Old Timer Sayings

[Brewmasher]

Mother- "Blow it out your a$$ Joe"
Father- "Blow it out YOUR a$$ Irene"

 

[JB_Brewing2]

Good advice to always follow: "Son, God gave you two ears and one mouth; use 'em in them proportions."

When troubled or worried: "Follow grandpa's two rules. Rule number one, don't sweat the small stuff. Rule number two, everything is small stuff."

"That's about as good as a fart in a spacesuit"

"Can't get blood out of a turnip."

 

[unionrdr]

Mom's favorite one posted above the old wall phone, " Be sure brain is engaged before putting mouth in gear!"

 

[smurfjuice]

Try using your head for something else besides keeping your ears from clanging together ... my paw's favorite.

 

[20grit]

Tis better to be silent and thought a fool than speak and be known as one.

Smart is the finder for the smell lies behind her. (Grandma's fart joke)

If you were doing (insert activity here) for $H!T, you wouldn't be anywhere close to a smell. (various males in my family used this one)

 

[beernbourbon]

"You're the one f**kin' this cat, I'm just holding the tail."
referring to helping someone with an unpleasant task

 

[unionrdr]

Peter Seller's doing an old one we all can identify with...

 

[Kirkwooder]

He's more than just an ********, he's the whole ass!

 

[myelo]

Regarding a useless worker: "Hiring him was like losing 2 of my best men."

 

[GHBWNY]

Re: someone who doesn't like to spend money: "Tighter than two coats of paint."

 

[Hinermad]

"'Bout as hard to run around him as it is to jump over him." Said by our shop teacher about our tallest (and heaviest) football player.

 

[Brewmasher]

Re: someone who doesn't like to spend money: "Tighter than two coats of paint."

Or "He's so tight he has to floss his ass before he can take a sh!t"