Fake troll thread titles - give us your best!!

[boydster]

Milwakees Best Ice recipe help.

HA! The Beast :rockin:

 

[boydster]

Looks like I got a cut on my hand and bled into the brew pot, are there any fermentable sugars in there?

Did I just ruin my beer??

 

[jglazer]

So I racked my primary, when do I take it down?

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

My wife does not have a yeast infection. Can I harvest it?

 

[Halbrust]

Can I bottle-carb with Alka-Seltzer instead of priming sugar?

Can you?

 

[Goofynewfie]

Can you?

I was wondering same thing

 

[drainbamage]

I was wondering same thing

:smack: That was a joke!!!

...Actually, I don't know. Seems like a fast track to some bottle bombs. Anyone feeling brave?

Got another one: My Mr. Beer amber ale didn't win in the homebrew competition, what did I do wrong?

 

[Goofynewfie]

Obviously dont use whole tablet, crush it and use a small piece.......wheres creamy?

 

[oneandahalfshepherds]

Critique my recipe: brusselsprout stout. Also i want to use whole grain rice in my mash, thoughts?

 

[h4mmy86]

I added 10 lbs of corn sugar to my recipe but my sweet stout still tastes very dry! HELP!

 

[sweetcell]

the recipe said that the resulting beer would be very dry, but in fact it's as wet as any other beer i've made.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

"All this talk of false bottoms made me remember a story from my BDSM days..."

 

[DrunkleJon]

Apparently I have evil gnomes stealing the bear out of my primary...

Oh wait, this one already exists...

 

[tom_gamer]

What kind of bourbon do you out in your hot liquor tank to make a bourbon stout?

 

[Cromwell]

Someone critiqued my beer as having "too much hot alcohol".
Is this because the hot liquor tank is too hot?

I have a hard time filling my bottles to the top. When I remove the wand, I get oxygen in there. Help.

Can I make beer bread by putting barley in with the flour, and just letting the yeast make bread and beer at the same time?

I only had a 2-prong plug when I made my e-kettle. I put a voltmeter on the green wire and it wasn't doing anything anyway. Is this ok?

 

[beaksnbeer]

Making a 1 gallon batch but don't have time for a hour boil can I microwave instead?

 

[Brew-Dog]

My wife has a yeast infection in her bung hole... Star San?

 

[PistolsAtDawn]

My 60 minute mash was done in 59 minutes. 102% efficiency!

 

[oakbarn]

I was using my electric cement mixer as a MLT. I applied to much heat with my bush burner flame thrower and got the temp up to 160, is my mash ruined? ( and for those mechanically inclined, it warped my mixer, will it still do concrete?)

 

[hillybilly]

Can I make a 5 gallon batch in a 4 gallon kettle

 

[jglazer]

I had my dog jump over the fermentation bucket to practice dry hopping, accidentally fell in, ok to leave him in there for 5-7 days or is that too long?

 

[hillybilly]

How can I dry hop in secondary the beer is in there won't the hops get wet if I add them

 

[DrunkleJon]

I was using my electric cement mixer as a MLT. I applied to much heat with my bush burner flame thrower and got the temp up to 160, is my mash ruined? ( and for those mechanically inclined, it warped my mixer, will it still do concrete?)

Is it bad that I actually thought about how cool it would be to use a cement mixer as a MLT. The DIY McGuyver in me is pulling out his paperclips and duct tape.

 

[Varmintman]

And I was thinking that it would be cool to use the cement mixer for malting the grains.

 

[boydster]

How can I dry hop in secondary the beer is in there won't the hops get wet if I add them

Wrap them in saran wrap first. I do this all the time, they never get wet.

 

[hillybilly]

If I secondary won't the primary be offended

 

[hillybilly]

how come my auto siphon won't start on it's own

 

[Ostomo517]

Im making my first sour ale, how many lemons do I add??

 

[oakbarn]

Help, I ran out of grain and used my infant's barley cereal and I have a stuck mash that is a lot like paper mache glue. I did this Friday and now have a shovel, and axe and my baby stuck in the stuff. I have to go back to work Tuesday and SWMBO is returning tonight. Should I just depart for places unknown?

 

[Goofynewfie]

When brewing a lambic does the lamb have to be fresh or can I use frozen that I bought at the store?