Movie quotes: keep it going

[Dude]

David: You know how I know you're gay? Cal: How? How do you know I'm gay? David: Because you macramed yourself a pair of jean shorts. Cal: You know how I know *you're* gay? You just told me you're not sleeping with women any more. David: You know how I know that you're gay? Cal: How? Cuz you're gay? and you can tell who other gay people are. David: You know how I know you're gay? Cal: How? David: You like Coldplay. 40 year Old Virgin.

 

[Cheesefood]

David: You know how I know you're gay? Cal: How? How do you know I'm gay? David: Because you macramed yourself a pair of jean shorts. Cal: You know how I know *you're* gay? You just told me you're not sleeping with women any more. David: You know how I know that you're gay? Cal: How? Cuz you're gay? and you can tell who other gay people are. David: You know how I know you're gay? Cal: How? David: You like Coldplay. 40 year Old Virgin.

So tell me this, when your son is born, is he already on parole?

 

[wild]

Don’t they usually come in pairs?
From: Are the Findings of Doctors and Clinics Who Do Sexual Research Accurate?
In: Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask

Wild

 

[Hopfan]

I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!!!

SWMBO & I are always quoting that one. Still makes me laugh.

 

[Cheesefood]

It was never easy being me. I was born a poor black child in Alabama.

Did he just say "making f*ck"?

 

[zoebisch01]

"Put all hope out of your mind. And masturbate as little as possible, it drains the strength! " Warden Barrot, Papillon

"What's the matter with your eye's?"
"I grounds up some Castor beans so I'd look sick enough to get in here"

 

[trinitone]

Don't just stare at it, eat it -- American Psycho

That is a great line from a fantastic scene in an awesome movie. I also loved his rants about Phil Collins and Huey Lewis.

 

[trinitone]

We are all animals my lady. - Tim Curry as The Lord of Darkness in Legend

 

[trinitone]

Chris Knight: So, if there's anything I can do for you, or, more to the point, to you, you just let me know.
Susan: Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?
Chris Knight: Not right now.
Susan: A girl's gotta have her standards.
- Real Genius

 

[Hopfan]

Chris Knight: So, if there's anything I can do for you, or, more to the point, to you, you just let me know.
Susan: Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?
Chris Knight: Not right now.
Susan: A girl's gotta have her standards.
- Real Genius

Can;t believe I didn't think of that one. One of my all time favorite movies!!

"you see Mitch, I used to be you. And lately, I've been missing me, so they let me room wth you" (Paraphrase)

"I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, "I drank WHAT?"

 

[trinitone]

Can;t believe I didn't think of that one. One of my all time favorite movies!!

"you see Mitch, I used to be you. And lately, I've been missing me, so they let me room wth you" (Paraphrase)

"I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, "I drank WHAT?"

Amen.

Mitch: This is Jesus, Kent. And you’ve been a very naughty boy.
Kent: All right. Who is this?!
Mitch: Cut the crap, Kent. You’ve built a weapon.
Kent: What?
Mitch: What do you think a secret phase conjugate tracking system is for? A big mirror makes a big beam.
Kent: I guess it could be.
Mitch: Where’s the laser now?
Kent: I overheard Jerry mention something about a test on the 27th. But I don’t know where. It’s classified.
Kent: What?!
Mitch: Oh! Nothing! I want you to think about what you’ve done, Kent. And from now on stop playing with yourself.
Kent: It is God.

 

[Bedlam]

Oh, it's hard to beat _Dogma_ for some seriously sweet movie quotes:

Bethany: What's he like?
Metatron: God? Lonely, but funny. He's got a great sense of humor. Take sex for example. There's nothing funnier then the faces you people make mid-coitus.
Bethany: Sex is a joke in Heaven?
Metatron: The way I understand it, it's mostly a joke down here, too.

and


Loki: You got to read at Sodom and Gomorrah. I had to do all the work.
Bartleby: What work did you do? You lit a few fires.
Loki: I rained down sulfur, man. There's a subtle difference.
Bartleby: Oh, okay, I'm sure.
Loki: Hey, you know, fu** you man. Any moron with a pack of matches can set a fire. Raining down sulfur is like an endurance trial. Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in . . . next to soccer.

 

[sause]

If we're going into more Kevin Smith movies:
Chasing Amy:

HOOPER:You got cracker farm-boy Luke Skywalker, Nazi poster boy - blond hair, blue eyes. And then you've got Darth Vader: the blackest brother in the galaxy. Nubian God.
BANKY: What's a Nubian?
HOOPER: Shut the f**k up!

Later:
HOOPER: They're trying to tell us that deep inside, we all want to be white! BANKY: Well isn't that true!

Even later:
BANKY: Man, I feel a hate-crime coming on.

Mallrats:
Brodie: Now, Hartford, the whale ? Hey, they only beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime.

 

[the_bird]

Kevin Smith movies are nothing BUT one-liners. I could probably recite every line of Clerks, 'Rats, and Chasing Amy verbatim. There's no way to pick a favorite...

Brodie: Tell me, did you ever fart in front of her?
T.S. Quint: No, why do you ask?
Brodie: I never farted in front of Renee. Last week, I let one slip and today she dumps me.
T.S. : Renee's not the shallow type. You're not insinuating...
Brodie: She was going down on me at the time.
T.S. : [Retches]
Brodie: What can I say, I was feeling relaxed, when I feel relaxed I squirt.
T.S. : If all she did was dump you, you got off light.

Brodie: [Brodie's voice] One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrasing for my relatives and all, but next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And I says to him, "Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too. Why don't you knock it off?" And he said to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.

 

[trinitone]

Hey... you wanna see something really scary? - Dan Akroyd in Twilight Zone : The Movie

Chris (Mark Wahlberg): Oh, maybe if I get really lucky, I'll get to grow up and listen to Air Supply and wear jack boots.
Joe (Matthew Glave): What's wrong with Air Supply?
Chris: Nothing, if you're the cop from the Village People.
- Rock Star

 

[trinitone]

Snatch is a great one for quotes. (And just a great movie.)

Brick Top (Alan Ford): Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible c*nt... me.

Brick Top: In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again?

Brick Top: Listen, you f*cking fringe, if I throw a dog a bone, I don't want to know if it tastes good or not. You stop me again whilst I'm walking, and I'll cut your f*cking Jacobs off.

Bullet Tooth Tony (Vinnie Jones): So, you are obviously the big dick. The men on the side of ya are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey f*ggot balls.
Vinny (Robbie Gee): These are your last words, so make them a prayer.
Bullet Tooth Tony: Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell p*ssy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old p*ssy, and have brought your two small mincey f*ggot balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties mangled up. There's no p*ssy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun...
Bullet Tooth Tony: And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written down the side of mine should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... f*ck off!

 

[Toilet Rocker]

Hey, everybody, we're all gonna get laid!

 

[the_bird]

One of the best movies of the past decade:

"SHOTGUN ANUS!"

 

[cha ngo]

"Check out the big brain on Brad!"

 

[Hippie]

"Think you used enough dynamite there, Butch?" - Sundance

"One, Two, Five!"
"No, Three Sire"
"Three!" - King Arthur & Servant

"Attica!, Attica!" - Sonny (Not great, but iconic, and it popped in my head while typing)

"I've been chasing a squadron of Jap planes all night..."
"but that's just a case of war nerves."
"Who said that?"
"That radio over there"
Draws .45 and shoots
"Radio's wrong." - 'Wild' Bill Kelso and unnamed civillian

"Have you ever felt as if your brain had begun to erode?" - Scientist, Repo Man

"Can I see your liscence please?" - Officer
"Isn't back there on the bumper?" - Pedro

 

[Cheesefood]

I tamed wild stallion for you.

Come on...how has NO ONE hit up Napoleon Dynamite?

Rico: What did you think of my movie?
ND: I think it's the worst movie ever made!
Rico: Come on, Napoleon. Like anyone will ever know that.

 

[Hippie]

"You know I'm training to become a cage fighter."

 

[dancingbarefoot]

Are you a Mexi-CAN or a Mexi-CAN'T?

 

[Brewtopia]

Another from Casablanca (does that surprise anyone?)

Ugarte: "You despise me don't you Rick?"
Rick: "If I gave you any thought I probably would."

 

[user 4295]

I'm sorry, you have the wrong number. This is 912! Chief Wiggum- The Simpsons

 

[Yuri_Rage]

"Littering and....? Littering and....? Littering and....? Littering and....? Littering and....? Littering and....? Littering and....? Smokin' the reefer." - Supertroopers

"Stunt cock!" - Orgazmo

"Do you mind if we dance with your dates?" - Animal House

"You'll shoot your eye out, kid." - A Christmas Story

 

[user 4295]

"I wore that uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass two years!" - Pulp Fiction

 

[Hippie]

"Toga!...Toga!...Toga!" - Senator Blutarsky

"Do you smell that?
Napalm, son
Nothing else in the world smells like that...
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
We had a hill bombed once, for 12 hours, and when it was all over, I walked up. We didn't find one of them, not one stinking dink body, but that smell, that gasoline smell, the whole hill... it smelled like... victory.
Some day this war's gonna end..." - Col. Killgore
(I hope that is right, I did it from memory)

"Orange Whip? Orange Whip? get us three Orange Whips" -Probation Officer Mercer

"Nothings Over!!" - John Rambo

 

[Hippie]

"the snozberries taste like snozberries!"

 

[dirtymartini]

"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle dixie? Clint Eastwood- The outlaw Josey Wales

 

[dirtymartini]

I can't believe no one has used this one yet....

" I love the smell of Napalm in the morning....it smells like...VICTORY.

Robert Duvall
-Apocolypse Now

 

[rdwj]

I can't believe no one has used this one yet....

" I love the smell of Napalm in the morning....it smells like...VICTORY.

Robert Duvall
-Apocolypse Now

*looks up 3 posts*

 

[Hopfan]

All right, you cheese-dicks, welcome to the 'nam! Follow me

Surely you can't be serious? I am serious, and don't call me Shirley

 

[Hopfan]

One of the best movies of the past decade:

"SHOTGUN ANUS!"

Who wants first reacharound????

 

[Cheesefood]

"Baby-Talk isn't a catch phrase!"
"No, but Baby Fish Mouth is sweeping the nation"

-When Harry Met Sally

 

[Toilet Rocker]

First you wanna kiss me. Now you wanna kill me. Blow.

 

[Toilet Rocker]

You ain't leading but two things right now Jack and ****, and jack left town.

 

[trinitone]

Ming (Max von Sydow): Klytus, I'm bored. What play thing can you offer me today?
Klytus (Peter Wyngarde): An obscure body in the SK System, your majesty. The inhabitants refer to it as the planet Earth.
Ming: How peaceful it looks...
(Ming starts to tear sh*t up on Earth)
Both: maniacal laughing
Klytus: Most effective your majesty. Will you destroy this... Earth
Ming: LATER.... I like to play with things awhile... before annihilation.
- Flash Gordon

 

[dancingbarefoot]

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.

 

[Toilet Rocker]

Bruce: Well hello mr fancypants.