Jaybird's absence and cancer

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Jaybird

Jaybird

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Joined
Jul 16, 2006
Messages
7,681
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Location
Redding Ca
Ok. So I just want to reach out to the community that has always been so supportive and help me get my business and my dream rolling and successful. First off a HUGE THANK YOU! THANK YOU THANK YOU for the years of support. and a HUGE apology for my absence, here, the store and in the shop. I'll get right to it.
My lovely wife of 22 years, my soulmate was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer about a year ago. The level of the cancer was, at first glace and from the first Ct's MRI and biopsies was that this cancer was deep stage 4 in her colon, in her small bowels, in her liver and in her tissue and likely inoperable. What that meant to us and her doctors really, was she was going to die from cancer. Now, for any of you who know me on a personal level knows I wasn't going to accept that as the fate of my bestfriend. I wasn't going to loose my wife to cancer. SO... First we cried A LOT! Then we prayed A LOT! Then we decided as a team, her and I that we were NEVER going to worry about the things we don't know in regards to her cancer and only focus on the things that we know. We decided we were going to stay positive. Also for anyone that knows my SWMBO knows that was going to be hard for her. So. We got in touch with UC Davis cancer research center and we started to fight. We fought like hell and I will tell you, this has been the scariest rollercoaster ride we have ever been on. With levels of sorrow and pain I cant really even explain. My bride has been in and out of the hospitals, through chemo, chemo radiation, surgeries, AND a messed up surgery that landed her in ICU for 7 days fighting for her life. The entire time I NEVER gave up hope and my convictions that she was going to beat this.
The reason I am writing this to you, the Homebrewtalk community is to just let you know "WHY" I have been absent from here, from my shop and why I haven't been there as much as I used to be. I have received a lot of emails asking where I have gone and why I haven't been around. People have been concerned about my health and wellbeing and I LOVE that some of you have reached out. I would go MONTHS and MONTHS without logging in and checking my PM folder and I am super sorry. My team at the shop I think has done a great job in attending to everyone. My business has ran along just fine without me. I basically took the last year to be with my wife and make sure she knew she wasn't alone in this. EVERY Dr visit, EVERY scan, EVERY chemo treatment I was right there with her to be her strength and her staff of positivity. What I found out about my wife in the the last year is she is the strongest person I know. The pain and discomfort, the horrible, horrible feelings and sickness she has gone through is absolutely indescribable. and yet still be able to joke around, laugh and have fun with the nursing staff. I am going to fast forward to present day. My lovely bride is, against all odds KICKING CANCERS ASS! She is in the final weeks of Chemo/Radiation and all her scans right now are void of all cancer! YES!!
I cannot say I will be logging in and actively participating any time soon but please know I am still very much a part of this community. Please do not hesitate to send me an email if your not being attended to or just need something. I am back in the shop and pounding away with new products and filling orders like crazy. Thank you all for the continued support, all the orders and the shares online! They all help and have continued to help me get through this.

Cheers
Jay

[email protected]
 
Jaybird said:
Ok. So I just want to reach out to the community that has always been so supportive and help me get my business and my dream rolling and successful. First off a HUGE THANK YOU! THANK YOU THANK YOU for the years of support. and a HUGE apology for my absence, here, the store and in the shop. I'll get right to it.
My lovely wife of 22 years, my soulmate was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer about a year ago. The level of the cancer was, at first glace and from the first Ct's MRI and biopsies was that this cancer was deep stage 4 in her colon, in her small bowels, in her liver and in her tissue and likely inoperable. What that meant to us and her doctors really, was she was going to die from cancer. Now, for any of you who know me on a personal level knows I wasn't going to accept that as the fate of my bestfriend. I wasn't going to loose my wife to cancer. SO... First we cried A LOT! Then we prayed A LOT! Then we decided as a team, her and I that we were NEVER going to worry about the things we don't know in regards to her cancer and only focus on the things that we know. We decided we were going to stay positive. Also for anyone that knows my SWMBO knows that was going to be hard for her. So. We got in touch with UC Davis cancer research center and we started to fight. We fought like hell and I will tell you, this has been the scariest rollercoaster ride we have ever been on. With levels of sorrow and pain I cant really even explain. My bride has been in and out of the hospitals, through chemo, chemo radiation, surgeries, AND a messed up surgery that landed her in ICU for 7 days fighting for her life. The entire time I NEVER gave up hope and my convictions that she was going to beat this.
The reason I am writing this to you, the Homebrewtalk community is to just let you know "WHY" I have been absent from here, from my shop and why I haven't been there as much as I used to be. I have received a lot of emails asking where I have gone and why I haven't been around. People have been concerned about my health and wellbeing and I LOVE that some of you have reached out. I would go MONTHS and MONTHS without logging in and checking my PM folder and I am super sorry. My team at the shop I think has done a great job in attending to everyone. My business has ran along just fine without me. I basically took the last year to be with my wife and make sure she knew she wasn't alone in this. EVERY Dr visit, EVERY scan, EVERY chemo treatment I was right there with her to be her strength and her staff of positivity. What I found out about my wife in the the last year is she is the strongest person I know. The pain and discomfort, the horrible, horrible feelings and sickness she has gone through is absolutely indescribable. and yet still be able to joke around, laugh and have fun with the nursing staff. I am going to fast forward to present day. My lovely bride is, against all odds KICKING CANCERS ASS! She is in the final weeks of Chemo/Radiation and all her scans right now are void of all cancer! YES!!
I cannot say I will be logging in and actively participating any time soon but please know I am still very much a part of this community. Please do not hesitate to send me an email if your not being attended to or just need something. I am back in the shop and pounding away with new products and filling orders like crazy. Thank you all for the continued support, all the orders and the shares online! They all help and have continued to help me get through this.

Cheers
Jay

[email protected]
Click to expand...
God bless, and God speed.
 
I'll keep her and you in my thoughts. I have two dear friends fighting cancer right now and its a real mofo. Thankfully modern medicine and unbelievably strong amazing people are beating the odds more and more these days.

I wish her a speedy return to wellness. Life will never be "normal" again, but at least it's life and you're together. Thank you for all you've done for the community, we'll be here if you have time for us.
 
Always thinking of you jaybird as you're one of the good guys. Although only known online easy to see your wife is one smart and tough cookie. Thoughts and good vibes going out to your entire family. Keep up the good fight. There's a lot of people behind you and your wife.
 
My father fell victim to colon cancer back in the mid 90's. They put him through chemo and all that when they knew he wouldn't make it. Maybe it would have been different if it had happened now, but back then it sucked. He went after less than a year from being diagnosed.

So, I know how much it sucks to have that come up. It's great that your wife is winning/has won on that fight. Hopefully it will never show up again.
 
@Jaybird, I know exactly what you and your wife are going through. Six years ago, next month, my wife was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer. After 16 months of nonstop treatment (4 surgeries, 8 months of chemo, and 2 rounds of radiation) she is now going on 5 years cancer free. Hang in there, friend, and stay positive. Cancer’s ass can be kicked.

Cancer should get cancer and die.
 
Jaybird said:
Ok. So I just want to reach out to the community that has always been so supportive and help me get my business and my dream rolling and successful. First off a HUGE THANK YOU! THANK YOU THANK YOU for the years of support. and a HUGE apology for my absence, here, the store and in the shop. I'll get right to it.
My lovely wife of 22 years, my soulmate was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer about a year ago. The level of the cancer was, at first glace and from the first Ct's MRI and biopsies was that this cancer was deep stage 4 in her colon, in her small bowels, in her liver and in her tissue and likely inoperable. What that meant to us and her doctors really, was she was going to die from cancer. Now, for any of you who know me on a personal level knows I wasn't going to accept that as the fate of my bestfriend. I wasn't going to loose my wife to cancer. SO... First we cried A LOT! Then we prayed A LOT! Then we decided as a team, her and I that we were NEVER going to worry about the things we don't know in regards to her cancer and only focus on the things that we know. We decided we were going to stay positive. Also for anyone that knows my SWMBO knows that was going to be hard for her. So. We got in touch with UC Davis cancer research center and we started to fight. We fought like hell and I will tell you, this has been the scariest rollercoaster ride we have ever been on. With levels of sorrow and pain I cant really even explain. My bride has been in and out of the hospitals, through chemo, chemo radiation, surgeries, AND a messed up surgery that landed her in ICU for 7 days fighting for her life. The entire time I NEVER gave up hope and my convictions that she was going to beat this.
The reason I am writing this to you, the Homebrewtalk community is to just let you know "WHY" I have been absent from here, from my shop and why I haven't been there as much as I used to be. I have received a lot of emails asking where I have gone and why I haven't been around. People have been concerned about my health and wellbeing and I LOVE that some of you have reached out. I would go MONTHS and MONTHS without logging in and checking my PM folder and I am super sorry. My team at the shop I think has done a great job in attending to everyone. My business has ran along just fine without me. I basically took the last year to be with my wife and make sure she knew she wasn't alone in this. EVERY Dr visit, EVERY scan, EVERY chemo treatment I was right there with her to be her strength and her staff of positivity. What I found out about my wife in the the last year is she is the strongest person I know. The pain and discomfort, the horrible, horrible feelings and sickness she has gone through is absolutely indescribable. and yet still be able to joke around, laugh and have fun with the nursing staff. I am going to fast forward to present day. My lovely bride is, against all odds KICKING CANCERS ASS! She is in the final weeks of Chemo/Radiation and all her scans right now are void of all cancer! YES!!
I cannot say I will be logging in and actively participating any time soon but please know I am still very much a part of this community. Please do not hesitate to send me an email if your not being attended to or just need something. I am back in the shop and pounding away with new products and filling orders like crazy. Thank you all for the continued support, all the orders and the shares online! They all help and have continued to help me get through this.

Cheers
Jay

[email protected]
Click to expand...
Man, you actually made me tear up here. My neighbour passed away from stage 4 last month. She was 48 and left behind a husband and two young children aged 7 and 10. It went so quick with her. From diagnosis to last day, was around 3 months.

All the best and keep your foot on that fu@&er cancers throat.
 
Oh, wow- I'm so shocked. I missed you, but I know how life is and many of us move on to other interests. I had no idea!

Thank you for letting us know what's been happening, and for sharing this victory. I'll keep you both in my prayers, and please keep us updated as to what you'll be doing to celebrate and what the future looks like for both of you!
 
TheMadKing said:
I'll keep her and you in my thoughts. I have two dear friends fighting cancer right now and its a real mofo. Thankfully modern medicine and unbelievably strong amazing people are beating the odds more and more these days.

I wish her a speedy return to wellness. Life will never be "normal" again, but at least it's life and you're together. Thank you for all you've done for the community, we'll be here if you have time for us.
Click to expand...
I appreciate the kind words. I agree, life will never be the same. God willing we will grow from this and be better humans. My wife and I have always been pretty tight. I mean you don't get to 22 years together, happy and are still madly in love with each other without being pretty tight. Cancer, even at its worst has brought my SWMBO and I together in ways I can't explain and created an unbreakable bond. So on the bright side and all. :)
Cheers
Jay
 
TheDudeLebowski said:
Always thinking of you jaybird as you're one of the good guys. Although only known online easy to see your wife is one smart and tough cookie. Thoughts and good vibes going out to your entire family. Keep up the good fight. There's a lot of people behind you and your wife.
Click to expand...
I appreciate that my brother! We will continue to fight the good fight! I can't wait till I get to get back to Brewing, Smoking cigars and playing with my friends and hobbies. That day is coming for sure. As soon as my bride is back together again.
 
Golddiggie said:
My father fell victim to colon cancer back in the mid 90's. They put him through chemo and all that when they knew he wouldn't make it. Maybe it would have been different if it had happened now, but back then it sucked. He went after less than a year from being diagnosed.

So, I know how much it sucks to have that come up. It's great that your wife is winning/has won on that fight. Hopefully it will never show up again.
Click to expand...
Yeah man.. BLOWS! We will destroy this $#!T :)
Cheers
Jay
 
doug293cz said:
Sorry that your wife and you have had to go though this, and glad that things are going much better than they might have. Keep fighting, and loving each other. Your absence is excused. :)
Click to expand...
ha ha ha I needed the excused absence to be honest. So, Thank You! We will absolutely just keep fighting and loving each other.
 
NGD said:
@Jaybird This is the best thing I’ve read in the last week. I will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. Best wishes to you both.
Click to expand...
Thank you NGD! Were are gonna need all them prayers you can spare tossing our way! She still has a long road ahead of her, But its a fight she is winning!

Cheers
Jay
 
Cammanron said:
Man, you actually made me tear up here. My neighbour passed away from stage 4 last month. She was 48 and left behind a husband and two young children aged 7 and 10. It went so quick with her. From diagnosis to last day, was around 3 months.

All the best and keep your foot on that fu@&er cancers throat.
Click to expand...
I appreciate the emotion Cammanron My wife is 46 years old. Colon cancer is on the rise for sure! Its sucks and is very scary. It used to be an old mans disease. Now people are getting it in their 20's WTF! Were stomping hard!

Cheers
Jay
 
Yooper said:
Oh, wow- I'm so shocked. I missed you, but I know how life is and many of us move on to other interests. I had no idea!

Thank you for letting us know what's been happening, and for sharing this victory. I'll keep you both in my prayers, and please keep us updated as to what you'll be doing to celebrate and what the future looks like for both of you!
Click to expand...
Thank you Yoop! Yeah I hear ya. Michelle and I have kept this pretty quiet and to be honest since she was diagnosed time has stood still. This crushed us! I took a leave of absence from the shop and really from life to do nothing but care for her and to be there for her every step of the way. What am I going to do to celebrate??? WellI have given this a LOT of thought actually :) I will be trying to find and obtain a bottle of Deward's Double Double 32 year. I will be twisting the cork and throwing it way. This will be opened, shared and emptied with a very close group of friends that have been here for us the entire way. I haven't had a drink since 11 months before Michelle was diagnosed. I was taking a year of sobriety to focus on some personal growth. Then when we received this news I made the decision not to drink again until M and I can have a drink together. I have a while to go yet to gather the bottle to celebrate with but It's on the horizon! I'll keep you posted! Thank you!!

Cheers
Jay
 
passedpawn said:
Best wishes to you and your bride Jaybird. Every time I clean my mash tun, I see that CHEERS you etched on my false bottom there (at least 10 yrs ago) and smile. I wonder how many smiles you've produced with that.
Click to expand...
NICE!!! Right! Creating better brewing efficiency 1 smile at a time! Thank you my friend! I needed that comment today!

Cheers
Jay
 
I began reading and felt so sorry for another human being. Then I read "She is in the final weeks of Chemo/Radiation and all her scans right now are void of all cancer! YES!!".

YES indeed!

Cherish each and every day, even if it means we are doing something we'd prefer not to do. At least we're still here.

Recent doctor's visit and the doctor asks me "Are you depressed?" I am a computer software designer so I analyze everything. I think for a few minutes. I guess the doctor is asking due to my age. I reply, "Me? Depressed? Hell no. I'm not really happy about being here, but I'd much rather be here than the alternative."

Not trying to minimize what has already happened, but be positive. Believe it or not a positive attitude helps with many things in life. Find joy and satisfaction in the simple things in life. As I age I realize there are many, many simple things to enjoy. Also, it's helped me to realize it's best, at least for me, to be happy with what one has instead of being sad at what one don't have.

Cherish your wife and cherish both your time on Earth.

Also, I can somewhat relate to things as my Mother's husband died of cancer.

Godspeed fellow brewer. Do keep us posted.
 
Yea, for kicking cancer‘s ass! I’m sending good thoughts for your wife’s continued recovery and wellness. I commend you for staying by her side and giving her the support she needed. (Not every spouse will do that) Remember to take care of yourself too. It ain’t easy being a caregiver.
I hope you both get to do something special or go somewhere meaningful to celebrate this milestone and your wonderful relationship.
 
Jay, Thank you for sharing. An absolutely inspiring story that we can all aspire to in our lives. I have so much respect and admiration that you were willing to drop literally everything to focus on an incredibly difficult battle. Prayer works, I will pray for you. With incredible medical advances on a yearly basis, winning battle by battle is so important, because who knows what miracle cure might be around the corner. Glad to hear you took that positive and proactive approach.
 
Tobor_8thMan said:
I began reading and felt so sorry for another human being. Then I read "She is in the final weeks of Chemo/Radiation and all her scans right now are void of all cancer! YES!!".

YES indeed!

Cherish each and every day, even if it means we are doing something we'd prefer not to do. At least we're still here.

Recent doctor's visit and the doctor asks me "Are you depressed?" I am a computer software designer so I analyze everything. I think for a few minutes. I guess the doctor is asking due to my age. I reply, "Me? Depressed? Hell no. I'm not really happy about being here, but I'd much rather be here than the alternative."

Not trying to minimize what has already happened, but be positive. Believe it or not a positive attitude helps with many things in life. Find joy and satisfaction in the simple things in life. As I age I realize there are many, many simple things to enjoy. Also, it's helped me to realize it's best, at least for me, to be happy with what one has instead of being sad at what one don't have.

Cherish your wife and cherish both your time on Earth.

Also, I can somewhat relate to things as my Mother's husband died of cancer.

Godspeed fellow brewer. Do keep us posted.
Click to expand...
Thank you. I will absolutely keep you all posted moving forward.

Cheers
Jay
 
Hoppy2bmerry said:
Yea, for kicking cancer‘s ass! I’m sending good thoughts for your wife’s continued recovery and wellness. I commend you for staying by her side and giving her the support she needed. (Not every spouse will do that) Remember to take care of yourself too. It ain’t easy being a caregiver.
I hope you both get to do something special or go somewhere meaningful to celebrate this milestone and your wonderful relationship.
Click to expand...
I am really trying to also take care of myself. I appreciate you reminding me how important that is. I often find myself neglecting that..

Cheers
Jay
 
beernutz said:
What an uplifting post Jay, thanks for sharing it with us. I have lost many family and friends to cancer so it is awesome to hear of a victory.

Frack cancer.
Click to expand...
Fricka' Fracka' Fire Cracker! Sorry to hear of your loss. I am very grateful for this forum and really for the support you all have given me and this little company over the years.
'VICTORY WILL BE MINE" In my best Stewie voice :)
 
Cyclman said:
Jay, Thank you for sharing. An absolutely inspiring story that we can all aspire to in our lives. I have so much respect and admiration that you were willing to drop literally everything to focus on an incredibly difficult battle. Prayer works, I will pray for you. With incredible medical advances on a yearly basis, winning battle by battle is so important, because who knows what miracle cure might be around the corner. Glad to hear you took that positive and proactive approach.
Click to expand...
I really appreciate you saying this. It does mean a lot to me. It was a hard choice and of course my business and my personal relationships took a hit. I am trying to get my company back on track fully and really the only personal relationship I an concerned with is my lovely bride. I have said this many of times but she is as important to me as the air I breathe. I am very lucky to have her fighting every step!
Cheers
Jay
 
Thoughts and prayers!! I wish you both the very best!

My mom just got diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer as well. She had surgery to remove it in May, and is now dealing with chemo, and the awful side affects as we speak. You story is both terrifying and hopeful. Thanks for sharing <3
 

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