three-phase to the home may be 'better' than single phase but it ain't happening any time soon. and for the vast majority of utilization equipment in a home, three-phase just isn't justified, short of sweeping changes in the entire electrical industry.
the nec is indeed conservative but i'm not going to complain. the electrical fire/electrocution rate in this country is fairly low and is trending downwards, despite a growing population and a greater ingress of electricity into our lives. just look at the image below. and this only goes back to the mid seventies, electrical incidents were even greater further in the past. the nec is a massive contributor to greater safety in electricity.
from a practical standpoint, many code violations introduce no real danger but they are violations nonetheless. using your example above, what is saved by using #12 conductors vs #10? $0.50? why even bother with such an installation? if $0.50 is some type of make or break cost for brewing, then that person needs a different hobby. and to make statements like 'feel free to make slight changes' is extremely disingenuous, you never know how such statements will be interpreted and applied by others.