Don't Do That.

[Murphys_Law]

Plan a brew day and make plans to get your yeast on Sat so you can make the starter...end up at a very large cigar festival drinking beer and smoking cigars with a few friends instead, pushing the brew day back ~1 week.

Don't do...what the heck...DO THAT!!

 

[seatazzz]

Welcome to my world.


I am lucky, actually. I spent my first two years in state living quite literally three blocks from one of them; even now I'm still only about a five minute drive.

Where was the shindig? It's a great time of year to be up in the mountains of Idaho!

Wedding was at White Willow Estate in Star. Beautiful venue, although it's a working horse farm as well and the flies were legion.

 

[seatazzz]

Wish you had posted this LAST week.... Yeah, had the same great idea of unclogging the dip tube this weekend. Don't do that.

I wound up having to do it again, but the next time the "smart" side of my brain kicked in and I blew out the dip tube with co2 instead. No mess, no fuss, and beer poured great. All you have to do is attach your black disconnect to the co2 line (just like force carbing) and give it a good blast, that should do the trick. Of COURSE I couldn't think of that in the first place....

 

[brewski09]

I think the more eye opening one would be the one of ER docs, nurses and EMTs (should such a thing exist). Every so often you hear rumors of what they've seen.

It exists

 

[brhenrio]

3 homebrew shops is little?
we have only 4 in All of FINLAND, none in my "state", closest one is over 200 km away..

Thats how far i have to drive to get to the closest one for me too! And it is well within my province. (Canada)

 

[Black Island Brewer]

And I have three LHBSs within 20 minutes of home, and still have to order Crisp Pale Chocolate online...

 

[Shade]

No doubt somewhere in the thread already but don't leave your fermenter tap open when you put your sanitiser in. Especially if you're in the kitchen. And if you do leave it open, don't be busy with your brew so you don't notice until several litres have emptied on to the bench and floor.

Last night's brew went pretty well other than that.

 

[Jwin]

"Hey honey. I sanitized the kitchen" is way better than wort everywhere. Many many mops and paper towels.

 

[catdaddy66]

Planned a holiday brew weekend and asked a friend to come look at my kitchen sink as I was having small issue with flow in my faucet. Hours later the kitchen looks like a Houston residence and no lights are working, throwing the entire weekend's plans into doubt.

Don't do that.

 

[Jwin]

Homebrewers: We inadvertently have the cleanest kitchen floors.

 

[seatazzz]

Homebrewers: We inadvertently have the cleanest kitchen floors.

That's why I moved out to the garage...nobody cares if the floor is sticky (that's why God made kitty litter) and I was tired of mopping the kitchen floor every brew day. BTW and OT, kitty litter is a great fly deterrent.

 

[mxstar21]

I'm boilin' up my starter in the flask.
Oh, I forgot to mix in some yeast nutrient.
I'll just do that now...

Don't do that.

I did that last night on the stovetop....

 

[oujens]

When sampling beer from your corny keg fermenter, don't leave a picnic tap with a short hose on when pressured at 10 psi. I guess I can check cleaning fridge and hosing the garage floor off my list of chores. I might have half a keg left now, thankfully.

 

[seatazzz]

When sampling beer from your corny keg fermenter, don't leave a picnic tap with a short hose on when pressured at 10 psi. I guess I can check cleaning fridge and hosing the garage floor off my list of chores. I might have half a keg left now, thankfully.

That does bite the large one. I just made myself a picnic tap, I'll remember your words of wisdom!

 

[Ike]

Don't ever say to yourself: " X number of kegs should be plenty; I can't imagine ever needing more than that at one time."

Don't do that.

 

[Pkrd]

Don't ever say to yourself: " X number of kegs should be plenty; I can't imagine ever needing more than that at one time."

Don't do that.

Its X=Y+1 lim Z

X= Number of kegs you should have
Y= Number of kegs you currently have
Z= Number of kegs you can own without falling over them while you brew.

 

[Jwin]

Its X=Y+1 lim Z

X= Number of kegs you should have
Y= Number of kegs you currently have
Z= Number of kegs you can own without falling over them while you brew.

X=Y+1 Lim Z(+/-S)
S=SWMBO

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

Its X=Y+1 lim Z

X= Number of kegs you should have
Y= Number of kegs you currently have
Z= Number of kegs you can own without falling over them while you brew.

If you brew 10-gallon batches, it's X=Y+2 lim Z lol...

 

[Pkrd]

X=Y+1 Lim Z(+/-S)
S=SWMBO

The S limit is a local plateau. S usually reduces to zero once that plateau is reached.

 

[Ike]

The S limit is a local plateau. S usually reduces to zero once that plateau is reached.

SEE? The past handful of posts clearly show why I failed. I had NO idea algebra was involved. I was screwed from the get-go.

 

[seatazzz]

ALGEBRA???? Oh no I just had a flashback. Bad enough I had to bone up on chemistry and basic math for this, throw in a, b, x, y, z, and all their friends and I may as well just go home. Oh look, beer.......

 

[Jwin]

ALGEBRA???? Oh no I just had a flashback. Bad enough I had to bone up on chemistry and basic math for this, throw in a, b, x, y, z, and all their friends and I may as well just go home. Oh look, beer.......

How about this word problem:
Billy needs refreshment. He has (1)B, (1)R and is seeking Ahhh. How does Billy get refreshment?
Answer:
A+h²=B+E²+R

 

[Temptd2]

How about this word problem:
Billy needs refreshment. He has (1)B, (1)R and is seeking Ahhh. How does Billy get refreshment?
Answer:
A+h²=B+E²+R

LOL! Now THAT is the kind of math I can support!

 

[SoCal-Doug]

Put the silicone hose on the top rim of the keggle to mash in, then forget to put it back in, then start the wort pump.

Don't do that

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

The S limit is a local plateau. S usually reduces to zero once that plateau is reached.

I upgraded S to a younger/hotter model, and this one actually drinks beer.

Highly recommended! But you can't have mine.

 

[balrog]

You have to alter the equation to include H(), factoring in the number of kegs unknown/unseen by S

 

[Kee]

If you only have one scale, and no extra batteries, don't wait until the last minute to weigh your hop additions, only to find that the scale doesn't work.

 

[MorBeer83]

Don't let your sparge tun dry open in the wood shed. Or at least don't forget to control the valve too before the brewday starts, if you don't want to open the kettle once you are in boil to clean it just to discover some bugs floating inside and realize you just made 5 gallons of bugs tea and sparge with it. Sic.

 

[phug]

Don't use your hop sack to act as a makeshift plug in the basement sink while chilling your wort.

The sink had no strainer and after a few minutes the force of the water pushed the sack down the drain and into the piping under the concrete floor. 40 minutes of snaking and pulling apart plumbing finally retrieved it and cleared the clog.

 

[brewski09]

Its X=Y+1 lim Z



X= Number of kegs you should have

Y= Number of kegs you currently have

Z= Number of kegs you can own without falling over them while you brew.

X>Z at all times

 

[MaryB]

Do you know how many bugs, bug parts, mouse and rat feces is in malt barley? LOL a couple floaters won't hurt a thing!

Don't let your sparge tun dry open in the wood shed. Or at least don't forget to control the valve too before the brewday starts, if you don't want to open the kettle once you are in boil to clean it just to discover some bugs floating inside and realize you just made 5 gallons of bugs tea and sparge with it. Sic.

 

[MaryB]

Made a new line for my keg cleaner, was in a hurry so I hooked it up and turned on the pump... yup I forgot to tighten the nut on the disconnect and sprayed BLC all over the kitchen floor... hour of mopping later...

 

[Ike]

Keg a batch. Then, drop it in the keezer and hook up the gas and, LIKE A GOOD LITTLE BOY, leave it completely alone for two weeks to carb and clear. Then, pour a glass. THEN, realize that while you did turn on the gas line, you forgot to set the regulator. Retire back to the house to enjoy your completely flat beer.

Don't do that.

 

[beekeeperman]

Was aerating my cooled wort by pouring back and forth from boil pot to fermenting bucket.
Sunglasses over my ball cap visor fell into the boil pot and sank to the bottom.
Fished them out of the almost empty boil pot just before they went into the fermenter.
Take your sunglasses off your hat when performing this procedure.
Beer came out fine.

 

[Jwin]

Was aerating my cooled wort by pouring back and forth from boil pot to fermenting bucket.
Sunglasses over my ball cap visor fell into the boil pot and sank to the bottom.
Fished them out of the almost empty boil pot just before they went into the fermenter.
Take your sunglasses off your hat when performing this procedure.
Beer came out fine.

Obviously, you need to post what kind if beer it is so we can spend 4 pages coming up with names for it.

 

[kev211]

Obviously, you need to post what kind if beer it is so we can spend 4 pages coming up with names for it.

The brand of sunglasses may or may not help as well

 

[alexnova]

Add a late addition of DME to the boil, then walk away.

Don't do that.

 

[Ike]

DO NOT mention to SWMBO that you're splitting the current batch of 5gal of cider into two separate kegs, and at the same time suggest you have a couple of your usual cider-drinking buddies over to help with taste-testing during kegging and backsweetening so you don't have to make adjustments to carbed kegs later on.

...this will very quickly mutate into a ten-person "cider tasting party" complete with dinner where everyone coming is expecting finished cider tasting instead of warm, flat cider testing.

 

[cmac62]

After cleaning out your keggerator/keezer, forget to put the temp control probe back into the freezer, don't do that. Especially if you don't want to freeze your Octoberfest beer two days before it is to be judged.

 

[daveMN]

Made some labels for my yeast slurries and attached the labels using my kid's glue stick, then put them in the bottom of my keezer. The humidity dissolved the glue and I checked later found labels sitting on the bottom of the keezer and unlabeled jars. I think I figured them out, but there's at least one jar that has a question mark written on it with a sharpie. Don't do that.