The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

[odorf]

Dear Garbage man.

I know the rule is only 5 bags
and i have 6, might as well grab it anyway,
cause it will sit right thar in the sun, marinating.
the sun making the plastic bag break down.
waiting on you to grab it next week.
then the bag will rip, if you dont pick up the spilt trash
you KNOW, I will call dispatch and whine like a 3 week old puppy

sincerely stop counting bags,and throw them on the damn truck

 

[Onkel_Udo]

Dear throw them on the damn truck,

That is what neighbors are for.

Sincerely,

Avid recycler

 

[GuldTuborg]

Dear stop counting bags,

You need bigger bags.

Sincerely,
Mr Big Sack

 

[kirbcheck]

Dear Mr. Big Sack,

Sounds like you're compensating for something to me.

Sincerely,

Don't make me break out the "Yo Mamma" jokes

 

[flars]

Dear Stop Counting Bags,

And next week everyone will have six bags.
And next week everyone will rant.
You know the rules.

Put your extra bag in the keezer until the next week to keep it from marinating.

Why do you have so much garbage?

Signed,
Donagivad

 

[Willy_Liverdye]

Dear Trampoline

I know you're out there and I know what you're thinking, "C'mon chickensh**".

You best mind your manners. I put you together and I can take you apart. I'm the man of the house and I can do whatever she lets me so you better watch your P's and Q's.

By the way I heard what you said when I was mowing the yard yesterday. You really think you're special sitting there in my way with that look...I'm getting tired of that look!

Sure you might of won last time but you got lucky. If you were just a little bit bigger I would've nailed that back-flip so it's all your fault.

What?!?

That's it! I've had enough!

When I finish these beers it's ON! You and me bud. Mano a mano

What's that Dear? All over the floor?

Damn!

It's your lucky day Trampoline.

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

Dear Lucky Day,

I wasn't going to say anything, but I heard the springy bastard insulted your wife/mother/child. It also said something about being an absolute coward that can't hack it anymore I think.

Sincerely,
The Instigator.

 

[kirbcheck]

Dear Instigator,

Your father was a hamster and your mother smelled of elderberries!

Sincerely,

An innocent bystander

 

[Kirkwooder]

Dear friends of friends that invited yourself to our house for opening day of deer season and stayed for a week,

Please don't come back, but if you do, do not insult my home brew and then continue to drink an a$$load of it!

Please do not eat us out of house and home, there are grocery stores everywhere, at least stop and grab a bag of chips.

Please do not invite yourself to go to my MIL for thanksgiving dinner, especially when we aren't even going, and she isn't planning on making anything for anyone but herself.

Please feel free to step in and wash some of those dishes you dirtied, or any of the huge pile of towels you have used. You have made your selves welcome to the remote, the refrigerator, my home brew, my ammunition, my tree stand and a hundred other things, don't be shy to make yourself welcome to the vacuum or a dish cloth.

Sincerely,
No you are not welcome back next week, or ever for that matter!

 

[Singletrack]

Dear "No you are not welcome back,"

I came here to rant about elderly visitors with unending, repetitive, inane conversations during my morning-after coffee. Thank you for putting my petty annoyances in perspective.

They enjoyed my beer and didn't drink too much.

Sincerely,

Now I'm just embarrassed

 

[Renegades_Brew]

Dear Work this week...

Please be kind. I know I had most of last week off and that the way this week's schedule looks is to make up for that... But is five 16 hour days in a row really necessary followed by a 10 hour Saturday???

Sincerely,

Really going to need a home brew this weekend...

 

[Kharnynb]

dear "you are not welcome back"

that's what saying no the first time is for, and if not listened too, that's what ammo is for....

Sincerely,
If you don't call first, you ain't getting in.

 

[Kirkwooder]

Dear, If you don't call first,

I certainly am not shy about letting my displeasure be known, however, SWMBO kept me from killing our unwelcome guests. I have informed her she will not be able to keep me from committing homicide if they return.

I'm almost certain that it would be justifiable!

Sincerely,
The guns are loaded and waiting.

 

[slym2none]

Dear Everyone,

Please, for the love of all you hold holy, stop using "of" when you mean "have". "Could of" doesn't even make sense. I understand they sound the same while speaking, but as written, it slowly kills a piece of my soul when I see intelligent people getting something so wrong.

Sincerely, The Most Dangerous Grammar Nazi You Might Ever Meet But Probably Not

 

[kirbcheck]

Dear grammar nazi,

I have similar quirks. Like listening to people mispronounce the word etcetera.

Sincerely,

Your cousin the diction nazi

 

[slym2none]

Dear Cousin,

Don't get me started. The "of" thing is just the tip of my iceberg...

Sincerely, Sometimes I Hate The Internet

 

[Singletrack]

Dear Grammar,

People that don't worry about grammar risk appearing less smarter.

I think the word "that" in the sentence above should be "who," but I seem to be the only one who/that thinks that, so maybe I'm wrong. Is there anyone who/that knows?

Sincerely,

Not sure why I care, but I guess I do

 

[slym2none]

Dear me,

Please don't say anything...

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/showthread.php?p=7243202#post7243202

Sincerely,

 

[slym2none]

Dear Grammar,

People that don't worry about grammar risk appearing less smarter.

I think the word "that" in the sentence above should be "who," but I seem to be the only one who/that thinks that, so maybe I'm wrong. Is there anyone who/that knows?

Sincerely,

Not sure why I care, but I guess I do

Dear Not Sure,

It's "who".

Sincerely,

 

[flars]

Oh Dear,

Less smarter

Sincerely,

 

[cattmoble]

Dear grammar

I second Slym2none on the "of" thing. What gets me going is "bring / take" .
" I'll bring so and so" I say " Well actually , you can take so and so. However, you can't bring it. Now say I was already there I could ask you to bring so and so."
Good looking woman says " Really? Guess what? I'm not coming and your not getting any for awhile! ". Me " Well actually ......." ( face palm). Lmao

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Dear People Who Lose Their Minds With Hatred For The "Man-bun"

Relax. Its a dumb hairstyle. It'll go away. You have better things to worry about.

Sincerely,
CreamyGoodness... the guy who hates when people tell him his shoes are untied.

 

[PatrickGoss]

Dear Goose Island,

Why is it that I, who live relatively near you, get gouged and pay obscene prices, after standing in line, for very limited quantities of your product.... When cases of it are available and reasonably priced a thousand of miles away? I like some of your beers, but I think this year was my last bcbs hunting Black Friday.

Sincerely,
I like drinking local. You like serving non-local.

 

[Temptd2]

Dear Grammar -
I feel ya on this subject! Just watched something on TV where a PhD, mind you, said "suppose-ably" instead of "supposedly" - not just once, but THREE times! First time I was CERTAIN I misheard him but NO - twice more! OMG how can you get that educated and NOT know the correct word there?

Sincerely,
High School Education but knows better than THAT!

 

[harleybug88]

Dear Grammar -
I feel ya on this subject! Just watched something on TV where a PhD, mind you, said "suppose-ably" instead of "supposedly" - not just once, but THREE times! First time I was CERTAIN I misheard him but NO - twice more! OMG how can you get that educated and NOT know the correct word there?

Sincerely,
High School Education but knows better than THAT!

Dear H.S. Ed.

I suppose your wright...err, I mean rite.

 

[kirbcheck]

Dear High School Education,

A PhD is not the sign of intelligence we give it credit for. Thirty years ago that may have been a different story, I don't know. Education has nothing on experience and too many PhD wielding idiots have no experience. Just my Two cents.

Sincerely,

Considered a graduate degree, didn't want to be another idiot

PS: I've met many intelligent PhDs as well. If you wield a PhD I simply require you to prove your intelligence before I give you the benefit of the doubt.

 

[Onkel_Udo]

Dear PhD Hater,

It has never been about the degree. It never will be about the degree. It has everything to do with the person that does or does not choose to chase another marketable achievement.

Sincerely,

Son of a PhD and professor and teacher...love learning, hate organized education

 

[soccerdad]

Dear HS

You might could get the PhD a dictionary.

Sincerely, Southern grammar grows on you

 

[doug293cz]

Dear Considered:

Years ago at work, some PhiDiot actually said in a technical meeting: "I'm a PhD. I don't need data." WTF?

Sincerely,
Not a PhiDiot

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

Dear PhD intelligence doubter,

Requiring someone to prove their intelligence before giving them the benefit of the doubt should apply to everyone, at all times, regardless of the letters they do or don't have after their name.

Sincerely,
Everyone is st00pid but me.

 

[kirbcheck]

Dear Son of a PhD,

As I stated before, I don't believe all PhD holders are idiots. Be proud of your parent's achievement.

My point is to not accept the credentials as proof of intelligence.

Dear st00pid,

Considering the context of my post, I shouldn't have to include non-PhD holders when I say they need to prove their intelligence. It should be implied. But if it makes you feel better I'll clarify. I don't give anyone the benefit of the doubt when considering their intelligence. I've met too many idiots with all ranges of degrees.

Sincerely,

Let's not get those panties in a bunch

 

[Raving_Elk]

Dear thief who stole that case of beer from my backyard,

I know you probably just took the case to cash the bottle deposit, but you should know that you stole a case of heavily over-carbed bottle-bombs. Two of the bottles already exploded in my basement last week. The beers were awaiting recapping in the cold outside my home… :smack:

Sincerely,

The guy who hopes the bottles explode in your home and mess up your carpet, but not in your face because that would make me feel bad

 

[slym2none]

Dear littering young kids,

Thank you for leaving an entire un-opened 8-pack of 16 oz aluminum bottles of Bud Light on the park bench in the little park beside the house I stay at. I imagine the police rolled by & you bailed, leaving behind your ****ty beer. Now I have something to use for making chili, and par-boiling some bratwurst, and possibly offering people who like ****ty beer.

Sincerely, I Wouldn't Drink This Crap If You Gave It To Me (Obviously)

 

[odorf]

Dear grammar

I second Slym2none on the "of" thing. What gets me going is "bring / take" .
" I'll bring so and so" I say " Well actually , you can take so and so. However, you can't bring it. Now say I was already there I could ask you to bring so and so."
Good looking woman says " Really? Guess what? I'm not coming and your not getting any for awhile! ". Me " Well actually ......." ( face palm). Lmao

Dear grammer, if bring/take set you off. you would totally flip out in the south.
we do not bring/take we tote, and carry
we "carry" grand ma to the store and "tote" the groceries home
if we are in a hurry we just grab it or have someone pick it up
if they are to busy, that is ok, nephew will fetch it for you
sincerely the south

 

[slym2none]

Dear "The South"

Please don't make it sound like every Southern state is the same as yours. In my area, no one "carries" a person anywhere, and no one says "totes" unless you are a young person trying to foreshorten the word "totally".

Sincerely, Not All Of The South Is The Same

 

[odorf]

Dear "The South"

Please don't make it sound like every Southern state is the same as yours. In my area, no one "carries" a person anywhere, and no one says "totes" unless you are a young person trying to foreshorten the word "totally".

Sincerely, Not All Of The South Is The Same

Dear not all the south is the same.

you just aint southern enough.

Bless your Heart

Sincerely, The South

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

Dear panties,

We were in agreement from the outset.

Sincerely,
My underwear choices are mine and mine alone

 

[cjokrap]

Dear work,

GFY

Sincerely,
Would rather be home drinking and smoking a cigar

 

[TXCrash]

Dear Ph.D.,

You're stoopid.

Sincerely,

The south.

 

[Temptd2]

Dear Ph.D.,

You're stoopid.

Sincerely,

The south.

Dear The south -

The Ph.D. of whom I spoke was from Loooozeeanna. Maybe that explains it. Although I STILL don't see how it's possible to study THAT much for THAT long and NOT know it's SUPPOSEDLY, not SUPPOSE-ABLY.

Sincerely,
Flabbergasted and NOT in the south