This joke was a favorite of my dear departed grandfather.
New restauranteur hears that a restaurant critic from the New York Times is coming to critique his restaurant. He is so excited, and he has a friend on the inside who tells him what the critic looks like. The day the critic comes through the door, he is ready, and he prompts the front and the back of the house. "Everything must be perfect!" He tells everyone.
The critique is treated like a king by the front of the house, and great care is put into every dish that comes out to them.
On the way out, the proprietor, nervous, asks how the experience went. "Oh my, everything was lovely! But there were only two slices of bread..."
Well... thats easily fixed. Next time the critic comes back, the owner makes sure they have TWICE the amount of bread. At the end of the meal , "how was your experience?" "oh my, everything was perfect!... but still... not enough bread."
Well, boo. Next time, we'll put out twice again the amount. No! THREE times! And twelve slices of bread were in the basket when the critic showed up. Sure enough... not enough bread.
Now.. the owner is getting just a little miffed. "Ok... next time the critic comes back, lets bake a giant loaf of bread, cut it in half and put it on the table on a beautiful cutting board." Done.
Next time, critic comes in, has a gorgeous meal, and has the usual debrief with the owner. "Now, tell me, did you enjoy your experience?" "Well yes, it was wonderful... but what gives? You're back to two slices of bread!!"