When the zombie hordes come....

[EvilTOJ]

What, you didn't get into homebrewing because you don't have any other post apocalyptic skills? I suppose you could get into whoring, but not everyone can be a whore, you know.

Now that I have my own place, it's time for me to start making.... preparations...

 

[Revvy]

I think Maybe Northern Brewer ihas a lot to do with it, every now and then their BYO or Zymurgy ads or catalog covers talking about the coming zombipocalypse..

This one is recent.

 

[Evan!]

Revvy, you think you could cram any more snark into your new sig

On a quasi-serious note, there are 'Versus' questions where one side will make beer and the other side will make pure, unadulterated evil. Like, for instance:

"Should I ferment my beer in a glass carboy, or the chest cavity of a felled elk?"

"Should I pitch S-04, or Fleishmann's?"

"Should I use Malted grains, or can I use feed from the Tractor Supply Company?"

"What's the difference between fermenting my beer at 85f versus 65f?"

"Is it okay to crush my grains with a hammer?"

"If I add granulated table sugar to water and ferment with bread yeast, and people laugh at me when I ask why my "beer" is cloudy, are they elitist ass-c*nts?"

etc., etc. You're prone to absolutism, I know (just look at your "never dump your beer!" thread---some beer SHOULD be dumped!), but, well...just wanted to give you sh*t.

 

[Decojuicer]

I think Maybe Northern Brewer ihas a lot to do with it, every now and then their BYO or Zymurgy ads or catalog covers talking about the coming zombipocalypse..

This one is recent.

Is there any evidence backing up their claims?? I'd like to see the data. If Trappist style beers really do repel zombies, then I will start brewing now. Nothing like have 100 gallons of tripples on hand, "just in case".

 

[Revvy]

Is there any evidence backing up their claims?? I'd like to see the data. If Trappist style beers really do repel zombies, then I will start brewing now. Nothing like have 100 gallons of tripples on hand, "just in case".

This guy seems to think so....Alcohol and Ammunition: Zombie Repellent

 

[Decojuicer]

Well, even if it doesn't work, at least you'll be pretty druck when they eat your brains.

 

[Madman]

I dunno, if you read World War Z, it's humanity's selfishness that saves the race. The Redeker Plan sets up safe zones in small areas protected by a natural barrier (US capital moves to Hawaii, for instance) while small groups of people are kept outside of the safe zones to act a diversions for attacking zombies, giving preparation time to the safe zones.

It was a monstrous plan, but it kept the race going.

If I was to be caught up in a zombie apocalypse, I'd be the guy making all the preparations to save everyone then get shot when a soldier mistakes my exhausted ass for a zombie.

So, I'd basically be Ben, but... you know... white.

 

[Decojuicer]

Has anybody seen my Shaun of the Dead DVD?? I can't find it any where. Mother F*****!!!

 

[Madman]

I threw it at a zombie in my backyard. The DVD is lodged in it's forehead, if you'd like to retrieve it!

 

[Decojuicer]

Man, I knew that it would end up being something like that. I just want to know how it got from my house in Michigan, to Delaware?? Maybe it was carried by a couple of swallows.

Wait, forget I said that.

 

[Zul'jin]

We're in luck! I am a licensed waste water plant operator. When the zombie juice infects the water, I can clean it. Or grow trillions upon trillions of zombie microorganisms.

DUDE! Zombie yeast!

Hmmm, maybe not so good.

 

[HBHoss]

Man, I knew that it would end up being something like that. I just want to know how it got from my house in Michigan, to Delaware?? Maybe it was carried by a couple of swallows.

Wait, forget I said that.

Must've been South African Swallows.

 

[Madman]

Man, I knew that it would end up being something like that. I just want to know how it got from my house in Michigan, to Delaware?? Maybe it was carried by a couple of swallows.

Wait, forget I said that.

Dude, this isn't brain surgery. It took a train.

 

[Revvy]

Dude, this isn't brain surgery. It took a train.

You said Brains!!!!

 

[BrewinJack]

We're in luck! I am a licensed waste water plant operator. When the zombie juice infects the water, I can clean it. Or grow trillions upon trillions of zombie microorganisms.

DUDE! Zombie yeast!

Hmmm, maybe not so good.

Zomibe hooch... or maybe... just water from Detroit... who knows

Cheers

 

[Decojuicer]

All right, there is a ****in' conspiracy going on around here!!! First, my ****in' Shaun of the Dead DVD disappears, now my Zombie Survival manual is ****in' missing. I am beginning to think that there is a ****in' zombie lover in my house!!! Somebody that believes that zombies are people too!!

I guess I'll need to tear this house apart until I find this stuff, then punish the zombie lover who hid my stuff!!

 

[Revvy]

All right, there is a ****in' conspiracy going on around here!!! First, my ****in' Shaun of the Dead DVD disappears, now my Zombie Survival manual is ****in' missing. I am beginning to think that there is a ****in' zombie lover in my house!!! Somebody that believes that zombies are people too!!

I guess I'll need to tear this house apart until I find this stuff, then punish the zombie lover who hid my stuff!!

Uh...you haven't noticed any bites (not made by you) on Erica have you?

 

[Decojuicer]

No, and I have been checking thoroughly and regularly.

 

[DeathBrewer]

which brings us to determining zombie victims aka future zombies.

if a woman has sex with a zombie, she may not give any external physical signs for some time. some indications may be:

1) loss of zombie preparation material (as noted)
2) missing pets or children
3) increasingly voracious appetite for sex (always use protection)
4) absence of nagging

 

[shecky]

which brings us to determining zombie victims aka future zombies.

if a woman has sex with a zombie, she may not give any external physical signs for some time. some indications may be:

1) loss of zombie preparation material (as noted)
2) missing pets or children
3) increasingly voracious appetite for sex (always use protection)
4) absence of nagging

Based on that criteria, my wife has NOT had sex with a zombie. I should find one for her.

 

[hungrymonkey]

prepared for WWZ.

 

[DeathBrewer]

even though 3-4 (and possibly 2 if you have a chihuahua) sound excellent, remember that it is only temporary. even zombie slaves can only be kept for a limited number of time indoors, as the smell becomes overwhelming.

but do not fear! scientists are working on a liquid "brain-like" diet for the zombies which will not only improve their overall odor, but make them more pleasing to the eye. soon, we hope, you will not have to depart with your loved ones as quickly as in the past.

 

[chainsawbrewing]

even though 3-4 (and possibly 2 if you have a chihuahua) sound excellent, remember that it is only temporary. even zombie slaves can only be kept for a limited number of time indoors, as the smell becomes overwhelming.

but do not fear! scientists are working on a liquid "brain-like" diet for the zombies which will not only improve their overall odor, but make them more pleasing to the eye. soon, we hope, you will not have to depart with your loved ones as quickly as in the past.

wow. you are such a noob. you obviously have never seen the movie fido.

 

[DeathBrewer]

i actually have. that **** was funny. but it was obviously a work of science fiction.

 

[Zul'jin]

Is it safe to have sex with a zombie chic if she's not on her rag? I need to know right away.

 

[DeathBrewer]

eww...hey...rough, man.

well, we definitely don't want any zombie babies.

 

[chainsawbrewing]

eww...hey...rough, man.

well, we definitely don't want any zombie babies.

wow. you are such a noob. you obviously haven't seen the movie dead alive.

 

[zoebisch01]

glad I could live up to expectations.

speaking of zombies, just try going into a Sam's Club right before christmas. Seriously, with a little bit of makeup, that could have easily been a scene used in a zombie flick. The wife and I would just walk around and moan like zombies at everyone. Nobody really noticed. I guess it was a combination of all the old folks, with a sort of slowed-down attitude of the holidays...then you factor in that most Sam's Club customers are like that all the time, and, well, it's Dawn of the Dead in real life. Braaaaaains! BRAAAIIIINNNNSSSSS!!!! ugh, i can just see them now, lumbering along with a limp because one leg is fatter than the other, hanging onto the cart for dear life because they can't walk on their own, mouth hanging open, eyes glazed over, no particular path in mind. Squint your eyes, it's Dawn of the Dead.

I talked to my mom a few days before xmas, she was going to the grocery store and asked if I needed anything for the xmas dinner. I told her to watch out. "Watch out for what?", she asked. "The Living Dead", I said. "Huh? Where?" "The grocery store. You'll see."

Living dead. I use the term "Meandrethal" sometimes. I really have little patience for people that just float around and waste my time because they have no clear cut goals. It pisses me off really. They don't notice because they are just wandering around in a fog all the time.

My dad used to say "Boys, most of the herd isn't too swift". :cross:

Effin-A right dad.

 

[DeathBrewer]

wow. you are such a noob. you obviously haven't seen the movie dead alive.

right...some a charming young lad.

We get our Crazy Babies wholesale, and the savings go directly to YOU!

 

[chainsawbrewing]

right...some a charming young lad.

We get our Crazy Babies wholesale, and the savings go directly to YOU!

woot! old school peter jackson FTW!!!

side note-i'm kicking myself for not purchasing the dvd rip of the original version braindead when i saw it at the last horror convention i went too.