Stupid Joke Thread!

[balrog]

My significant other got stung on the forehead.
Face all swollen.
In the ER now.

Luckily I was close enough when it happened and was able to hit it with a shovel.

 

[BongoYodeler]

My significant other got stung on the forehead.
Face all swollen.
In the ER now.

Luckily I was close enough when it happened and was able to hit it with a shovel.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

 

[balrog]

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Sorry everyone. It was funnier when a woman told it, about her husband.
It kinda went "splat" when I told it.

Pun intended.

 

[GrogNerd]

me, to animal control: I found a suitcase with a fox & 4 little baby foxes.

animal control: are they moving?

me: that would explain the suitcase, but I don't know.

 

[balrog]

It would be funny if it weren’t true.

All.
The.
Time.

 

[ncbrewer]

Sorry everyone. It was funnier when a woman told it, about her husband.
It kinda went "splat" when I told it.

Pun intended.

It reminds me of the sick jokes from when I was a kid.

 

[balrog]

The Institute of Unfinished Research concluded that 6 out of 10 people

 

[balrog]

 

[balrog]

Did your hear? They're not making 12" rulers
any longer

 

[BongoYodeler]

 

[balrog]

<the following is intended as humor. Do not try this at home without some semblance of ux knowledge. I will not be held responsible for my own, your, or anyone's stupidity>

Linux Tips
Always remove the french language pack to save disk space:
sudo rm -fr /*

Follow me for more disk saving tips

 

[balrog]

I can't remember from school how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman Numerals, and IM LIVID

 

[balrog]

I was in Home Depot and some little kid called me an "old fart"

So if you're missing your kid, he's in the red LG dryer, Isle 17.

 

[day_trippr]

<the following is intended as humor. Do not try this at home without some semblance of ux knowledge. I will not be held responsible for my own, your, or anyone's stupidity>

Linux Tips
Always remove the french language pack to save disk space:
sudo rm -fr /*

Follow me for more disk saving tips

There are actually lots of discussions about that infamous command line extant.
Some are freakin' hilarious - and some actually try to find ways to prevent The Horror

 

[homebeerbrewer]

That’s why you should have at least one backup.

 

[day_trippr]

Meh. Where's the drama in that?

 

[balrog]

(meanwhile, in another corner of the web, we find)

"What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?"

"One's a superhero, the other is a command"

 

[balrog]

If I climb into bed with you and start snuggling, all you have to do is snuggle back.
It helps me fall asleep.

Don't start asking things, like "how'd you get into my house"

That ruins the moment.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Where do rainbows go?

Prism. It is just a light sentence.

 

[doug293cz]

Where do rainbows go?

Prism. It is just a light sentence.

We really need a groan emoji for the "Like" options.

Brew on

 

[pvtpublic]

If I climb into bed with you and start snuggling, all you have to do is snuggle back.
It helps me fall asleep.

Don't start asking things, like "how'd you get into my house"

That ruins the moment.

 

[balrog]

A little light LOTR humor

 

[pvtpublic]

A little light LOTR humor

View attachment 853461

*Orcs

 

[balrog]

What's a bigamist?

A thick fog in Italy.

 

[balrog]

I told my wife she should go through Life embracing her mistakes.


She gave me a hug.

 

[balrog]

 

[ncbrewer]

 

[Sailingeric]

View attachment 853853

I would rather lose a few years and have a few good beers than live to hundred and to have had no fun

 

[day_trippr]

Going by my mom, living to 100 appears highly overrated. Her siblings expired long ago as have all of her peers, and now the kids of all those people are leaving, too. And forget about real mobility at that age...

 

[balrog]

Going by my mom, living to 100 appears highly overrated. Her siblings expired long ago as have all of her peers, and now the kids of all those people are leaving, too. And forget about real mobility at that age...

Guess the bright side is you have good genes.