Fake troll thread titles - give us your best!!

[m_c_zero]

Anyone have a good recipe for a breast milk stout?

 

[Skagdog]

Anyone have a good recipe for a breast milk stout?

It's fake troll"titles", not fake troll "ti++ies"...

 

[beaston]

"I want to make some skeeter pee, where might I aqire the proper amount of mosquitoes?"

 

[boydster]

Beer is growing hair through airlock... RDWHAHB?

Bottled my first beer yesterday, but it's still flat?? HELP!

 

[sloanfamilydsm]

I struggle with premature fermentation

 

[boydster]

Pitched yeast... how to make it land in fermenter instead of on floor next time?

 

[rrmiller]

Thinking bout converting old hot tub into mlt any thoughts?

 

[h4mmy86]

Easy Drunk Recipe:
Table Sugar, Water, Rapid Rise Bread Yeast

 

[gcdowd]

Pitched yeast... how to make it land in fermenter instead of on floor next time?

Haha this one made me seriously lol.

 

[m_c_zero]

Any suggestions on a recipe for a bath salt pale ale?

 

[chumpsteak]

Help! Made my first batch today but I don't taste any alcohol!

 

[gcdowd]

LHBS does not have Simcoe. Can I just sub my cat's piss?

 

[boydster]

Do I really need to sanitize if my recipe is 9% ABV?

 

[gingerdawg]

Can I use a drain snake to clean out my hairlock?

 

[boydster]

Can I wash my yeast in the shower while I'm in there? Will that give me a yeast infection?

...Can I even get a yeast infection? My wife would think that was weird...

 

[Vigo_Carpathian]

What am I doing wrong? My beer won't carb up. I cranked it up to 50psi and still nothing. It's been three and a half hours now and I'm starting to get a little worried.

 

[DrunkleJon]

First brew day done. Forgot the yeast. Will it still be beer?

 

[gcdowd]

I want a sweet beer. Will 10 lbs of crystal malt be enough?

 

[Cromwell]

So... just to be clear, I shouldn't bottle a few days after I brew, because I can get bottle bombs?

Thanks,
-Tamarlan.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

So... just to be clear, I shouldn't bottle a few days after I brew, because I can get bottle bombs?

Thanks,
-Tamarlan.

Too soon

 

[DrunkleJon]

I had a few bottle bombs, do I need to worry about the ATF showing up?

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

I like apfelwein for it's delicate pleasing flavor. How do I brew a non-alcoholic version?

 

[h4mmy86]

My scale broke! How many hop pellets do I put in my DIPA?!

 

[Zuljin]

My scale broke! How many hop pellets do I put in my DIPA?!

All of them.

 

[JohanMk1]

My scale broke! How many hop pellets do I put in my DIPA?!

One, it has to be about two feet long though.

 

[boydster]

OMG!!!!! I just made a perfect Natty Ice clone!!!!!

 

[DrunkleJon]

OMG!!!!! I just made a perfect Natty Ice clone!!!!!

Milwakees Best Ice recipe help.

 

[Ostomo517]

AB started the craft beer movement

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Alton Brown? True in some cases...

 

[drainbamage]

Can I bottle-carb with Alka-Seltzer instead of priming sugar?

If I dissolve a couple tabs of acid in the secondary, will the beer make me trip balls?

Looks like I got a cut on my hand and bled into the brew pot, are there any fermentable sugars in there?