Vasectomy: Male's POV?

SSBrew - 728
Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum

Help Support Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
the_bird said:
That's SUCH a slippery slope you're proposing. What if they agreed to NOT have kids when they got married, but she accidentally got pregnant? Or even, she got pregnant intentionally, but without his consent?

Besides, he's not saying "you can't have kids" - he's just saying "NOT WITH ME!"
Click to expand...

Well now your just not going with what I am saying:D

Your right on that. My argument is one based on what I gathered from the OP. Which it seemed they spoke about it and she was not messing with him or around on him. And essentially he is saying she can't have kids because adultery is illegal.
 
I'll get it snipped once my daughter has her first kid - but that'll be a joint decision with my wife. I don't see how anyone in a healthy marriage could make such decisions on their own and expect to get away with it.
 
It's not like there are sections on the marriage license for how many kids you're going to have.
The problem is, people change their minds. Before you have kids you might have wanted 5. After the first one, you might want none. Women can become obsessed with motherhood and being pregnant and want to add 3 more to her original request. Divorce rates are high for a reason.
 
Bobby_M said:
It's not like there are sections on the marriage license for how many kids you're going to have.
The problem is, people change their minds. Before you have kids you might have wanted 5. After the first one, you might want none. Women can become obsessed with motherhood and being pregnant and want to add 3 more to her original request. Divorce rates are high for a reason.
Click to expand...

You know, my parents have told me many a time, "Son, if you were our first child - YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN THE LAST!"

(would have been a mutual decision, though... ;))
 
bethlehembrewer said:
Im not saying he didn't have the right to do it at all. If you were to consider marrige a legal contract (which it is) then he would have to give her A) adequate notice, or B) work something out to accomodate his needs/feelings.
Click to expand...

Reproductive rights are very strong, but the right not to reproduce trumps another's reproductive rights, in cases like this. Contract law doesn't really apply to this type of a situation.
 
The guy was nuts either for thinking he'd get away with this or for not just leaving in the first place. I can't remember the last time everyone was in such strong consensus on one issue, though - this marriage is ****ed.
 
the_bird said:
"MY BODY, MY CHOICE!!"
Click to expand...

That is the bottom line - whether they work through it or not is another issue.

If you got married with an agreement not to have children, is she obligated to have an abortion or give the child up for adoption? He has the right to have that procedure - the question is - is if fair to his wife.

I think that that is a decision that needs to be made together. Besides, if they cannot work something like that out together - they shouldn't reproduce anyway.
 
ArcaneXor said:
I'll get it snipped once my daughter has her first kid...
Click to expand...

dude-wait-what.jpg
 
BierMuncher said:
............

:confused:.....:confused:.....:confused:
Click to expand...

I can see now how that could be misunderstood... Once my daughter has her first child with her future partner!!!

Because once a next generation is ensured in my family, my biological purpose is served. Sounds weird, but I feel I shouldn't "cut off" any options until that has been assured.
 
ArcaneXor said:
I can see now how that could be misunderstood... Once my daughter has her first child with her future partner!!!

Because once a next generation is ensured in my family, my biological purpose is served. Sounds weird, but I feel I shouldn't "cut off" any options until that has been assured.
Click to expand...
Okay...but it's gonna be a few minutes before I can get this out of my head...

hillbilly11.jpg
 
That's a long time to wait, Arcane. What if she doesn't want to have kids, or she adopts instead? Would you then have more kids until one of them does reproduce?

Just sounds like you're hedging your bets on a lot - you may not end up getting snipped until you're in your 60s - 70s.
 
I would watch out with that whole "reversible" line of thought. It is fairly reversible in the first year or so, but I read after 5 you don't have a very good chance of it all coming together again as it were.
 
I got mine done last year....but I asked my wife AT LEAST a half dozen times if she was SURE she didn't want any more kids. We already have 3, but I'm glad I made sure to ask a bunch of times. Our youngest is one year old now, and my wife is starting to talk about babies again. :eek:
 
Im young so I might not have the perspective that comes with parenthood or age, but as far as the legality of it is concerned a vasectomy is not that different than an abortion there are laws protecting women from needing the consent or even knowledge of anyone, the father or her parents when seeking an abortion I think the same thing applies to all reproductive surgeries. But I also agree with the rest of you that any relationship where one person feels they can or have to keep something like that a secret is not a healthy relationship. So I think its only a ethical / moral question not a legal one but from my perspective it would be far worse if the wife didnt want more children and the husband did something (poking holes in condoms or whatever) to make sure she would get pregnant.
 
If the hypothetical couple is married, I think he should be willing to reverse it. I don't see how that decision could be made singularly. Obviously its his genitalia, but I just don't think you should be married if you aren't going to discuss those things together...
 
I agree that the marriage is seriously screwed. You can't put blame on one or the other because there is always a story behind it.
Did anyone think that maybe the guy just doesn't want to get his girlfriend pregnant?
 
Incidentally, I wonder how this thread would have been received if it had been said liek this:

What would you say if a woman got her tubes tied after she had their most recent child? However, he wants more but she went ahead and got snipped without her husband's consent.


Or if it had been phrased:

What would you say if one parent decides to have an operation to ensure that they do not have another kid without consulting the other parent?
 
kornkob said:
Incidentally, I wonder how this thread would have been received if it had been said liek this:

What would you say if a woman got her tubes tied after she had their most recent child? However, he wants more but she went ahead and got snipped without her husband's consent.


Or if it had been phrased:

What would you say if one parent decides to have an operation to ensure that they do not have another kid without consulting the other parent?
Click to expand...

My reaction? Identical. I doubt it would be as seemingly unanimous, though.
 
I'm glad being as I don't particularly like kids and never want to have to deal with them that my wife finds the whole idea of her being pregnant and later toting around a kid to be one of the most repugnant concepts in the universe.

I almost want to have the snip done myself to cut off the chance of it ever happening, but I despise going to the doctor. Hell, I had a kidney stone and just suffered through it for half a day until it passed instead of going to a doctor.
 
+1 on the faulked marriage. That is way too big of a deal not to have discussed it. My wife and I have been talking about it for a long time and now that our 2nd child is 9 weeks old, I'm scheduled to go in to get snipped next month...
 
I got to page 4 of reading this post and gave up. So if already posted sry.

Why not just never tell her. Then, when she wants to have kids, have all the baby making sex possible. Then be like sorry sweetie.....I don't know what the heck is wrong. :ban:






Ok so I wouldn't actually do that but.....just throwing it out there. Not even sure you could hide it ?
 
Brewing Clamper said:
+1 on the faulked marriage. That is way too big of a deal not to have discussed it.
Click to expand...

You know... I do wonder if we're getting the whole story. After all the OP gave VERY few details so we have no real concept of what the real situation was.

After all, they could have talked about it and that conversation could have been perceived very differently by the man. His version might be:

We discussed getting snipped and she agreed it was probably a good idea. So I went and got it done and then when she finds out about it she goes absolutely apeshait on me.

Doesn't mean the marriage is fubar. Just means that sometimes they misunderstand one another. My grandparents often misunderstood one another but were happily married till they both died.


There's probably 3 sides to this story and we've only heard the abridged version of ONE of those sides.
 
kornkob said:
You know... I do wonder if we're getting the whole story. After all the OP gave VERY few details so we have no real concept of what the real situation was.

After all, they could have talked about it and that conversation could have been perceived very differently by the man. His version might be:

We discussed getting snipped and she agreed it was probably a good idea. So I went and got it done and then when she finds out about it she goes absolutely apeshait on me.

Doesn't mean the marriage is fubar. Just means that sometimes they misunderstand one another. My grandparents often misunderstood one another but were happily married till they both died.


There's probably 3 sides to this story and we've only heard the abridged version of ONE of those sides.
Click to expand...

Good point. I know for a fact I have done things SWMBO has asked me to do. Come to find out she wasn't really asking but just having the convo.
 
EdWort said:
Again, I konkur with Dr. Kornkob, though he was late to the party. :D
Click to expand...


Sorry--- I was having a rotten day at work. There was corporate facing stuff that wasn't happening in it's usual smooth manner and, while it certainly won't reflect on me, I like the home office to think that we're all gods and everything always goes smoothly.
 

Similar threads

orgenomescii
Brewing like a Barbarian: Ancient Irish Descriptions of Malting & Brewing
Replies
2
Views
1K
McMullan
McMullan
Hop
Ongoing Review: BrewHardware Premium Recirculating BIAB Package
Replies
4
Views
762
Bobby_M
Bobby_M
Skåldy
A Hobby Obsessed Vet
Replies
6
Views
891
IslandLizard
IslandLizard
Gadjobrinus
Lament
Replies
6
Views
815
bracconiere
bracconiere
dawn_kiebawls
How do I be a bad neighbor, without actually being a bad neighbor??
2 3
Replies
90
Views
9K
Albany brew guy
A

Latest posts

Back
Top