Vasectomy: Male's POV?

[bethlehembrewer]

My sister poked holes in her husbands condoms so she could get pregnant against his wishes. They've been divorced for years now.

That is messed up.

As for the OP. He having legally married the woman and knowing she wanted kids has no right to do something like that, mostly on a moral level, but Im sure there could be some legal base for it as well. Such as breach of contract. Unless he had reason to think she was doing the lot lizard thang then I can't see any reason or excuse.

I must say the guy has some set of balls to go against a SWMBO with something like that. Maybe he had to do it so that his super-jimmies (which must accompany a set of balls like that) didnt hurt her or make her a mutant :cross:

 

[BrewWench]

That is messed up.

As for the OP. He having legally married the woman and knowing she wanted kids has no right to do something like that, mostly on a moral level, but Im sure there could be some legal base for it as well. Such as breach of contract. Unless he had reason to think she was doing the lot lizard thang then I can't see any reason or excuse.

Well, it's like once they had one kid, he decided he didn't want any others, when originally he wanted as many kids as she did, I suppose... I mean, maybe reality set in and he doesn't think he can handle another? I can't blame him for that, I guess.

I must say the guy has some set of balls to go against a SWMBO with something like that. Maybe he had to do it so that his super-jimmies (which must accompany a set of balls like that) didnt hurt her or make her a mutant :cross:

LOL!

 

[bethlehembrewer]

Well, it's like once they had one kid, he decided he didn't want any others, when originally he wanted as many kids as she did, I suppose... I mean, maybe reality set in and he doesn't think he can handle another? I can't blame him for that, I guess.



LOL!

Im not saying he didn't have the right to do it at all. If you were to consider marrige a legal contract (which it is) then he would have to give her A) adequate notice, or B) work something out to accomodate his needs/feelings.

 

[the_bird]

I think you're confusing what one might argue would be moral obligations with legal obligations. He's got full legal right to get himself snipped if he wants. His body, regardless of the marraige. Can't see how contract law applies (one is not legally OBLIGATED to provide one's spouse with children, although it's clearly a valid reason for that marraige contract to subsequently be broken if they don't agree on this issue).

 

[findthefish]

I agree with the majority on this one. The guy has a right to do what he wants. It isn't nearly as bad as a woman doing something to purposely get "accidentally" pregnant without the guys knowledge. But of course that relationship obviously has problems.

 

[BierMuncher]

Let us know when they have the garage sale.

 

[the_bird]

Let us know when they have the garage sale.

You know, I just bought a nice Sony TV from a couple, friends of The Wife, that are getting divorced. I call it my marital plunder. I felt guilty buying it for a little while, but it's also really nice having the old TV down in the basement next to the kegerator...

 

[bethlehembrewer]

I think you're confusing what one might argue would be moral obligations with legal obligations. He's got full legal right to get himself snipped if he wants. His body, regardless of the marraige. Can't see how contract law applies (one is not legally OBLIGATED to provide one's spouse with children, although it's clearly a valid reason for that marraige contract to subsequently be broken if they don't agree on this issue).

Yes, I am making the argument by extension. One would have to think they spoke about these things prior to marrige, they then agreed to the marrige (a legal document) based on the prior knowledge of what they spoke about. Therefore by extension if they did speak about it he might be legally obligated, he did agree to it. She having known he didn't want kids might not have married him.

It would be like a contract employee taking a job knowing what the responsibilities are. Then a year into the job thinking he doesn't want to do one of the more important responsibilities. He has every right as a human to not do said task(s). But legally he should provide notice to the employer so they can look into making arrangments so he can stay and won't have that one responsibility. Without notification he has breached the contract, which is grounds for many things.

Im not a lawyer although I have seen my share of case law. Im just drawing the best argument I can which might have some stability.

 

[the_bird]

That's SUCH a slippery slope you're proposing. What if they agreed to NOT have kids when they got married, but she accidentally got pregnant? Or even, she got pregnant intentionally, but without his consent?

Besides, he's not saying "you can't have kids" - he's just saying "NOT WITH ME!"

 

[Evan!]

Yes, I am making the argument by extension. One would have to think they spoke about these things prior to marrige, they then agreed to the marrige (a legal document) based on the prior knowledge of what they spoke about. Therefore by extension if they did speak about it he might be legally obligated, he did agree to it. She having known he didn't want kids might not have married him.

It would be like a contract employee taking a job knowing what the responsibilities are. Then a year into the job thinking he doesn't want to do one of the more important responsibilities. He has every right as a human to not do said task(s). But legallu he should provide notice to the employer so they can look into making arrangments so he can stay and won't have that one responsibility. Without notification he has breached the contract, which is grounds for many things.

Im not a lawyer although I have seen my share of case law. Im just drawing the best argument I can which might have some stability.

Unless those "responsibilities" were laid out in detail the contract prior to the marriage, then that makes no sense. So they talked about having kids. Just because we talk about having kids one day doesn't mean that I'm contractually obligated to provide my spunk for 2+ kids. "Speaking about something" prior to signing a contract doesn't contractually obligate them to anything, unless it was spelled out as a term of that agreement.

 

[bethlehembrewer]

That's SUCH a slippery slope you're proposing. What if they agreed to NOT have kids when they got married, but she accidentally got pregnant? Or even, she got pregnant intentionally, but without his consent?

Besides, he's not saying "you can't have kids" - he's just saying "NOT WITH ME!"

Well now your just not going with what I am saying

Your right on that. My argument is one based on what I gathered from the OP. Which it seemed they spoke about it and she was not messing with him or around on him. And essentially he is saying she can't have kids because adultery is illegal.

 

[the_bird]

All of a sudden, I feel like Gloria Steinham.

"MY BODY, MY CHOICE!!"

 

[ArcaneXor]

I'll get it snipped once my daughter has her first kid - but that'll be a joint decision with my wife. I don't see how anyone in a healthy marriage could make such decisions on their own and expect to get away with it.

 

[Bobby_M]

It's not like there are sections on the marriage license for how many kids you're going to have.
The problem is, people change their minds. Before you have kids you might have wanted 5. After the first one, you might want none. Women can become obsessed with motherhood and being pregnant and want to add 3 more to her original request. Divorce rates are high for a reason.

 

[the_bird]

It's not like there are sections on the marriage license for how many kids you're going to have.
The problem is, people change their minds. Before you have kids you might have wanted 5. After the first one, you might want none. Women can become obsessed with motherhood and being pregnant and want to add 3 more to her original request. Divorce rates are high for a reason.

You know, my parents have told me many a time, "Son, if you were our first child - YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN THE LAST!"

(would have been a mutual decision, though... )

 

[srm775]

Im not saying he didn't have the right to do it at all. If you were to consider marrige a legal contract (which it is) then he would have to give her A) adequate notice, or B) work something out to accomodate his needs/feelings.

Reproductive rights are very strong, but the right not to reproduce trumps another's reproductive rights, in cases like this. Contract law doesn't really apply to this type of a situation.

 

[bethlehembrewer]

All of a sudden, I feel like Gloria Steinham.

"MY BODY, MY CHOICE!!"

Haha.

Any which way you look at the situation the guy was nuts, and the marrige is failed. I just like throwing in the technicalities to spice things up.

 

[the_bird]

The guy was nuts either for thinking he'd get away with this or for not just leaving in the first place. I can't remember the last time everyone was in such strong consensus on one issue, though - this marriage is ****ed.

 

[BierMuncher]

I'll get it snipped once my daughter has her first kid ...

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[NWernBrewer]

"MY BODY, MY CHOICE!!"

That is the bottom line - whether they work through it or not is another issue.

If you got married with an agreement not to have children, is she obligated to have an abortion or give the child up for adoption? He has the right to have that procedure - the question is - is if fair to his wife.

I think that that is a decision that needs to be made together. Besides, if they cannot work something like that out together - they shouldn't reproduce anyway.

 

[DeathBrewer]

I'll get it snipped once my daughter has her first kid...

 

[the_bird]

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Yeah, I'm not even going to go there......

 

[ohiobrewtus]

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I was thinking the same thing. Where do you live exactly?

 

[ArcaneXor]

double post - see below.

 

[stever]

Joint decision. Of course my wife has decided I need to get one and for some reason I have been putting it off. I do need to get it done though and strangely enough, doing a google image search for vasectomy has not made me want to call and make that appointment.

http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=948944&matchid=

 

[ArcaneXor]

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I can see now how that could be misunderstood... Once my daughter has her first child with her future partner!!!

Because once a next generation is ensured in my family, my biological purpose is served. Sounds weird, but I feel I shouldn't "cut off" any options until that has been assured.

 

[BierMuncher]

I can see now how that could be misunderstood... Once my daughter has her first child with her future partner!!!

Because once a next generation is ensured in my family, my biological purpose is served. Sounds weird, but I feel I shouldn't "cut off" any options until that has been assured.

Okay...but it's gonna be a few minutes before I can get this out of my head...

 

[BrewWench]

That's a long time to wait, Arcane. What if she doesn't want to have kids, or she adopts instead? Would you then have more kids until one of them does reproduce?

Just sounds like you're hedging your bets on a lot - you may not end up getting snipped until you're in your 60s - 70s.

 

[conpewter]

I would watch out with that whole "reversible" line of thought. It is fairly reversible in the first year or so, but I read after 5 you don't have a very good chance of it all coming together again as it were.

 

[TwoHeadsBrewing]

I got mine done last year....but I asked my wife AT LEAST a half dozen times if she was SURE she didn't want any more kids. We already have 3, but I'm glad I made sure to ask a bunch of times. Our youngest is one year old now, and my wife is starting to talk about babies again.