Don't Do That.

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Here's a new one from this weekend:

When fermenting in a Corny keg for the first time, DO NOT have a brain fart and connect your QD blowoff tube to the OUT post. (maybe in my little pea brain I was subconsciously thinking "yup, out - let the CO2 OUT").

Estimating about 2 gallons of beer lost by the time I got home from work the next day to check on it. :(
At least I was using a 5 gallon bucket for the blowoff and not my usual small bucket or much of that would have been on the floor.
 
ShareBrewing said:
Brew outdoors on a bitterly cold day, misplace your usual insulation wrap for the kettle, and try to impromptu insulation with bed sheets and a fuzzy wool blanket.

Walked away for 1 minute and came back to the entire 16 gal brew kettle up in flames. Don't do that.

Tip: always have a water hose or large bucket of water on hand... life saver. And dispose of the evidence quickly. The SWMBO never found out...
Click to expand...

I'm telling!! :p
 
Don't make a wind block out of cardboard and a bottling bucket and walk away to make the kid a grilled cheese! Looked outside to see my wind block had been blown against burner and was on fire, ran out the door threw the flaming cardboard on burn pit and looked at bottling bucket to see it had a giant melted hole in it.
 
Don't put a new faucet in the keezer and put together a line from the keg to the faucet without first checking that both the swivel nut connection to the QD and the QD top aren't tight.

Don't do that. Unless you want beer spraying everywhere. Worst part is it's not the first time I've done that. Slow learner.
 
Don't connect the liquid line to the faucet and qd and then connect to the keg without first checking to make sure that you installed the faucet. TIL that my beer still tastes alright when it's sucked out of my T-shirt haha
 
Don't assume that you don't need hose clamps because the hose kit you bought with quick disconnects didn't have any. And when hose pops off barbs don't forget to close all valves as the recirculation of the mash starts to siphon back onto the floor....
 
When your kegerator starts tripping the GFCI outlet, don't immediately assume it's the outlet. Replacing the outlet, to the tune of $23 and a couple hours of time, and no change.

Then, don't assume it's the controller, because spending a couple hours fiddling around with swapping controllers will prove that they're not to blame, either.

Don't wait until the end to blame the fridge. I think condensation may have gotten somewhere it shouldn't. I'm hoping a few days of drying out will help, and better moisture control in the future may prevent re-occurrence. We shall see... in the meantime, we'll be playing "musical kegerator vs. ferm chamber" with the one functioning unit in the place...
 
Spend 3 months lagering a pilsner. Put it into the keg, and realize you forgot to clean it from the hefeweizen you made last time.

Don't do that.
 
Don't leave a 6 gallon bucket filled with star San sitting on your brewstand in the garage. Wife went out to to laundry and came running back in. Turns out, hamper+gravity=2 hours of mopping and drying your garage. Ya definitely don't do that.


Good news though... Floors are sanitized
 
Get up super early for the maiden brew on the new stand, only to find that the burners aren't quite up to snuff and normal 5 hour brewday turns into 9. Then, once the decision has been made to move to the old camp stove, set up your timer and fall asleep in your chair without noticing the "start" button was never pushed on the timer. Resulting in a realllllly long boil for FWH and volume waaaay below what was expected. Also what was supposed to be 5 gallons of House IPA will now probably be 4 or less gallons of Strong House IPA when we were trying to keep the ABV in check after my recent Pliny clone (8.5%, can only have two before I start hearing the dog's thoughts out loud). Yeah, don't do that.
 
Don't put your immersion chiller into your boiling wort, turn the water tap on and, when nothing gets out, look into the hose.

Turns out water eventually got out really really hot and splashed my face! Thankfully the hose was small and I had my glasses on...

Seriously, don't do it!
 
guindilla said:
Don't put your immersion chiller into your boiling wort, turn the water tap on and, when nothing gets out, look into the hose.

Turns out water eventually got out really really hot and splashed my face! Thankfully the hose was small and I had my glasses on...

Seriously, don't do it!
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tumblr_nozabjWwM21ro8ysbo1_r1_500.gif
 
...or not. Don't try brewing on your virgin brew stand, find out it won't heat high enough for boil, move everything back to old burner, and fall asleep in the mama chair. Didn't hear the timer and it boiled for about 2 hours. Said what the hell and finished it. Just tapped it today and it's one of my best. Bittering hop was Simcoe, thought I would have bitter beer face times infinity but it's delicious. So, maybe, do that.
 
daveMN said:
Had a new one for me last night. I had my keg CO2 purged and was going to start racking from my carboy. I had the great idea to suck on the gas in post to start on the siphon. Sucked in a lung full of CO2. Don't do that!
Click to expand...

That's actually a pretty sweet setup; for my part, I would just attach the liquid post connector to the end of my autosiphon, and that would solve the problem.

However, I almost always seem to end up with a little more volume in my carboy than my keg holds...I'm sure I would routinely end up with beer coming out the gas post! Don't do that either, I suppose!
 
biochemedic said:
That's actually a pretty sweet setup; for my part, I would just attach the liquid post connector to the end of my autosiphon, and that would solve the problem.

However, I almost always seem to end up with a little more volume in my carboy than my keg holds...I'm sure I would routinely end up with beer coming out the gas post! Don't do that either, I suppose!
Click to expand...

I used an autosiphon previously like you described, this was my first time with this method.
The keg overfilled that night too, but just barely. I had the PRV pulled up and it overflowed there. Usually, I can​ watch the condensation rise on the outside of the keg, as long as I cold crash beforehand.
 
biochemedic said:
That's actually a pretty sweet setup; for my part, I would just attach the liquid post connector to the end of my autosiphon, and that would solve the problem.

However, I almost always seem to end up with a little more volume in my carboy than my keg holds...I'm sure I would routinely end up with beer coming out the gas post! Don't do that either, I suppose!
Click to expand...







daveMN said:
I used an autosiphon previously like you described, this was my first time with this method.
The keg overfilled that night too, but just barely. I had the PRV pulled up and it overflowed there. Usually, I can​ watch the condensation rise on the outside of the keg, as long as I cold crash beforehand.
Click to expand...

Two things:
1)add a hose on the gas post and feed it back into the fermentor(assuming you have a purged keg). That will replace the outgoing beer with co2 vs O2/air. While it's limited O2 exposure, it only takes a few ft of hose to minimize it. That will also keep beer from going anywhere outside the 2 hoses.
1b) If you trim your gas post flush with the inside of the keg, you'll fit a couple extra pints in there as well. Also, it will allow you to fully fill the keg by tilting it where the gas post is at the highest point. Just remember that when you go to grab the prv.
2)use a scale under the keg. 5g of 1.01 beer weighs about 42#. Tar out your keg and watch... If you starsan purge the keg first, just weigh it full of starsan. There will be some variance, depending on the fg and temp of the beer, but it's not a bad guideline.
2c) getting on a rant here, but... Spigots seriously make this way easier and also allow you to have a fully closed loop transfer. Open the spigot and replace the airlock with gas hose.

Now, in the spirit of staying on topic. Don't assume your starter made for harvesting/banking​ is finished after 3 days and proceed to fill 3 sanitized 6oz jars with Pacman, only to find all the lids swollen and beer leaking into the fridge 3-4 weeks later. That being said, it has inspired me to try Pacman in the mid 50s.
 
Jwin said:
Two things:
1)add a hose on the gas post and feed it back into the fermentor(assuming you have a purged keg). That will replace the outgoing beer with co2 vs O2/air. While it's limited O2 exposure, it only takes a few ft of hose to minimize it. That will also keep beer from going anywhere outside the 2 hoses.
1b) If you trim your gas post flush with the inside of the keg, you'll fit a couple extra pints in there as well. Also, it will allow you to fully fill the keg by tilting it where the gas post is at the highest point. Just remember that when you go to grab the prv.
Click to expand...
These are some damned cool suggestions
 
This is gonna be both a til and a don't do that. I recently started down the rabbit hole of Mead. Made my first batch on Thursday. Didn't look like there was a whole lot going on and wasn't behaving anything like a normal beer fermentation. So I thought "hey maybe it's stuck, I'll add some yeast Energizer". So add away. I put the energizer into the Mead and gave it it swirl to mix it in. Welp, til I learned that swirling energizer into fermenting Mead makes the diet Coke mento trick look like a squirt gun compared to the geyser I created. So that is don't do that #1. Don't do that #2 is, don't try to stop it by putting your finger over the opening of the bung, thereby spraying honey water all over your garage. 2 hours later and I'm finally don't mopping up and wiping down the motorcycles
 
Don't fail to give your gas lines a quick check when you change out a 20 pound co2 tank. Previos tank lasted maybe 3 months .. so I hooked the new tank up Friday, assumed no leaks, and walked away. Gone overnight :-( Turns out that my QD's, which are threaded, can loosen over time as you hook the QD to the post. Only good side was the welding supply giving me a 20% discount on Monday's tank.
 
Don't forget to buy hose clamps for your loose fitting quick disconnects. Then don't close the wrong ball valve and pressure up one of said hoses which need a clamp. At least i was sparging and only ate some hot water in my face.
 
Finally get your glycol system set up to do your first lager using a cool zone jacket. Ignore the very explicit and simply worded warning about excessive pressure possibly rupturing the jacket. Rupture said jacket resulting in 4 gallons of glycol to spill all over your brew room. 11 days into a perfect 54f fermentation of a 15 day primary.

Don't do that.

Guess I'm doing a d-rest early. Hope this doesn't ruin the batch.. dammit. Lol.
 
helterscelter said:
Finally get your glycol system set up to do your first lager using a cool zone jacket. Ignore the very explicit and simply worded warning about excessive pressure possibly rupturing the jacket. Rupture said jacket resulting in 4 gallons of glycol to spill all over your brew room. 11 days into a perfect 54f fermentation of a 15 day primary.

Don't do that.

Guess I'm doing a d-rest early. Hope this doesn't ruin the batch.. dammit. Lol.
Click to expand...

I'd be more worried about the lost glycol. Liquid gold, that is.
 
Leaking secondary regulator in three pack... debug by taking bonnets apart, rebuilding with kits, etc.

Hook up to three uncarbonated kegs, one a hop-forward pale, all painstakingly packaged by purging Star-San purge to void any O2. Without purging the gas lines first!

Don't do that. Damnit!!
 
First weekend brewing... Ferment a 5 gallon Double Chocolate Stout in a 5 gallon carboy. In your kitchen. DON'T DO THAT!
 
Ware flip flops while brewing.
Don't do that!

I had on mesh shoes and the water from my chiller shot out and burned my foot. Ever notice most brewere ware rubber boots. There is a reason.
 
Order up on my phone a Grog Tag to serve on Club Night at HBC and not look close enough to see that I typed "beet" instead of "beer". Received tag in the mail today. Doh! Guess I'll need to dry hop some beets? ;)
 
I need to pull a faucet from my kegorator for my party tap this Memorial Day. Pull a random faucet from said kegorator without any consideration at all as to which faucets are tapped to a live keg and which aren't. Don't do that.
 
Forget to check the connections on your wort chiller and turn 5.5 gallons into close to 9, then when boiling some dme to bring your OG back up use too small of a pot and turn your back giving your stove a syrup bath. Don't do that.
 
Don't leave your mercury thermometer in your wort during the boil. It will explode. (Not me, a friend.)
 
I always blow out my IC using an adapter with my air compressor after brew day...

After a long brew day yesterday I went to blow out my IC and wasn't really paying attention that the inlet and outlet were pointing directly at ME! I caught my mistake about the same time I was hit with a short blast of water coming from my Jaded Hydra! No real harm but my shorts were soaked.

Have to admit it felt pretty good after a long, sweaty, hot day so maybe...DO THAT!
 
Finish up a delicious Octoberfest batch, but forget to turn on the chiller water or check the line coming out of the plate chiller. I turned around a few minutes later to see my plastic BMB melting. Don't do that!
 

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