trouble logging out to log back in with a reply.
 
If I posted a thread titled: "O2 permeability", could that possibly divert the O2 fanatics from derailing threads on other subjects?
I do the best I can to eliminate it from my process but if I could afford the 100's or 1000's of dollars some spend on measuring devices, seemingly just to pose derailing arguments and proselytize on threads about simple topics posted by folk with limited interest or limited cash and often just beginners suddenly being told the have to replace all their hoses and washers and gaskets they didn't even know are part of their modest gear...welll....
Just sayin'
 
With Horror, I just realized what time of year it is again;
PumpkinOil.jpg
 
There is currently a thread on the BBBF asking if with a SG of 1.0000 will their brew still ferment. At first glance I honestly thought 'oh this has GOT to be a member messing with us) but no, it's not. Waiting eagerly to see if they post back.
 
seatazzz said:
There is currently a thread on the BBBF asking if with a SG of 1.0000 will their brew still ferment. At first glance I honestly thought 'oh this has GOT to be a member messing with us) but no, it's not. Waiting eagerly to see if they post back.
Click to expand...
That would be a "no". There can be no fermentable dissolved material present in a water based solution with an SG of 1.0000. The exception would be if there was something in solution with an SG less than 1.0000 (ethanol?) to balance out the SG raising effect of fermentable sugars.

Brew on :mug:
 
doug293cz said:
That would be a "no". There can be no fermentable dissolved material present in a water based solution with an SG of 1.0000. The exception would be if there was something in solution with an SG less than 1.0000 (ethanol?) to balance out the SG raising effect of fermentable sugars.

Brew on :mug:
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Doug, because I respect you enormously and don't want to get called out at the next club meeting, let me tell you that my first reaction on reading your reply was DUH. That's why I posted it here....however, on further posts in the thread it turned out the oP just needed to put on his glasses (as I have to do when reading the hydrometer, usually my 1.75+ readers). Back to our usual programming, nothing to see here folks.
 
seatazzz said:
There is currently a thread on the BBBF asking if with a SG of 1.0000 will their brew still ferment. At first glance I honestly thought 'oh this has GOT to be a member messing with us) but no, it's not. Waiting eagerly to see if they post back.
Click to expand...

Being it's an online forum and with the laws of probability governing such, there has to be at least one person over there arguing that it is indeed possible for it to ferment.

"I'm telling you I did it myself--there were even bubbles coming out of the airlock! I drank some and caught a buzz! Study it out, sheeple!"
 
Beekeeper said:
"site glass" sent me here.
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Wow! I'm very pleased to see this thread still useful and have actually been thinking about it, but I'm puzzled as heck by this site's search engine....Do you need a site glass or replacement part, or like I've been, aggrivated with cleaning the damn things?
 
corkybstewart said:
I minimize the amount of emails I receive every chance I get. Even since I retired, shut down my LinkedIn account, cut ties with coworkers and clients, I still get roughly 100 emails a day, not including the stuff that goes into the spam folder. I'll look for responses on my schedule which is usually early morning or late evening. I don't need my phone dinging every 10 minutes because BillyBobBrewer learned how to use a hydrometer.
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hell man been using the same email for over twenty years and still don't get that many emails spam or what not. either you have too many ex colleagues or just have a bad username.

or porn could be porn :D
 
OleBrewing said:
hell man been using the same email for over twenty years and still don't get that many emails spam or what not. either you have too many ex colleagues or just have a bad username.

or porn could be porn :D
Click to expand...
I googled Stormy Daniels a few years ago, that load goes directly into spam.I work with 2 non profit groups, that's a bunch. I get a lot of "alerts" from magazines and newspapers I don't subscribe to, and even more from the ones I do subscribe to. Every once in a while I get a notification from this site that someone responded to one of my posts, but there's no rhyme or reason for which thread I get the notification for.
 
corkybstewart said:
I googled Stormy Daniels a few years ago, that load goes directly into spam.I work with 2 non profit groups, that's a bunch. I get a lot of "alerts" from magazines and newspapers I don't subscribe to, and even more from the ones I do subscribe to. Every once in a while I get a notification from this site that someone responded to one of my posts, but there's no rhyme or reason for which thread I get the notification for.
Click to expand...
And now of course, you'll get emails as the AI marketing bots venn diagram the intersection of Stormy and non-profit.

seatazzz said:
just needed to put on his glasses
Click to expand...
My hydrometers (yes, plural, put a pin in that) are magically hexed to turn the numbers exactly away from view, no matter the movement of my head, like dropping a cat on the floor.

Perhaps I shouldn't be dropping it on the floor and trying to read it on the way down...
 
balrog said:
My hydrometers (yes, plural, put a pin in that) are magically hexed to turn the numbers exactly away from view, no matter the movement of my head, like dropping a cat on the floor.
Click to expand...
Oh wow! You got the same brand as I did! Do yours attract all the extra bubbles, no matter how far away, too?
 
corkybstewart said:
I googled Stormy Daniels a few years ago, that load goes directly into spam.I work with 2 non profit groups, that's a bunch. I get a lot of "alerts" from magazines and newspapers I don't subscribe to, and even more from the ones I do subscribe to. Every once in a while I get a notification from this site that someone responded to one of my posts, but there's no rhyme or reason for which thread I get the notification for.
Click to expand...

The bots will have a field day with this.
 
Newly signed up OP: I’m making my first batch of beer after watching a youtube video and using [what they say] ALL professional brewers use. My [word I read but don’t understand] isn’t doing [other word I don’t understand, but also learned online and don’t want to sound like I don’t know what I’m talking about]. Please help!
Regular HBT’er: Can you post a picture so we can help you?
OP: It’s a whosit and I did a thingy into the whatsit. [no picture]
Another regular HBT’er: [clear, rational explanation of part of the brewing process] ..Can you post a picture?
OP: Warts? I’m trying to make Beer! I don’t have any warts are you saying I have an infection? Please help me understand why the thingy isn’t doing a thing!
Another regular HBT’er: It would be really helpful if you could give more details about the gear you’re using and what part is giving you difficulty. Can you post a picture?
OP: I made Beer according to the instructions in the video with professional brewing equipment I bought from amazon. I don’t think it’s working because it doesn’t look like it did on youtube. [Includes fuzzy picture that may possibly be a close-up of an ordinary ferment in a bucket with the lid off and has nothing to do with the question]
Patient regular HBT’er: The picture doesn’t tell us much but; [carefully explains some of the normal brewing process in everyday language] Can you post a picture of your specific problem?
OP: You said that but the instructions said this and it’s what I did. Please help! [no picture]
etc
etc
etc
etc
 
Hey @mac_1103 .. I raise my glass to you! I've been refraining from posting in that thread because I've been drinking and don't trust myself not to be so rude to that Dunning-Kruger as to get banned. That's twice in one day I've been compelled to post in this thread... The above post is frustration with one end of the spectrum as I've seen 4 times on here in the last few days or so, this one is the opposite end of that spectrum: The insidious 'has an education but coupled with narcissistic personality disorder'. Sometimes we get someone who signs up on here because everyone on their previous turf is just fed up...(I looked him up and read some :p ) Whether they are factually correct or not does not matter...Some are just obstinate social-buffoons that can make a point, possibly valid, but wheter or not it has any meaning to the context in which it was presented it just doesn't register in their brain and they have to keep pounding away until everyone 'bows to their Superior Intellect'.

:mug:
 
Broken Crow said:
Newly signed up OP: I’m making my first batch of beer after watching a youtube video and using [what they say] ALL professional brewers use. My [word I read but don’t understand] isn’t doing [other word I don’t understand, but also learned online and don’t want to sound like I don’t know what I’m talking about]. Please help!
Regular HBT’er: Can you post a picture so we can help you?
OP: It’s a whosit and I did a thingy into the whatsit. [no picture]
Another regular HBT’er: [clear, rational explanation of part of the brewing process] ..Can you post a picture?
OP: Warts? I’m trying to make Beer! I don’t have any warts are you saying I have an infection? Please help me understand why the thingy isn’t doing a thing!
Another regular HBT’er: It would be really helpful if you could give more details about the gear you’re using and what part is giving you difficulty. Can you post a picture?
OP: I made Beer according to the instructions in the video with professional brewing equipment I bought from amazon. I don’t think it’s working because it doesn’t look like it did on youtube. [Includes fuzzy picture that may possibly be a close-up of an ordinary ferment in a bucket with the lid off and has nothing to do with the question]
Patient regular HBT’er: The picture doesn’t tell us much but; [carefully explains some of the normal brewing process in everyday language] Can you post a picture of your specific problem?
OP: You said that but the instructions said this and it’s what I did. Please help! [no picture]
etc
etc
etc
etc
Click to expand...

Sometimes it devolves like this:

Newly signed up OP: "Hi all, I just brewed a ____, and ____ happened. I tried doing ____, but nothing worked. Can anyone help?"

20 or so HBT members jump in, and some ask: "Tell us more about your process, gear, ingredients," etc.

Newly signed up OP disappears.

A few more HBTers take a WAG at the problem.

Still, not a peep from newly signed up OP.

Nothing gets resolved, so the jokes fly. Hilarity ensues.

Then comes the snark and the memes.

Then members start waxing nostalgic about other fun threads like "Please Delete," interesting people from our past like @ismellweird, or start discussions of drywall beers.

Then Google indexes the thread. Now people from outside HBT can stumble in and be baffled.
 

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