The hand in the pants was butt, as explained to me. Although at this point it should be noted, that all my info on that is from her directly. She told me it happened and that she tried to stop it. Though her attempts to stop it sounded like they were half hearted at best. I appreciate all the input and will take some of it into consideration moving forward, but will likely stay out of the conversation moving forward. I don't really want to add any more fuel to this thing here and need to stop worrying about what you all say and start applying it to moving toward some sort of resolution with her, be it good or bad.
Oh come on man. You started this thread with very little info, asking for advice. Then of course got the advice to split (for the most part). Then continue to be very vague with a lot of the information. Now you're not even going to give us the conclusion?
You're in a tough spot, no doubt. I don't fault you for not sharing everything on here (although, for the most part, you have almost complete anonymity), but it's kind of like the newbs asking for advice about their beer. We can't help without the full story. Same here. We can only make guesses based on the information provided.
And from that information it honestly seems like she's cheating on you. But as others have said, it honestly seems like you might not be doing your best in the relationship either, as far as total, up front honesty is concerned.
Nobody here can claim to be in the perfect relationship, certainly not myself. But the one thing I am with my wife is brutally honest (even if that means we have some shouting matches from time to time). There's not enough time in life to bumble around without fully expressing the way you feel. You've been doing her and yourself a disservice by not fully expressing the way this behavior affects you.
Now as far as the cheating part goes, if I had some pretty solid evidence like you have, the first thing I would do was keep my mouth shut until I had 100% proof. And the way I would do that is by hiring a PI on her next business trip. Until you have 100% proof, if she's just a cheating manipulator, she will find a way to weasel her way out of it.
But seriously dude, even if you don't give us any more information about her escapades, at least give us a conclusion! It's like going to a movie, and then having to get up and leave right as the climax is about reached (not necessarily any pun intended?), never having any clue how it concluded.