Mindless blather before I get hitched

[CreamyGoodness]

It is my last day in the office for a couple weeks. Likely, the next rant after this one I will be typing with a black tungston ring on my left hand. Thats just weird. Also, I am literally the only person in my office. I could strip to my altogether and run around shouting "hey have you seen one of these before?!" and nothing would happen. I wont... but I could.

So, here's the game. One actor, celebrity, or musician that you feel like you probably should like, but you hate for some reason.

Everyone knows I want to hit Beyonce with a salmon. I dont know why, other than that epileptic fit she does that she calls "dancing." I mean, she's lovely and hasn't done anything that should make me mad. And yet, I wanna hear that wet slapping noise when she starts to break down "put a ring on it" as my post-rigor fish carenes off her head.

Another is Zoey Dechanel. Everything about me would lead one to believe I have her on my list of celebs who make me stutter just below Bjork and Natalie Portman. And yet I hate her. I wouldnt watch that "New Girl" show unless you paid me and I got to do MST3K commentary over it. With her I have a reason though. I'm on to her. I've dated too many closet b!@ches to not be. Behind those pretty blue eyes I can just tell that she's the woman that would ruin your life and think it was funny. F*$k a fruit basket Zoey.

For this same reason I go back and forth on my take of Paula Dean. Maybe she really is that nice. Somehow I doubt it. I keep thinking of Mom from Futurama.

So, brewers, what say you? Got someone you cant stand but feel guilty about it?

 

[bob1852]

Another is Zoey Dechanel.

If you need an iPhone to tell you that it's raining outside, you deserve to DIAF.

EDIT: oh, and it's Zooey.

 

[JeffoC6]

I fugging HATE Jack Black. I love silly humor. I love dirty humor. And I love to laugh. Yet, something about Jack Black sends me off the deep end. I guess it all starts with the "music comedy" thing. Music is my first love, and there's nothing I like doing more than exploring new music, and that feeling you get when you discover something new that you adore. Then comes Jack fugging Black with a joke about how a hampster runs up his ass, all while strumming a D chord. F him and F that other guy that he plays with.

His movies may be hilarious, but I've never seen them because I'm too pissed off at him for ruining what music should be. First impressions are a b*tch, Jackie Boy.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Jack Black for me.


The list of thing I could do to Zooey is endless. Nom. Nom. Nom.

 

[beersteiner2345]

Female: Paula Dean

Male: Bono

I would love nothing more than to take a metal folding chair to each of their faces.

 

[Goofynewfie]

Jerry Seinfeld,don't find the guy funny at all, actually quite annoying.
BTW creamy, my wife's cousin has toured with Bjork, shes actually pretty cool from what I hear

 

[weirdboy]

Zooey Deschanel does kind of bug me, too. But mostly because of that awful cotton commercial she did that I had to watch repeatedly. My wife was watching some TV series (I can't remember what, now) and that ad came on every. single. time. there was a commercial break. For 20+ episodes. I will never forget that horrible off-tune caterwauling.





If I had to pick one celebrity I cannot stand, however, it would have to be Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy, STOP TRYING TO BE FUNNY, IT ISN'T WORKING!

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Jerry Seinfeld,don't find the guy funny at all, actually quite annoying.
BTW creamy, my wife's cousin has toured with Bjork, shes actually pretty cool from what I hear

hehe, a friend of mine served her a cappucino when he was waiting tables. Her husband's cappucino had an unside-down star in the foam, while she had zigzags. In adorable fashion she asked her husband if she could get "the satanic one" and clapped her hands.

Everything I have ever heard about her as a person and as an artist has been positive, unless you happen to be harrassing her in an airport or attacking her with an acid bomb.

God I love her.

 

[static]

I watch Chopped on the Food Network a lot. I would love to pee in Amanda Feitag's entree. She acts like that stick got in there sideways.

 

[H-ost]

Any "barbie doll" princess in movies/real life... I have dated enough of them that just looking at them makes me sick to my stomach. It sounds silly to compare to a CG movie but if you have ever seen that Rapunzel movie that came out 1-2 years ago, that is EXACTLY what my last barbie girlfriend looked like.

 

[kpr121]

Sometimes Jimmy Fallon can be hilarious (I like some of his impersonations), but more often than not he’s telling jokes that even the electronic laughtrack feels uncomfortable giggling about.

I might get ripped for this but I got a thing for Zooey. Don’t know what it is, but I watch New Girl with the wife pretty frequently.

The female celebrity that I would love to smack in the face with a 15 pound 750 degrees cast iron skillet for no apparent reason is Keira Knightly. Especially in all of those god-awful Pirates movies. I think she is smoking hot, just can’t stand her when she says something stupid on there like “HOIST THE COLOURS!”. Chelsea Handler is probably a close second.

Male version (I’ll avoid Johnny Depp for the double Pirates reference) would probably go to Jerry Seinfeld or that doofus Ryan Reynolds.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

If you need an iPhone to tell you that it's raining outside, you deserve to DIAF.

EDIT: oh, and it's Zooey.

Hehehe fair enough. Come on, though, I know you got one!

 

[static]

Oh ya and there really should be an official "No Pants Day"

 

[bob1852]

Hehehe fair enough. Come on, though, I know you got one!

Nah, I try to avoid actors, celebrities, or musicians solely for this reason. I just hate them all. Especially Alec Baldwin.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I might get ripped for this but I got a thing for Zooey. Don’t know what it is, but I watch New Girl with the wife pretty frequently.

Oh she's super hot, I can't even deny it. Another thing that made me really solidify my hatred was she was a guest judge on Top Chef Masters.

"Let me see, I'm a vegan with allergies to certain vegetables and there are a couple things I just HATE TO EAT! *giggle!*"

 

[kpr121]

Oh she's super hot, I can't even deny it. Another thing that made me really solidify my hatred was she was a guest judge on Top Chef Masters.

"Let me see, I'm a vegan with allergies to certain vegetables and there are a couple things I just HATE TO EAT! *giggle!*"

Ugh vegan? That might change my mind about her.... nah still hot!

 

[Goofynewfie]

Creamy if you like Bjork, go yo youtube and look up Tanya Tagaq , that's my wife's cousin. I think you might like her, would post a link for you but I'm doing this from my phone

 

[kpr121]

Congrats BTW

 

[SharonaZamboni]

Congrats, Creamy!

I hate Nancy Grace. Can't stand to look at her snarky old witchy face. She's an inflammatory hag who spouts BS and personal opinion like it's gospel truth. She blabs stuff that hasn't even been verified.
I hate Jack Black, too. He just ain't funny.
I don't want to get started on Celine Dion. How she is compelled to share her God-given, incredible talent with the world. And her dirty old dog of a husband is creepy, too.

 

[urbanmyth]

Steve Carell and Will Ferrell. Can't stand either one of them.

Females would have to be Kate Hudson and Cameron Diaz. I just can't get over the feeling I get that they are exactly like the bitchy, self entitled prisses they play so often in movies.

 

[bmud0314]

Steve Carell and Will Ferrell. Can't stand either one of them.

THANK YOU. I was reading the earlier responses thinking "gee, the only actor/actress I hate is will ferrell", but I always catch crap for hating on him. Seriously. His ONE CHARACTER isn't even funny. I can't freakin stand him. What makes it worse is that his movies are targeted for my demographic (26 yr old male), so everyone my age loves his crap. I can't stand it.

 

[sudsmonkey]

Jim Carey. I hate him. He does the same character over and over. Steve Carelle is a close second. Hate the entire cast from Jersey Shore. Brett Michaels. That hateful couple from What Not To Wear. Guy Fietti!!!! He looks like an idiots with his sunglasses on the back of his head, bleached, spiked hair, that stupid sweatband. Tom Cruise, with his three facial expressions. The kid that played Harry Potter. Justin Beiber. Mariah Carey. Angelina Jolie. ALL of the Kardashians. Nickelback, and that one song they do. You know.... the one they play over and over to fill up every album they ever did?

Man....... I didn't know I was so full of hate. Time for a beer, I think.

 

[Wus67]

+1 for Will Ferral...his "comedies" make me want to scratch out my eyes and rip out my ear drums, they're so terrible. And I get **** for saying that, people just don't understand good acting. As for fems... Anne Hathaway, I used to think she was really hot, then I got a glimpse of her real personality, she puts the "u" in c#nt.

 

[DrewBrew08]

Ursula in the Little Mermaid..... Hate that B*TCH!

 

[H-ost]

Ursula in the Little Mermaid..... Hate that B*TCH!

After reading that rant above, this made me laugh pretty damn hard....

 

[CreamyGoodness]

By the way, has anyone else noticed that some of the mods and regulars here havent posted on this thread? Just goes to show how many people truly are nicer than I am... I'm looking at YOU Yoop :fro:

 

[gratus fermentatio]

I could strip to my altogether and run around shouting "hey have you seen one of these before?!"

^Now that's funny!^

As far as celebs/etc... I hate Bono. If that rat-bastard wants to play politics, he should do so in his own country & stay the hell outta mine. I never liked U2; not even when they were new & weren't spouting their crap.
And no, I don't feel like I "should" like Bono or U2, nor do I feel "guilty" about hating him/them.

And Gayle King; ya, Oprah's pal. She's got a gig on CBS This Morning, she has ZERO talent, very little experience, and loves to say "Guess what?"
Ya, all the signs of a great journalist. Ranks right up there with "How does that make you feel?" The ONLY reason she's there is the fact that she's Oprah's pal. Apparently either CBS execs never heard the word "Meritocracy," or Oprah had them by the short & curlies.
Again, I don't feel guilty about hating the *****.

Just remember, you asked.
Regards, GF.

 

[OhCrap]

^Now that's funny!^

As far as celebs/etc... I hate Bono. If that rat-bastard wants to play politics, he should do so in his own country & stay the hell outta mine. I never liked U2; not even when they were new & weren't spouting their crap.
And no, I don't feel like I "should" like Bono or U2, nor do I feel "guilty" about hating him/them.


Just remember, you asked.
Regards, GF.

I like U2 but you can have him. we don't want him here at home spouting politics and all that other "I've got nothing better to do so I'll piss people off cause I can" rubbish

 

[Goofynewfie]

Apparently either CBS execs never heard the word "Meritocracy," or Oprah had them by the short & curlies.

I always thought doctor phil must have a video of some of the network executive with a goat