Movie quotes: keep it going

[rdwj]

I'm bored today....

40 Year Old Virgin:

David: You know how I know you're gay?
Cal: How? How do you know I'm gay?
David: Because you macramed yourself a pair of jean shorts.
Cal: You know how I know *you're* gay? You just told me you're not sleeping with women any more.
David: You know how I know that you're gay?
Cal: How? Cuz you're gay? and you can tell who other gay people are.
David: You know how I know you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: You like Coldplay.


David: You know how I know that you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: You like the movie "Maid in Manhattan".
Cal: You know how I know *you're* gay?
David: How?
Cal: I saw you make a spinach dip in a loaf of sour dough bread once.
David: You know how I know that you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: You have a rainbow bumpersticker on your car that says "I love it when *balls* are in my face".
Cal: That's *gay*?
David: [David loses second match] Goddamnit!
Cal: I'm ripping your head off right now. It's off, and *now* I'm throwing it at your body.
[shouts]
Cal: **** you!
David: Aww.
David: You know how I know you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: Your dick tastes like ****.

 

[trinitone]

Viddy well, little brother. Viddy well.

No time for the old in-out, love, I've just come to read the meter.

What you got back home, little sister, to play your fuzzy warbles on? I bet you got, say, pitiful, portable picnic players. Come with uncle and hear all proper! Hear angels' trumpets and devils' trombones. You are invited!

- Malcolm McDowell in A Clockwork Orange

Edit: I too am quite bored at work today.

 

[Toilet Rocker]

"Do sit down, Sergeant. Shocks are so much better absorbed with the knees bent." Lord Summerisle, The Wicker Man

One of the most underrated movies ever.

Sergeant Howie: Religious? With ruined churches, no ministers, no priests... and children dancing naked!
Lord Summerisle: They do love their divinity lessons.
Sergeant Howie: But they are... a-are naked!
Lord Summerisle: Well, naturally. It's much too dangerous to jump through fire with their clothes on.

 

[Toilet Rocker]

Any other fans of bad B movies....

Plan 9 From Outer Space:

Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown... the mysterious. The unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you, the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are bringing you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony, of the miserable souls, who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places. My friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts of grave robbers from outer space?

Noice! :rockin:

 

[Toilet Rocker]

37. My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks.

 

[Torchiest]

Strange Brew

The Old Man: Didja hear that honey? They got jobs! They got free beer ahahaHAHAHA, ohohoHOHOHO!!! Call the neighbors; oh nevermind, I'll do it myself!
...
...
Bob: We're gonna crash! We're gonna be in the water again!
Doug: There's no way we're gonna crash this. This is a beer truck, eh?
*rock music starts playing*

 

[trinitone]

No... You can't get away... From hell's heart I stab at thee... For hate's sake... I spit my last breath at thee! - Ricardo Montalban in Star Trek II

 

[Wolf]

Pep: I can't quite place it! It tastes like......
Joe Friday: MILK! Just like the sign said on the building before you obliterated it! Fresh, Wholesome Milk!
Pep: You probably love this stuff, don't you?
Joe Friday: Vitamin D! Calcium! Essential for good strong bones and healthy teeth! But that's probably all Greek to you, isn't it? Mr. Gingivitis!

Dragnet

Also from Dragnet...

Look out! Muppets!

 

[Brewsmith]

A few from one of my favorites - So I Married An Axe Murderer

Give your mother a kiss, or I'll kick your teeth in.



It's a known fact, Sonny Jim, that a secret society of the five wealthiest people, known as the Pentavirate run everything in the world, including the newspapers and meet tri-annually at a secret mansion in Colorado known as "The Meadows."

-Who's in this Pentavirate?

The Queen, the Vatican, the Gettys, the Rothschilds...and Colonel Sanders, before he went tits-up. I hated the Colonel, with his wee beady eyes and that smug look on his face. "You're gonna buy my chicken. Oh!"

Dad, how can you hate the Colonel?

He puts addictive chemicals in chicken making you crave it fortnightly,
smart-ass!



Hey Mom, I find it interesting that you refer to the Weekly World News as, "The paper." The paper contains facts.

This paper contains facts. And this paper has the eighth highest circulation in the whole wide world. Right? Plenty of facts. "Pregnant man gives birth." That's a fact.

 

[Bills Brew]

"What we do in life, echoes an eternity!" -- Gladiator

 

[alemonkey]

"Squeal like a pig!"

 

[the_bird]

37. My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks.

In a row? :fro:

 

[Hopfan]

SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!!!

You can take your thumb out of my ass any time now Carmine.

I love to travel to foreign countries, meet all sorts of interesting people, and kill them... (This is paraphrased as I can't quite remember it)

"This is not my first time." "I think we've already established that"

It's OK......Get the lighter fixed.

You take a f**kin shower, I'll get your f**kin suit

 

[EdWort]

Dirka Dirka, Mohamad Jihad.! Team America

 

[John Beere]

Get These Mother-Farking Snakes Off This Mother-Farking Airplane!!

 

[ScoutMan]

John Wayne as:
Col. Michael Kirby (The Green Berets):
"Out here, due process is a bullet."

John Bernard Books (The Shootist):
"I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them."

Tom Selleck as:
Matthew Quigley: I don't know where we're goin', but there's no sense bein' late.

Monte Walsh: "You can't have no idea how little I care"

 

[g0dolphins]

The IMDB servers are at limit with all the hits from HBT members.

LOL 2 funy!

 

[Ize]

Don Corleone: I like to drink wine more than I used to.
Michael: It's good for ya, Pop.
Don Corleone: Anyway I'm drinkin' more.


Ize

 

[g0dolphins]

Lefty: When I introduce you, I'm gonna say, "This is a friend of mine." That means you're a connected guy. Now if I said instead, this is a friend of ours that would mean you a made guy. A Capiche? -Donnie Brasco

 

[Shoopdog]

SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!!!

Ugggh, You beat me to it!!!

Here's another:

Badges? We ain't got no badges! We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinking badges! ~ The Treasure of the Sierra Madre

I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse. ~ The Godfather

 

[Flyin' Lion]

Talking to Zuzu was a lot like masturbating with a cheese grater, slightly amusing, but mostly painful--Andrew Dice Clay, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane.

 

[alemonkey]

Who wants a moustache ride?

I do, I do!

 

[RichBrewer]

"We are going to have the hap hap happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby danced with Danny F***ing Kaye."
Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) Christmas Vacation.

 

[Alembic]

Most people spend their lives trying to get out of tense situations. Repo man spends his life getting into tense situations (paraphrase - i know)

But this goes to 11

Hello Cleveland!

 

[sudsmonkey]

What sort of people listen to your music? Oh, You know, Professional people. Yeah, doctors, lawyers.... And thirteen year old white boys.

I watched a...slug.....crawl down the edge of a.......straightrazor...and survive.

Wow! You shot him! What is that, a .38? Yeah, .38, .39, whatever it took.

Damn! I shot Marvin in the face!

Unleash Hell.

There's gooks out there on the wire underneath the bodies. Get the Roach!

 

[Cheesefood]

Adventure? Heh. Excitement? Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. - Yoda

You see? You see? Your stupid minds. Stupid Stupid! - Plan 9

I'll buy THAAT for a dollar! - Robocop

Shpedoinkle! - Cannibal! The Musical

It smells like bigfoot's d!ck - Anchorman

Milk was a BAAAD idea - Ron Burgundy, Anchorman

Hi, I'm here for the gang-bang? - Old School

I'm sorry, Jesus. I'm sorry - Clerks 2

 

[herkojerko]

Clerks

Try not to suck any d@#ks on the way out of the parking lot. Dante

Did you ever notice that all of the prices end in nine? Damn thats eerie. Dante

 

[Cheesefood]

Where da white women at? - Blazing Saddles

 

[McKBrew]

From Armageddon

Oscar: Ok, Mr. Truman, let's say that we actually do land on this. What's it gonna be like up there?

Truman: 200 degrees in the sunlight, minus 200 in the shade, canyons of razor-sharp rock, unpredictable gravitational conditions, unexpected eruptions, things like that.

Oscar: Okay, so the scariest environment imaginable. Thanks. That's all you gotta say, scariest environment imaginable.

 

[user 574]

From Nice Dreams, in a padded room with a straight jacket on:

"Ahhh! My balls itch! Someone please scratch my balls!"

 

[Klainmeister]

"It smells like sex in here. What happened?" - Super Troopers

"Well you all know how i feel about the homeless...They're human beings, and they have no homes." - Dirty Work

And i would like to say it's good to be back posting on here, spent the last month or so in Munich getting some fine brews. I'll do a good post on here soon and see if we can make a recipe.

It's great to be back!

 

[Cheesefood]

"It smells like sex in here. What happened?" - Super Troopers

Without a doubt the best line in the movie.

"I eat pieces of $hit like you for breakfast.
You eat pieces of $hit for breakfast?" - Happy Gilmore

 

[zoebisch01]

From Nice Dreams, in a padded room with a straight jacket on:

"Ahhh! My balls itch! Someone please scratch my balls!"

"Hammmmburrrgeerrrrr"

 

[Hopfan]

Excuse me while I whip this out.

We're on a mission from God

 

[Big Duke Six]

"Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football", John Heisman

 

[Hippie]

So why do you call him 'snowball'? - Dante

"You look like the piss boy" - Count de Monet
"and you look like a bucket of sh*t" - The King

"He said 'the sherriff is getiing nearer'" - Mr. Johnson

"Bluca!" - Igor

"You know what, I will take one of those Chesterfields..." - Clarence Whorley, Sr.

Thanks guys, some total classics in this thread... I don't know how many I've thought of, only to have them already posted!

 

[Hopfan]

Pawn jumps queen. Knight jumps queen...GANG BANG!

I'm lookin for a pack of Trojans. Darn, I just sold the last one.

 

[andre the giant]

"Hammmmburrrgeerrrrr"

"NEW WAVE!" <in the peewee herman voice>

"Save those big fat funky whales....
Save the whales..... Shoot the seals! Cause they eat all the fish..."

"Would you like another hamburger Mr. Lizard!?!??" -Nice Dreams


"Stop that rhyming and I mean it!"
"Anybody want a peanut?" -princess bride

"You a bounty hunter?" -josie wales
"A man's got to do something for a living..." -bounty hunter
"Dying ain't much of a living, boy." -josie wales

"I'm going to have another drink, would you like another fish?" -Arthur

"Buddy Holly isn't much of a waiter." -Vincent Vega

"What's the color of the boat house at Hereford?" -Ronin

"Sometime, to understan de livin', you got to commune wit de dead." -Midnight in the garden of good and evil

"They were his damn 'jammies! I don't know, they had Yodas and **** on them." -Raising Arizona

 

[Toilet Rocker]

Holy ****, you see that f*cking head come apart? -- Bunny, Platoon

Don't just stare at it, eat it -- American Psycho

It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again -- Buffalo Bill, Silence of the Lambs

 

[zoebisch01]

"You a bounty hunter?" -josie wales
"A man's got to do something for a living..." -bounty hunter
"Dying ain't much of a living, boy." -josie wales

"I got the gold right here, Pa."