Advice needed

[SandstoneCityBrew]

A few weeks ago I invited a girl that I met at work to the baseball home opener on April 4th. Just to be clear, I had no intentions of dating this girl, she's a bit to young for me.

I recently found out that she's a cheating whore. She is sleeping with her manager at work. He is engaged, and has two kids, one that is only about a month old. I do not have any respect for either of them at this point.

I want to find a way to tell her she is no longer invited to go with me. How would you guys go about this? Keep in mind, I do see her on a semi regular basis, and that's not going to change, unless she quits her job.

Any advice would be great. Thanks!

 

[govner1]

Man up & tell her you're out!

 

[Homercidal]

Wait, is she married or seeing someone? Seems like her manager, who is married with kids, is the cheater here.
Still, you can't have any respect for a woman who does that, or anyone, for that matter. Just come out and say it won't work out. "New **** has come to light, man!"

 

[JonM]

"Something suddenly came up."

 

[Aristotelian]

Sounds like the manager is the cheating whore. Does she have a boyfriend other than him? Who is she cheating on?

In any case, you can say "I heard what's going on with Mike. I know it's not my business but I am just not comfortable with it, and I am sorry but I can't be friends with you"

 

[JonM]

I like this. ^. Straight to the point.

 

[ifnotuthenwho]

In any case, you can say "I heard what's going on with Mike. I know it's not my business but I am just not comfortable with it, and I am sorry but I can't be friends with you"

I like this solution too, but you better be certain she's having that affair with her manager before you accuse her.

 

[JonM]

Good point.

 

[JoshuaW]

First, you might want to offer her the chance to explain, especially if she isnt in a relationship. "Hey, its none of my business, and feel free to not answer, but are the rumors about you and Mike true?" If she says yes, then acknowledge it is none of your business again, and that you are uncomfortable being friends with her. Dont say you dont have respect for her, or try to lecture her, just very blunt "Im uncomfortable with us hanging out, so Im going to have to cancel on Saturday". If she denies, then it gets tricky. As a decent person, you should be able to take people at their word. If you can stomach it, then keep the plans. If not, then just explain "I dont want to get caught up in the rumors either, but Im glad they arent true. Maybe its not a good idea for us to hang out this Saturday".

That should easily defuse the situation and get you back on your comfort level. I agree, I have no respect for people who cheat or knowingly participate in someone else's cheating, however you never know the situation, so you shouldnt judge too harshly. Maybe the manager has separated from his wife and it isnt public. Maybe they are in an open relationship. Its still okay to not be comfortable with those things, but you shouldnt assume that either of them are acting inappropriately without trying to gather the facts first.

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

They say honesty is the best policy, but saying to this girl what you really think won't fly in the work place. I agree with the others who said the guy who's engaged and has kids is a cheater... It takes two to tango. Even if she came on to him he decided to participate and is unfaithful.

Something came up, a family member came to visit and you want to take them instead. Don't sweat it. Take a real friend to the game, or sell your tickets and get some brew supplies!

 

[arturo7]

Steer clear of the drama.

Tell her one of your old high school buddies called to say he is coming to town that week and that you are giving him the ticket.

 

[tim_c7]

Tell her the truth.

 

[JonM]

Here's some info we could use: is she a die-hard Indians fan (I assume that's where you're going) or is she more interested in the party part of opening day?

If it's the former, eh, maybe it might not be so bad if she went. Maybe? If it's the latter, forget her.