Movie quotes: keep it going

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Jack Nicholson in "As Good As It Gets:"

Never, never, interrupt me, okay? Not if there's a fire, not even if you hear the sound of a thud from my home and one week later there's a smell coming from there that can only be a decaying human body and you have to hold a hanky to your face because the stench is so thick that you think you're going to faint. Even then, don't come knocking. Or, if it's election night, and you're excited and you wanna celebrate because some fudgepacker that you date has been elected the first queer president of the United States and he's going to have you down to Camp David, and you want someone to share the moment with. Even then, don't knock. Not on this door. Not for ANY reason. Do you get me, sweetheart?
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People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch.
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You're not the boss of me, Jack. You're not the king of Dirk. I'm the boss of me. I'm the king of me. I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big d*ck and I say when we roll. - Mark Wahlburg as Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights
 
"You look good tonight, Jack"
"I didn't ask" - The Joker & his Mol

"We were somewhere outside of Barstow when the drugs began to kick in..."
&
"Don't stop, this is bat country!!"
 
"About Schmidt"

Warren Schmidt: "Well Ndugu, I'll close now. You probably can't wait to run and cash this check and get yourself something to eat."
 
David: I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem may have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.
Ian: I really think you're just making much too big a thing out of it.
Derek: Making a big thing out of it would have been a good idea.

-

Derek: David and Nigel, they're like... fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water.

-

Marty: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
Nigel: [blank stare] These go to eleven.
 
"Its a trick get an ax."

"You used to find me beautiful"
"Honey you got real ugly"

"We can take these Deadites, we can take 'em... with science."
 
Maximillian Cohen: 9:22, Personal note: When I was a little kid my mother told me not to stare into the sun, so once when I was six, I did. At first the brightness was overwhelming, but I had seen that before. I kept looking, forcing myself not to blink, and then the brightness began to dissolve. My pupils shrunk to pinholes and everything came into focus and for a moment I understood.
 
Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven.
 
4050-Spinal_Tap_05Custom.jpg
 
"Come on ramblers; let's get ramblin'."
Seth Gecko (George Clooney) From Dusk Til Dawn
Also used in Reservoir Dogs but I forget who says it.
 
"Sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I wouldn't know. 'Cause I wouldn't eat the filthy mother ****er."
Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) Pulp Fiction
 
Probably only funny to ex- and current military types:

Star Wars (the original)

Storm trooper one: "What the h*** is all the noise about?"
ST2: "Probably another f***'n drill."

[Then the Death Star explodes]
 
Warriors...


Cyrus: [yelling] Can you count, suckers? I say, the future is ours... if you can count!
[a couple of soldiers cheer for Cyrus]
Cyrus: Now, look what we have here before us. We got the Saracens sitting next to the Jones Street Boys. We've got the Moonrunners right by the Van Cortlandt Rangers. Nobody is wasting nobody. That... is a miracle. And miracles is the way things ought to be.
[Few more soldiers cheering for Cyrus]
Cyrus: You're standing right now with nine delegates from 100 gangs. And there's over a hundred more. That's 20,000 hardcore members. Forty-thousand, counting affiliates, and twenty-thousand more, not organized, but ready to fight: 60,000 soldiers! Now, there ain't but 20,000 police in the whole town. Can you dig it?
Gang Members: Yeah.
Cyrus: Can you dig it?
Gang Members: Yeah!
Cyrus: Can you dig it?

.......

Waaaarrrrrriiiorsss, come out to pla-ay!
 
Fast Times at Ridgemont High:

"My brother's gonna. sh*t. He's gonna kill us!"
"well, what's he going to do, sh*t or kill us?
"First he's gonna sh*t, then he's gonna kill us."

Bonus points for whoever gets this quote without looking it up:

"I can't help it. Garbage gets me hot."
 
trinitone said:
But did the horse heads get you hot?
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Bonus points awarded. Sometimes Melbert pee red.

"Not his CHEESE, his KEYS!"

"Why do they always run? It must be the galoshes. Why do I even wear them? It's not even raining! Great, my luck. I picked a jogger."

"Hhmm...Chicken. Hmm. Broken."

For thos of you don't know, the movie is Student Bodies. One of the funniest movies ever made. It's the original horror movie parody, about 10 years prior to Scary Movie.
 
Cheesefood said:
Bonus points awarded. Sometimes Melbert pee red.

"Not his CHEESE, his KEYS!"

"Why do they always run? It must be the galoshes. Why do I even wear them? It's not even raining! Great, my luck. I picked a jogger."

"Hhmm...Chicken. Hmm. Broken."

For thos of you don't know, the movie is Student Bodies. One of the funniest movies ever made. It's the original horror movie parody, about 10 years prior to Scary Movie.
Click to expand...
Click.
Did you just hang up on me?
No, I just said "click".

Priceless.
 
trinitone said:
Click.
Did you just hang up on me?
No, I just said "click".

Priceless.
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How are you disguising your voice?
I'm talking through a rubber chicken.
I thought it sounded like a rubber chicken.

Speaking of great horror movie lines...

"Are you ready for Tony, the Wonder Llama?!" - Friday the 13th Pat 9 - Jason Goes to Hell.
 
Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey **** he is. Hallelujah. Holy ****. Where's the Tylenol?

I have the mp3 of it, and as far as Chevy Chase goes, it's the funniest. quote. evar.
 
Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
 
"Shut Up Shuttin' Up"

Please reply with who said this :)

For the life of me I cannot where/when this was said.
 
Doug McKenzie: Yeah. OK, well, uh, we found, uh, this mouse in a bottle of YOUR BEER, eh. Like, we was at a party and, uh, a friend of ours - a COP - had some, and HE PUKED. And he said, uh, come here and get free beer or, uh, he'll press charges.
 
g0dolphins said:
"Shut Up Shuttin' Up"

Please reply with who said this :)

For the life of me I cannot where/when this was said.
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I don't know about the movies, but the Bugsy Malone character said it to Bugs Bunny in one cartoon.
 
rdwj said:
Doug McKenzie: Yeah. OK, well, uh, we found, uh, this mouse in a bottle of YOUR BEER, eh. Like, we was at a party and, uh, a friend of ours - a COP - had some, and HE PUKED. And he said, uh, come here and get free beer or, uh, he'll press charges.
Click to expand...

You typed this perfectly, I could hear him saying it as I read it. :mug:
 
g0dolphins said:
"Shut Up Shuttin' Up"

Please reply with who said this :)

For the life of me I cannot where/when this was said.
Click to expand...

I get a lot of MST3K returns on searches. Too tired to search the dialogue. And what Hopfan said as well.


Ize
 
g0dolphins said:
So I got to thinking; what quotes do the homebrewtalk readers like?
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One of my all time favorites. . . .totally personifies my life experience.

"The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... very well, where do i begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it."--
Dr. Evil
 
Biermann said:
One of my all time favorites. . . .totally personifies my life experience.

"The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... very well, where do i begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it."--
Dr. Evil
Click to expand...


That's one of the best ever :rockin:

I should have named my daughter Vilma.
 
"Who took the jam outta your doughnut?"
"You took the ****ing jam outta my doughnut, Tommy. You did."


"Good dags. D'ya like dags? "
"Dags? "
"What? "
"Yeah, dags."
"Oh, dogs. Sure, I like dags. I like caravans more."
 
"Mother of mercy, is this the end of Rico?"
- Edward G. Robinson (Little Caesar)

Ugarte - "You despise me don't you Rick?"
Rick - "If I gave you any thought I probably would"
- Peter Lorre as Ugarte to Humphrey Bogart as Rick in Casablanca

"Serpentine Shel, Serpentine!"
- Peter Falk to Alan Arkin in The In-Laws
 

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