Funny Things Billy-Klubb Should Say About Beer in Public
- Thread starter Billy-Klubb
- Start date
Help Support Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum:
OP
OP
...while picking up an APA.
I won't even try a beer that doesn't include fish guts and beaver butt.
Fedora
Glorified Janitor
Beer was invented in the 1650s by Irish farmers because they wanted to get drunk, but couldn't afford whiskey.
Black Island Brewer
An Ode to Beer
Back in the days before yeast had been discovered, brewers developed yeast infections under their finger nails, and when brewing, would immerse one thumb into ales, two thumbs into lagers. This was the origin of the term "rule of thumb".
Kirkwooder
Emperor of all things nobody cares about
Sir William Klubb is the patron saint of brewing because he was the first to filter beer through a perforated sheep scrotum.
That's where club soda started, it was originally a beer but they had to change it for prohibition.
That's where club soda started, it was originally a beer but they had to change it for prohibition.
Fedora
Glorified Janitor
Drinking homemade beer is very dangerous because homebrewers don't have the equipment to filter out the methanol like big breweries do. You could go blind AND will be six times more susceptible to Ebola...
Making mead is illegal.
If that's true, then no more drinkin', I'll use it for fuel. 'Cause there won't be a dragster quicker when I fill'er up on drinkin' likker!
OP
OP
and on that note: bread yeast is not the best yeast for JOAM. I read that somewhere.
According to Brew Like A Monk, the Belgians have been making fruit lambics by mashing Cap'n Crunch with Crunch Berries. You have your grain and your fruit, all in one convenient box.
Jacob_Marley
Well-Known Member
"I use beer to rinse after shampooing ... Ooooo, I just love the shine it gives my hair"
Kirkwooder
Emperor of all things nobody cares about
"If you open a 2 liter of root beer and ad a packet of bread yeast, then stick it in the closet for 37 days, you will have a beer just like Guinness, only stronger."
Naturally. It's rootbeer. They filter out the yeast to stop fermentation. Once you warm it up and add yeast, the fermentation restarts.
When you add yeast to that 2 liter bottle of root beer, be sure to crank that cap back on as tight as you can. After it ferments, the plastic bottle will feel rock-hard from the pressure. This is why they call it hard root beer.
Serve at room temperature. Shake vigorously, open and enjoy!
Serve at room temperature. Shake vigorously, open and enjoy!
ubnserved
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2014
- Messages
- 596
- Reaction score
- 122
won't that turn it into a fruit beer? Or more specifically a raspberry beer or is it not considered a fruit beer without any real fruit? And how do you feel about that? And do you use the "hole butt" or do you just express the anal glands?..... I won't even get into the fish guts, just too many different types.
You have to mash the whole beaver butt or you're not a real brewer. That's how my great grandfather did it in Lithuania.
And don't call it "fruit beer", or you're a bigot.
And don't call it "fruit beer", or you're a bigot.
I hear the mud wine from Elbonia is good this time of year.
ubnserved
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2014
- Messages
- 596
- Reaction score
- 122
Lol didn't even look at it that way..... per conversation on another thread the anal glands of beavers are supposedly expressed for raspberry flavoring. I do not know this for fact but hence the fruit beer reference. I guess I should have called it a berry beer that way Billy Klubb would have something to punch.
But back to my question. ... Would it be considered a "sweet produce" beer without any fruit only beaver secretions?
This thread is pure madness and insanity combined. I'm afraid to contribute anything meaningful to it. I just might be taken seriously. Afterall, I'm one "of-those-guys" that believes an OG should begin at 1.070 and go up from there.
OP
OP
it can and will be taken seriously. and, hopefully, used someday in a video spanning several liquor stores, home brew shops, and tap rooms.
To be serious for a second: Yes, I've read about fruit flavorings from beaver glands (there's got to be another punchline in there). And I agree that anything fruit flavored would be fruit beer, whether it comes from real fruit or flavoring. (Waiting for the "well actually" about banana esters and such)
The real question is: How do you "harvest" a beaver butt, and what do you do with them when "brewing" alone?
drainbamage
Keep HBT weird.
Homebrewing is just a 12-hr process to determine the color of the beer. The alcohol must be added separately. Powdered alcohol is best, followed by gel tablets. Liquid alcohol should be avoided, as it has been linked to autism.
Stouts are so thick because they contain roasted hops. All other beers contain malted hops. BMC uses cold-malted hops for the light color and mild flavor.
Stouts are so thick because they contain roasted hops. All other beers contain malted hops. BMC uses cold-malted hops for the light color and mild flavor.
fuzzy2133
Well-Known Member
German beers are only sold under the title "Import" because Uhmerica does not believe in Reinheitsgebot.
Kirkwooder
Emperor of all things nobody cares about
To be serious for a second: Yes, I've read about fruit flavorings from beaver glands (there's got to be another punchline in there). And I agree that anything fruit flavored would be fruit beer, whether it comes from real fruit or flavoring. (Waiting for the "well actually" about banana esters and such)
The real question is: How do you "harvest" a beaver butt, and what do you do with them when "brewing" alone?
The Castor gland in a beaver is located under the hide just under the tail. After the beaver has been skinned the gland becomes visible and can easily be removed with a good sharp knife. It is then hung to dry and sold by the pound.
This dried gland is then ground into a powder and added to many things you would rather not know about. LoL
I certainly do hope that someone takes this thread seriously. It'll be like journalists who take articles from The Onion as the gospel truth.
We've gotta punk someone around here!
ubnserved
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2014
- Messages
- 596
- Reaction score
- 122
The Castor gland in a beaver is located under the hide just under the tail. After the beaver has been skinned the gland becomes visible and can easily be removed with a good sharp knife. It is then hung to dry and sold by the pound.
This dried gland is then ground into a powder and added to many things you would rather not know about. LoL
I still have not looked it up, but wouldn't milking the gland be more efficient than killing it and only getting one use of it?........ OK I had to look it up.... aged and used in perfume, once used in or as medicine and used as and list in ingredients as "natural flavoring ". Used as vanilla, strawberry and raspberry. Both male and female have them and you can get $10 to $40 each for them from the Ontario government.
Now my question is what in the he|| was going on in the mind of the guy who said "let's try this in some cookies and see if we can get the vanilla flavor out tat a$$!"
ubnserved
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2014
- Messages
- 596
- Reaction score
- 122
The yeast used in one of the original budweiser beer recipes was actually harvested from a yeast infection in 1891 when Adolphus Busch first obtained the name and trademark of Budweiser.
Someone is getting punked....
Someone is getting punked....
OP
OP
The yeast used in one of the original budweiser beer recipes was actually harvested from a yeast infection in 1891 when Adolphus Busch first obtained the name and trademark of Budweiser.
Someone is getting punked....
hell, it might even end up being me! hahaha!
ubnserved
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2014
- Messages
- 596
- Reaction score
- 122
I think that would be a great video to make on a busy Friday night at a college liquor store. Now that it is online with a accurate date and names it will not be long before it is indexed in the Goog. I should add some more details to it. Like it came from Lilly his wife etc.
Kirkwooder
Emperor of all things nobody cares about
It's the gland that gives the flavor that is being sought out, not the oil from the gland, and the beavers are being harvested for their fur and meat, and because they cause billions of dollars of damage to timber assets every year.
If your going to kill the beaver anyway, you might as well use as much of it as you can.
Without being funny, beaver meat is very good to eat. Everyone I've ever known to try beaver meat like it. So eat your beaver!
ubnserved
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2014
- Messages
- 596
- Reaction score
- 122
Yeah, nothing like a furry beaver to cheer you up on a cold day! Which also means you can eat your honey as well!
Boy this thread certainly jumped both feet into the gutter fast.
drainbamage
Keep HBT weird.
Of all the weird topics to bleed over between threads, it's the beaver a$$ glands... :smack:
drainbamage
Keep HBT weird.
Back to dumb stuff BK should say about beer:
Sours are made by bottling a 50/50 blend of beer and balsamic vinegar, like a shandy.
Sours are made by bottling a 50/50 blend of beer and balsamic vinegar, like a shandy.
Jacob_Marley
Well-Known Member
" ... besides the regulation of the brewing of beer, the Reinheitsgebot German Purity Law of 1516 originally included strict regulation of the manner in which a young man could lose his virginity.
Known as the “JungerMann Purity Edict”, it was required that a young man could only lose his virginity to a similarly virginal but licensed MilkMaid, and only by face-to-face congress; unless she was engaged in the cheddaring of cheese curds in which case she could be addressed from behind, and as long as her apron did not become untied, the aspirants could consummate until the curd loaves had been completely stacked; at which time she was required to loudly and clearly declare: "ich bin gestapelt" (literally "I'm Stacked") at which time they could face each other "at will".
On the other hand, the Forestallment Clause (of the Act) states that if the MilkMaid was engaged with Cow at the time of the young man's approach, she could be legally allowed to free one hand, and with "substantially identical" manual action, forestall the disgorgement of her duties to his general satisfaction, OR until such time that the existing cow's udder being drafted with the other hand had been emptied.
The JungerMann Purity Edict of the Reinheitsgebot German Purity Law of 1516 was dropped when the supply of virginal milkmaids became scarce. This is believed to be largely due to the advent of vastly improved brewing technology."
Known as the “JungerMann Purity Edict”, it was required that a young man could only lose his virginity to a similarly virginal but licensed MilkMaid, and only by face-to-face congress; unless she was engaged in the cheddaring of cheese curds in which case she could be addressed from behind, and as long as her apron did not become untied, the aspirants could consummate until the curd loaves had been completely stacked; at which time she was required to loudly and clearly declare: "ich bin gestapelt" (literally "I'm Stacked") at which time they could face each other "at will".
On the other hand, the Forestallment Clause (of the Act) states that if the MilkMaid was engaged with Cow at the time of the young man's approach, she could be legally allowed to free one hand, and with "substantially identical" manual action, forestall the disgorgement of her duties to his general satisfaction, OR until such time that the existing cow's udder being drafted with the other hand had been emptied.
The JungerMann Purity Edict of the Reinheitsgebot German Purity Law of 1516 was dropped when the supply of virginal milkmaids became scarce. This is believed to be largely due to the advent of vastly improved brewing technology."
A shandy is actually just another way of saying half beer half Smirnoff Ice
Similar threads
