Funny things you've overheard about beer

CornyKegs 728
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I tried to take a pic of this, but I was driving. I saw a vanity plate today that said "MLR TME". I love stupid vanity plates, almost as much as I love Miller Lite. It was perfect.
 
lowtones84 said:
Haha two pounds of black patent...holy s***. The other recipes were bad but...wow.
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Seriously, everything that's been quoted from that book sounds so horribly off base that one wonders if it was a parody piece of some sort.

Somebody needs to track down the author - and if he's not dirt-napping invite him to HBT.

Cheers! ;)
 
day_trippr said:
Seriously, everything that's been quoted from that book sounds so horribly off base that one wonders if it was a parody piece of some sort.

Somebody needs to track down the author - and if he's not dirt-napping invite him to HBT.

Cheers! ;)
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Looking at his Amazon page he published a whole slew of wine and beer making books. This is the first one about beer (1965) but there's another one that includes beer recipes from the 70's and another from the 80's. Would be interesting to track them down and compare how homebrewing developed during the dark ages. As far as I can tell his last book was from 1983, so he's probably long long long dead. Really makes you appreciate Papazian considering how bad things were before.

Also think about how much things have changed in the last decade. For a LONG time the idea of "as soon as primary fermentation is done, get your beer the hell off the yeast cake ASAP and straight into a secondary" (the old 1/2/3 rule of thumb) prevailed and it sticks around in the horrible advice on beer kits where there's no secondary so it tells you to get your beer into bottles ASAP, which is just dumb and is still published on commercial products today.

Same with hop schedules. They've changed a LOT in just the last few years. The amount of hops people are putting in a 30 or 20 minutes has nosedived in the recipes I've seen and there's been a massive surge in late/whirlpool/dry hopping. And I don't think people have quite figured out the specific trade-offs between too much heat for too long boiling away a lot of the hoppy flavor goodness and too little heat for not enough time not extracting enough of the good stuff from the hops. Probably in ten years conventional wisdom about how to use hops will be a good bit different than today, especially as high AA hops that work well as late additions become more prevalent at reasonable prices so efficiency becomes less important.

Also except for the insane overuse of black patent malt (did that term used to mean something else?) I don't think the recipes are QUITE as bad as they seem. There are some recipes on this site for hop wine, which is basically hops + sugar + water + yeast in the fermenter. If that's drinkable then doing basically that with few pounds of malt for a bit of beer flavor despite the fermentables being mostly sugar should be eatable. At least he uses plenty of hops, so it'll have some flavor. I'd take his crappy homebrews over a lot of commercial beers sold today.
 
It sure is a good thing base malts were invented in the last 10 years so we don't have to use sugar as fermentables like the Indians did in their beer
 
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Billy-Klubb said:
the other day at work: "When are you going to have a party with all your home made beer?"

pssshhh! like I'm gonna share!
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Actually you should share... come back to your roots. With free beer. And on the other side of the river.

**** it, just bring some beer over. You know Morrell's smells less bad than PM.
 
See, this is why homebrewtalk posters need to be owners of liquor stores. I would separate all of my display cases into style categories as opposed to by commercial brand name! Wouldn't that be so much simpler?? It seems so to me.

As to funny things I heard about beer this week, a coworker is celebrating his birthday and was super excited to go to a local watering hole to get 2 for 1 draft beer. he did not tell me that the only draft beers this place had were Budweiser light and Miller Lite! Oh, the horror!
 
WilliamSlayer said:
See, this is why homebrewtalk posters need to be owners of liquor stores. I would separate all of my display cases into style categories as opposed to by commercial brand name! Wouldn't that be so much simpler?? It seems so to me.
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That's actually what my bottle shop does... really nice.
 
WilliamSlayer said:
See, this is why homebrewtalk posters need to be owners of liquor stores. I would separate all of my display cases into style categories as opposed to by commercial brand name! Wouldn't that be so much simpler?? It seems so to me.

As to funny things I heard about beer this week, a coworker is celebrating his birthday and was super excited to go to a local watering hole to get 2 for 1 draft beer. he did not tell me that the only draft beers this place had were Budweiser light and Miller Lite! Oh, the horror!
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Dude. Bud Light. It's Bud. Says so on the can.

Miller Lite is a Fine Pilsner Beer. I'd drink 2fers of it for days.
 
TheCADJockey said:
When I worked at the steakhouse, my buddy and I would get home and kill a Lunchbox.

Lunchbox = pounder of Miller high life + pounder of Sparks energy drink
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My brother and I went to a "gourmet" donut shop/bar in Austin last weekend for lunch. Instead of regular flavored donuts, they sell all kinds of crazy ass frou-frou varieties, plus donut sandwiches, donut burgers, salads with bits of donut in them, donut chicken-and-dumplings, etc.

I saw a sign advertising the day's special: "The Happy Meal - $6"

"What is that?" I ask the barstress.

"A shot of whiskey and a beer."

I got a Happy Meal for lunch. He got diabeetus.

Edit: It was macrolager and well whiskey. I regret nothing.
 
hunter_la5 said:
My brother and I went to a "gourmet" donut shop/bar in Austin last weekend for lunch. Instead of regular flavored donuts, they sell all kinds of crazy ass frou-frou varieties, plus donut sandwiches, donut burgers, salads with bits of donut in them, donut chicken-and-dumplings, etc.

I saw a sign advertising the day's special: "The Happy Meal - $6"

"What is that?" I ask the barstress.

"A shot of whiskey and a beer."

I got a Happy Meal for lunch. He got diabeetus.

Edit: It was macrolager and well whiskey. I regret nothing.
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Can't just call a boilermaker a boilermaker?
 
hunter_la5 said:
I saw a sign advertising the day's special: "The Happy Meal - $6"

"What is that?" I ask the barstress.

"A shot of whiskey and a beer."
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That's the kind of Happy Meal I could go for. Two of those at lunch every day would make the work day go by much more smoothly.


1977Brewer said:
Can't just call a boilermaker a boilermaker?
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Not if you drink them separately. ;)
 
I brought my SNPA in to work... forgot my iPod in my car.

I had to go all the way downstairs to get it.

FML.
 
TheCADJockey said:
iPod... people other than mom's that jog still use those?

Isn't that what a phone is for? It's 2014 dude. Get with the time.
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lg-dare-vx9700-verizon-wireless.jpg
 
1977Brewer said:
Can't just call a boilermaker a boilermaker?
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It's only a Boilermaker in Indiana, the rest of you can find another name thanks.

It's sad that I need to do this but here it goes....

This is a joke... I totally understand that boilermakers have nothing to do with Indiana, thank you have a nice day.
 
I remember introducing a fellow engineering student to Boilermakers when I was in university. In our case, it was Jack and whatever crappy lager was on tap. He wandered off at some point, and we didn't run into him again until late the next day. He didn't remember anything after leaving the bar, and told us the first thing he did remember was the cops waking him up that morning under the York Street off ramp from the Gardiner Expressway.

We both lived in the same residence on campus, and we were drinking at a campus bar. No one could figure out why he wound up a mile south of both spots.

He swore he would never drink with me again... and he never did.
 

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