The pigcowturduckenguica!

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Start it earlier. You'll be better off having to take it out and reheat it than giving everyone food poisoning because you served meat that didn't get to a high enough temp to kill all of the different bacteria you will be tossing into the hot tub.

Either that or have candy dishes filled with Flagyl and Vancomycin set out on the serving table for your guests to help themselves

PTN
 
I'm not concerned in any way about it being done.... and I don't want it to be a huge chunk of cardboard. I usually roast the sucklings in that pit for about 6 hours. I think 8 will take care of the stuffing.

Worst case scenario, I'll just open the air intakes in the pit and let the fire stoke up.

It'll be done.

Re-heating sucks.
 
Any way to have a probe thermometer in there?

Probably not, but that would be a huge help.

When the inner most jambalaya hits 160, you would know that the rest is done.
 
I have used those oven thermometers in the past but every time I do, the probe never makes it the entire roasting time. The wire going to the probe always ends up melted or something screwy goes wrong with them. I think they're a waste of money. When I pop open the pit first thing in the morning when I get up, I'll take a temp to see where it is with a long meat thermometer I have.

At this point, I've cooked so many pigs in the ground this way I basically use the force.

"These aren't the droids you're looking for... and the pig is done"

I've never had a pig come out undercooked so... I'm not horribly worried about it.

The other part of the equation here is I'm bringing my "monster grill" to the game (a two by six charcoal grill I built out of angle iron and sheet metal). I can simply place the pig INTO that grill and then lay two sheets of sheet metal over the top and basically make a big oven (how I'm going to maintain pig-temperature at the game) and if the pig isn't totally done, I'll leave it in there a couple of hours and we'll eat at 3:00 instead of 1:00.

i'm not worried about it.
 
Right on.

Most probe cords are good to 395F or so. If the cord is in the meat, it should be shrinkwrapped or otherwise waterproofed.

I LOVE probe thermometers for Turkey, chicken and pork, but I am also cooking fowl to 160F and pork to....140(?), I need to doublecheck that pork safe temp.

I am not cooking to the falling off the bone point.
 
I made a Turducken for thanksgiving this year and it was a crapload of work. I can't imagine the amount of work you're gonna have to do. The turducken works because you can de-bone the birds. You planning to do the same with the pig?

We joked about doing a Ostemuturgooduckenhen. Ostrich-emu-turkey-goose-duck-chicken-cornish hen....

I would have been de-boning birds for a week to do that!
 
Randar said:
We joked about doing a Ostemuturgooduckenhen. Ostrich-emu-turkey-goose-duck-chicken-cornish hen....

I would have been de-boning birds for a week to do that!
Click to expand...

Not if you had enough people together to bone a bird each... A "bird boning party"... :eek: No idea where you would get the ostrich and emu, but aren't they almost the same bird? At least close to the same size... From what I can recall both ostrich and emu are cooked more like red meat (since it is red meat) so cooking them to the point where the rest would be done, would probably turn them into shoe leather (or worse)...
 
Ostrich is much bigger than emu, growing as large as 350 pounds. Emu get as large as 100 pounds.

Yes, I am sure it would dry out (as does a turkey in a Turducken, BTW), which is why you par-cook the smaller birds before stuffing.

Either that or I could use a 50 gal garbage can as a sous vide (I don't have a RIMS, but that would be a good use of one!)
 
No... not de-boning the pig... that would just be dumb.

The pig is the vessel from within the pigcowturduckenguica awesomeness will be delivered. de-boning the pig would just make it a big nasty pile o' meat.

Not too concerned about deboning the birdies. meh.. hour tops. I gots da shahp knives.
 
Uhhh, never mind. I forgot, I'm having a colonoscopy that day. Or my wisdom teeth extracted. Or I volunteered to be a nude model at the Museum of Fine Art. I forget which it was but I suddenly remember I has something else really important to do that day.

Really.

PTN
 
I'm workin' all day Friday... unless you mean Friday night..

And then... maybe.

This forecast has me nervous... only cause my lilttle schedule in my head is saying I need to pick up the pig tomorrow morning in South Boston and with this snow they're talking about, I don't see that happening. If I can't do it tomorrow morning (my work-from-home day), not sure when I'm gonna be able to do it. I guess I could drive into work Thursday morning or something.
 
I think beef inside the pig. The pigskin should be on the outside! and what about chuck. It has lotsa nice fat and great flavor, and will cook in a reasonable time.

Edit: I didn't look at page two!! Carry on!
 
I can probably go over there and get it for you. I'm assuming you are getting the hawg at Taurus Packing. If they let me leave in the morning and don't shanghai me and make me sleep at the hospital so that they know I come back tomorrow night I can go over there and get it for you. I can either bring it in the cellar or leave it in the back of the truck.

Certainly won't be the first time I've had a dead hawg in the back of the truck. (Take that any way you want.)

PTN
 
On second thought I was figuring on packing a bag and planning to wait out the snowstorm at the hospital tomorrow night (day). I was going to bring my guitar, a bottle of hooch and a pepperoni pizza. Lets face it, the only thing keeping it from being a party to end all parties is the cadaver of an eviscerated hawg up in the sleep study lab along with me and the rest of the ICU girls.

Thank you, Son. You may have just made me a legend in my own time.

PTN
 
So, you will wrap it all in cabbage?

It won't dry out, but you may not be able to tell one meat from another.;)

Couldn't view the vid from work, just witnessed the pig roast. NICE!

It sorta is direct heat though, right?
 
Nah... Not gonna wrap it in cabbage. My game plan is to cobble together two large aluminum baking trays and heavy duty aluminum foil... Put the pig in the tray and then tent aluminum foil around it to maintain the moisture. About an hour before it is done i'll take the foil off, jack up the heat a bit an crisp up the skin
 
Ala alton brown, crisping the skin first and then covering is a little bit preferble for not overcooking the outside, but it doesn't get as crisp, or rather, the crisp gets a little steamed.

Maybe crisp before and a little at the end?

Either way, I wish I could be there to help!;)
 
Did you get da hawg? I can swing by Taurus in the morning if you want.



Uhhh, except that it's 1:30 AM and you probably wont see this till I'm home in bed. If you see this and call me early I can do it for you if that will help you out. I'm in Dorchester, I can be over in South Bay in 15 minutes.

PTN
 
I effin got up before the crack a dawn... drove my sorry a$$ into Dotty and the bastids didn't even HAVE ONE!!!

WHAT?!?!? How do you not have one???

The biggest one they had was 20 lbs. JEEEESIZ... what the hell am I gonna do with a 20 lb pig besides nuthin???

Effin orders are all screwed up because of the snow and they'll have it first thing tomorrow morning. I'm gonn ahve the SWMBO swing in and get it tomorrow since she's driving to work anyway. I'll literally put a cooler in the back of her truck with the brine in it and as soon as she picks it up, I'll have her put it right in the cooler.

That's not enough time to properly brine the pig... (it'll really only be a day and a half or so)... but I think a partial is better than nothing.
 
Let me see if I have this right.

You are going to have SWMBO driving around on ice and snow covered roads with a dead pig doing the backstroke in 75 gallons worth of pig juice, all sloshing around in a Coleman cooler in the back of her SUV?

That's a wicked good idea, Brian. A wicked good idea. Maybe you should try to find a few dead skunks that you can hide under the rear seat to complete things when it finally warms up around here.

PTN
 
I missed the part about her having to wrestle the dead pig carcass into the Coleman cooler standing there in the parking lot at Taurus. God, this is getting better by the minute. So then she's going to drive to work. With a pig carcass scuba diving in the back of her car.

If there is a God in heaven sometime around 11 o'clock tomorrow morning her boss is going to say to her, "Hey, we have a meeting over at XYZ in fifteen minutes. My car is in the shop. You're driving, lets go."

PT
 
It's not too late to head down to the Stop and Shop and pick up a couple of packs of hot dogs for the game. Sure, it doesn't have the same cache as stuffing a duck billed platypus inside a rhinoceros but think of the money you will save not paying the legal fees for the divorce lawyer.

PTN
 
I plan to grill a kielbasabratdogli'lsmoky stuffed with tuna salad and a whole deep fried salamander.

for a side, I am serving up a bakedpotatoleekgreenbeanpea wrapped in cabbage and smoked for 3 days.;)
 
It comes with HORRIFIC sadness that I have to announce that I have... officially... pulled the plug on the pigcowturduckenguica for this weekend.

It was just not working out. The stars aligned against me and it was just turning into too much of a headache. With the snowstorm screwing things up, I wasn't able to get the pig until today sometime (still don't have it).

it would be frozen and I don't want to halfass this. I really wanted a solid two days of brining on that thing and since it is still currently frozen solid, I would end up with about an hour of brining once all said and done.

It just got to the point where i was really forcing it to try to get it ready for the game on sunday so I'm pulling the plug... for this weekend.

I'm going to go and grab it tomorrow morning, toss it in my walk-in and let it defrost for a day or two, keep it refridgerated and then start the brine next wednesday.

I will HOPE the Pats win this weekend against the Jets and if they do, i'll have the pig for the AFC championship game. If the Pats lose... meh... I'll have to invite some folks over and just have it at the house.

SO... NOT cancelled all together but the timing is pushed back a week.
 
I will HOPE the Pats win this weekend against the Jets and if they do, i'll have the pig for the AFC championship game.
Click to expand...
You best leave this weak sauce outta the OFTTT (is that really you Cape?).

Good decision though imo, don't rush/half-ass it.
 
cheezydemon3 said:
I plan to grill a kielbasabratdogli'lsmoky stuffed with tuna salad and a whole deep fried salamander.

for a side, I am serving up a bakedpotatoleekgreenbeanpea wrapped in cabbage and smoked for 3 days.;)
Click to expand...

For the true "Cape Brewing" effect you could claim that you PLANNED to stuff that all inside a Minke whale and cook it in your homemade nuclear fission reactor in your garage BUT those bastards from Greenpeace have the Farkin' Bob Barker and the Sea Shepard shadowing your kids home from grammar school SO it is with a HEAVY HEART and MUCH REGRET that you are going to have to TEMPORARILY shelve the whole idea BUT you are gonna stop at the Piggly Wiggly on the way home to pick up a 12 pack of frozen White Castle burgers so the Big Weekend won't be a total wash.

Then everyone could say "Awwwwwww poor Cheeze, you got jobbed!"
 
paulthenurse said:
For the true "Cape Brewing" effect you could claim that you PLANNED to stuff that all inside a Minke whale and cook it in your homemade nuclear fission reactor in your garage BUT those bastards from Greenpeace have the Farkin' Bob Barker and the Sea Shepard shadowing your kids home from grammar school SO it is with a HEAVY HEART and MUCH REGRET that you are going to have to TEMPORARILY shelve the whole idea BUT you are gonna stop at the Piggly Wiggly on the way home to pick up a 12 pack of frozen White Castle burgers so the Big Weekend won't be a total wash.

Then everyone could say "Awwwwwww poor Cheeze, you got jobbed!"
Click to expand...

SAD TO SAY.......(ahem, so far so good?) I planned to grill the kielbasabratdogli'lsmoky stuffed with tuna salad and a whole deep fried salamander this weekend, but the little smokies all got eaten by my damned KIDS!!!!

I am having some more smokies shipped to me by my wife when she goes to Krogers this weekend.

In an effort NOT TO RUSH THE POTATO........I am putting the whole thing off until the next fall ASSUMING that U of L defeats U of K in their annual football game, so that I can fart at all of my U of K friends as we look at my kielbasabratdogli'lsmoky stuffed with tuna salad and a whole deep fried salamander, and decide who gets to eat it.
 
Hey everybody, C'mon and help me cheer up Cheez.


Oh MAN, Cheeze! That SUCKS!!!! I hate those farkers on the Sea Shepard. How do you get to be first mate on a ship sailing to farkin Antarctica when you aren't old enough to shave?

"F the Polar Bears!!! CHEEZE. CHEEZE. CHEEZE!!!!

We shall overcome!


Kumbaya!

PTN
 

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