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My microwave is an incessant nag, and I want to smash it.

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Take a grape, slice it in half and put it into the microwave...instant plasma. Very cool. Also, a cd for about a few seconds makes some groovy looking beer coasters.

If you place cats in a microwave, be sure to take a fork and poke some holes in them first.
 
Are people really so stupid as to not realize what the BEEP VOLUME button does?
Actually, Yes. It's a common malady these days to be a total idiot and have to be told that ingesting a tape dispenser isn't a good weekend activity.
The day after thanksgiving, I heated up a plate of turkey and stuffing before crashing on the couch. It was still good when I found it there 8 hours later :D
You must not have a sneakyninjadog like my dad does. I was eating a banana the other day, and then I suddenly wasn't.
 

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