Blissfully Child-Free

[bbohanon]

Go spend some time in an nursing home sometime talking to the residents; having kids is no guarantee people won't spend their final years completely alone. Adult children move too far away, die, get addicted, decide they hate you, etc, etc.

I'm childless-not-by-choice (yes, we exist) and I hate this condescending faux-concern about my old age (it's right down there with telling me I'm selfish and stunted and not a real woman). Unless they're only children of only children, everyone's got family, and unless they're complete jerks, everyone's got friends.

I do agree that having kids is no guarantee you will not die alone. It does up your odds drastically than not however.

I am also 99% sure my kids are not going to hate me or become addicts when they get older. Heck, 2 of my 3 are already grown ups and they love both of us and stay away from the those less than desirable things because we raised them right. They enjoy spending as much time as possible with us and I don't see that changing.

Sorry you feel the way that you do that this is some sort of condescending view of those that don't decide to have kids but it is what it is and is certainly not intended as such.

Maybe some of us want to roll the dice against those odds and shoot to spend our golden years spending time with our adult children and our grandchildren telling stories of our youth and just being around us as that is our "Bliss".

As far as that nursing home volunteering deal..no thanks. The only way I am talking to them is if I become a resident myself.
To loop into that as a case in point, I actually took care of my father the last year of his life to keep him home and out of one of those places. He never won any father of the year awards due to his serious life-long battle with alcoholism, but that never deterred me from patching things up with him and doing what I know he needed me to do to make his final days as comfortable as possible (and out of a nursing home). I can go to my grave knowing he did not die alone due to that and I don't ever regret that.

 

[SnakeRidge]

Oh yeah. I'm pretty sharing (not selfish, you might say) with my snacks, but my wife knows she is not touching my cheez-its. I stand in the kitchen and eat handfulls like a T-Rex. I growl and everything.

 

[bbohanon]

P.S. I like Moon-Pies since we are heading off the rails anyhow to snack foods.

Moon Pies in the microwave for 10 secs are heavenly.

 

[1977Brewer]

P.S. I like Moon-Pies since we are heading off the rails anyhow to snack foods.

Moon Pies in the microwave for 10 secs are heavenly.

Oh man, the Valero stores around here make their Moon Pies in-house. Fatty fat fat.

 

[ArkotRamathorn]

Oh yeah. I'm pretty sharing (not selfish, you might say) with my snacks, but my wife knows she is not touching my cheez-its. I stand in the kitchen and eat handfulls like a T-Rex. I growl and everything.

I'm a silent snacker, I'll eat all the cheeze-its in dead silence, with the lights off, mostly-naked, in the kitchen. I know that SWMBO won't notice that I ate all of them for at least 6 months because she will have forgotten whats in the cupboards. One of the perks of being the one who does all the cooking, I can hide everything I want for myself and she will probably never find it.

 

[iijakii]

Unfortunately you guys are not blissfully diabeetus-free.

 

[SnakeRidge]

Unfortunately you guys are not blissfully diabeetus-free.

I eat them all immediately so I'm not tempted to eat them later.

 

[masaba]

What's amazing to me reading through this thread is that the people I have learned to just ignore in forum posts about beer can be safely ignored in this thread for the same reason. A few folks seem to think that they know everything and anyone who doesn't do or think like them must be stupid, lazy, selfish, or just wrong. I'm not sure how anyone can possibly paint groups as large as "those who have kids" or "those who don't have kids" into a nice little box.

For the record, I can see both sides of this issue. I see rich folks, poor folks, lazy folks, smart folks, selfish folks, folks who are happy, folks who are lonely their whole lives, etc. on both sides of the decision of whether or not to have kids. My guess is that the happiest parents or child-free people would be pretty similar given either choice.

 

[Psylocide]

Honestly, just not a fan of snacking. I save my calories for proper meals and an unhealthy amount of beer.

What percentage of this decision is influenced by your lack of teeth, would you say?

 

[kombat]

that never deterred me from patching things up with him and doing what I know he needed me to do to make his final days as comfortable as possible (and out of a nursing home). I can go to my grave knowing he did not die alone due to that and I don't ever regret that.

You seem to have an awfully negative outlook on nursing homes. I've seen many examples of relatives who reached that stage of their lives and strongly resisted going to a nursing home. Yet in every case, within a month of making the move, they were happier than they'd been in years (not to mention healthier and more hygienic, having someone else to clean up after/around them and remind them to take their medication). They had peers their own age with whom to socialize, the home organized lots of activities to keep them busy and engaged - they wish they'd made the move sooner.

I've gotten that response before upon telling someone we don't want kids: "Who's going to take care of you when you get old?" The same person who's going to be taking care of YOU: a nurse in the old-folks home. Go visit one and you'll find plenty of residents who have children, and they visit once every few weeks (if at all). The other 99.9% of the time, they're spending their time with the same people as those who DON'T have kids: each other.

 

[Marc77]

My wife had our first son when I was 36 and talking to SWMBO about doing it all over again...seriously, why would we want to go through that mess again!?!

The OP hit the post right on the head. I do miss the sleeping in, quiet days, doing what I want when I want and going out to get some steaks for dinner only to come back with $200 of beer and damnit...I forgot the steaks.

With that said, my 15 month old toddler beast makes me want to run away. But, once I go see a movie every few months all I want to do is go back and watch him squeeze a rubber duck in wonder for a few hours. It's weird. Now other people's kids... Whole other story. I'll play with them for a few hours and here's your kid back.

As another poster said, can't paint everyone into one box.

 

[motobrewer]

I do not believe my posts are "hate filled." I don't hate anybody or anything.

saying parents got "tricked" into having kids isn't hate filled??

Last year I spent my birthday in Las Vegas with a dozen friends. I raced a Lamgorghini Gallardo on a racetrack, then went a shot a bunch of machine guns, then had a $200 dinner at a fancy restaurant with obscure craft beers. Then we partied at Club Surrender until 3:00 am, buying table service and $800 bottles of vodka. I had a blast, I'll always remember it, it was incredibly fun. I turned 39.

Here's me, on my ducati. At the time of this picture my oldest was 2 and my wife was pregnant. I was 26. What's your point?

The "money" argument with kids is a red herring. Would I have more money if i didn't have kids? Obviously. Would I have more money if I hadn't bought my ducati? Sure. Would I have more money if I hadn't crashed my ducati in turn 1 at blackhawk? Of course.

It's abundantly clear directly tie your happiness to your bank account. That's fine, i'm not judging. Some of my happiness is tied to mine. But, most of my happiness is tied to the time i spend with my family, including my kids. Most of my happiest memories involve doing things with my family.

Do you think that there are no people with kids that have more money than you?

people like you shouted me down and called me a hater.

The only time I've "shouted you down" is when you bring up the same nonsense you bring up time after time; people get "tricked" into having kids, kids is ONLY about cleaning up poop and puke (I think we've had to do this about 8 times total between the two kids), etc.

I'm sorry canada is a bad place to not have kids. I don't hear the same from people I know who don't want kids.

 

[SnakeRidge]

Welp, this thread was no Gary_Oak but it sure passed the time.

 

[slym2none]

saying parents got "tricked" into having kids isn't hate filled??

No, it really isn't. If you take it that way, I'm sorry, but that's on you.

Really, this thread isn't for you. At all. Unless you just have to have something to b!tc# about.

 

[motobrewer]

No, it really isn't. If you take it that way, I'm sorry, but that's on you.



Really, this thread isn't for you. At all. Unless you just have to have something to b!tc# about.

Maybe you just got tricked into not having kids.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I wouldnt say that a lot of parents were tricked into having kids...

I would say that a too-high number were badgered into having kids, though.

 

[iijakii]

Most are actually stork'd into having children.

 

[slym2none]

Maybe you just got tricked into not having kids.

You can use that excuse all you want. It doesn't apply to me though - that I am telling you.

 

[motobrewer]

You can use that excuse all you want. It doesn't apply to me though - that I am telling you.

What?

 

[slym2none]

You're trolling in this thread.

Everyone,

 

[motobrewer]

I honestly didn't understand what you said.

 

[slym2none]

Ok

 

[hunter_le five]

I would say that a too-high number were badgered into having kids, though.

I don't know about the "tricked" part either, but badgering, absolutely. I do get that, all the damned time.

 

[motobrewer]

I don't know about the "tricked" part either, but badgering, absolutely. I do get that, all the damned time.

Man. If people are seriously having kids on the sole reason that they got badgered into it, I weep for society.

 

[finsfan]

My girlfriends father may have actually been tricked haha. He wasn't opposed to having kids but was more focused on building his business in the early years of marriage. In his early 30's his wife was tired of waiting. One day when they were driving to an auto auction she decided to let him know she hadnt been taking birth control and threw it out the window. My girlfriends brother was born 8 months later.

Very entertaining thread btw.

 

[iijakii]

Man. If people are seriously having kids on the sole reason that they got badgered into it, I weep for society.

At least that means one person wanted kids. Better than "hey, lets try it without a condom. Just the tip... just to see how it feels"

 

[hunter_le five]

Man. If people are seriously having kids on the sole reason that they got badgered into it, I weep for society.

I do that anyway.

 

[ArkotRamathorn]

Most are actually stork'd into having children.

Wait, I detect sarcasm. Are you suggesting that babies don't come by stork?

 

[ChefRex]

Thank god I didn't have kids, I gave her a check and she went away, life done nothing but get better since

 

[BlkWater_brewer]

The thread title caught my eye and peaked my curiosity. It then proceeded to irritate me me to no end, then ended with a little better understanding of people and their choices. I can safely say that raising two daughters was so worth it I would never even dream about doing anything different if given the chance. I am now playing granddaddy daycare for my older daughters daughter. Come 12 week from next Friday I will be doing the same for my new grandson. Have I made sacrifices, you bet I have. By quitting my job and doing the daycare thing, I halved my income. I'm still the winner though.

As far as being selfish, I don't think that is a fair label. To weigh the ability to play, buy "toys" and do what I want, when I want against having children that could impact those choices is not selfish. It is short sighted and at the risk of rustling feathers, more a sign of immaturity than selfishness. Before you get your panties in a bunch - I don't think all people should have children and I respect that. But to listen to the I'm not having kids because I want this or I want that. Well those aren't valid reasons, those are justifications. Part of me would think twice about children given the state of the country today, nothing to do with costs though.

Mark my words, all of my childhood classmates, that for whatever reason decided to remain childless - regret that decision when they reach my age. That's my unofficial survey and my opinion and my 2 cents.

 

[Cider123]

I have two kids and they are driving me crazy. Especially the older boy. I am also grumpy, aged beyond my years, and poor.

 

[Taiin]

Pretty much my thoughts on pregnancy and children.

 

[Roadliner]

Why is it any time anyone talks about enjoying not having kids, parents always have to tell them how great it is, and how their choice is wrong. Well it's different when it's yours! oh once you have them you'll love it! You're selfish or immature because you want different things in life than I do!?

It's an inarguable fact that you have to make sacrifices and changes to be a parent. Those are sacrifices that some people don't want to make. Or maybe they simply don't like kids. It's not selfish to know yourself. It would be more so to have children and not be all-in to them.

Some people want to start a business, some people don't. It's just a difference in life goals.

I've never wanted kids. Not once have I said I want them. Never have I planned on having them. But hey.. sometimes birth control doesn't work... And now I'm going to have a little girl. So.. my goals and plans in life have changed. It's now onto trying to be the best damn daddy that I can be, and raising my kid to be awesome. And hopefully when she' 30 yrs old she'll look back and think that I'm as cool of a dad as My dad was.

It's just a matter of to each thier own.

 

[Roadliner]

And Cheesy Puffs are far superior to cheez its

 

[SnakeRidge]

And Cheesy Puffs are far superior to cheez its

Two great tastes that taste great together.

 

[hunter_le five]

In a suspiciously relevant turn of events, I just found out SWMBO is two weeks late.

Time to break out the piss test.

 

[masaba]

Why is it any time anyone talks about enjoying not having kids, parents always have to tell them how great it is, and how their choice is wrong.

Any choice you make in life there is someone there to tell you that it was wrong. Most people just ignore those folks.

And I seriously doubt that all, or even most, parents will tell people without children how their choice was wrong. Unless of course, the only people you talk to are on internet forums.

 

[Hoppity]

WC Fields:
Q: "Do you like children?"
WC Fields: "I do if they're properly cooked."
(from Tillie and Gus )

 

[Roadliner]

Any choice you make in life there is someone there to tell you that it was wrong. Most people just ignore those folks.

And I seriously doubt that all, or even most, parents will tell people without children how their choice was wrong. Unless of course, the only people you talk to are on internet forums.

I dealt with several of the people telling me it was wrong. No they don't say "you are wrong." But when they are telling you that you should change what you want because of this or that.. that is saying that you are making the wrong decision.

 

[Zuljin]

Cheez-its suck. You want a cheese snack? Eat cheese.