The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

[Yoseff]

Dear back,
You have three days off from work. If I lay on the floor constantly will you please stop with the pain?
Sincerely,
Get back to work

 

[max384]

Dear Homebrewtalk

Happy Thanksgiving!

Sincerely

Max

 

[KayaBrew]

Dear Woodsplitter,

Ha! You only broke 3 of my fingers and I have ten!

Sincerely,

Thanks for the Percocet. Happy Thanksgiving!

 

[biochemedic]

Dear Surly and Programmed in India,

Just keep hitting zero....that almost always gets you to to a human operator.

Sincerely,
I also hate voice prompt phone systems.

 

[Qhrumphf]

Dear Niece,

Shut the hell up. I'm trying to take a nap.

Sincerely,
You're a rotten child and no one will be surprised when you spend 8-18 locked up.

 

[biochemedic]

Dear Niece,

Shut the hell up. I'm trying to take a nap.

Sincerely,
You're a rotten child and no one will be surprised when you spend 8-18 locked up.

Dear Not Surprised,

You're cranky when you're tired. Those kids should get off the lawn too...

Sincerely,
Your Bottle Cellar sounds like fun!

 

[kirbcheck]

Dear SWMBO,

No worries, I'm not getting any ideas. Three kids in Three years sounds terrifying. If we're going to be outnumbered #1 better be out of diapers. Now have a drink and let the good times roll... Is it New Years Eve yet?

Sincerely,

I love my kids... Honestly...

 

[SupervisingChildren]

Dear loves his kids,
Got 2 of my own and not looking for more. Misses has other ideas.
Sincerely,
Gonna be in for another loving surprise one of these days... maybe

 

[GuldTuborg]

Dear loves his kids,
Got 2 of my own and not looking for more. Misses has other ideas.
Sincerely,
Gonna be in for another loving surprise one of these days... maybe

Dear Gonna...,

That's quite the Freudian slip. Thanks for the laugh.

Sincerely,
The Spelling Nazi

 

[SupervisingChildren]

Dear Gonna...,

That's quite the Freudian slip. Thanks for the laugh.

Sincerely,
The Spelling Nazi

Dear spelling nazi,
Hoping I missed yesterday,
Sincerely,
+ 2 -0

 

[odorf]

Dear Garbage man.

I know the rule is only 5 bags
and i have 6, might as well grab it anyway,
cause it will sit right thar in the sun, marinating.
the sun making the plastic bag break down.
waiting on you to grab it next week.
then the bag will rip, if you dont pick up the spilt trash
you KNOW, I will call dispatch and whine like a 3 week old puppy

sincerely stop counting bags,and throw them on the damn truck

 

[Onkel_Udo]

Dear throw them on the damn truck,

That is what neighbors are for.

Sincerely,

Avid recycler

 

[GuldTuborg]

Dear stop counting bags,

You need bigger bags.

Sincerely,
Mr Big Sack

 

[kirbcheck]

Dear Mr. Big Sack,

Sounds like you're compensating for something to me.

Sincerely,

Don't make me break out the "Yo Mamma" jokes

 

[flars]

Dear Stop Counting Bags,

And next week everyone will have six bags.
And next week everyone will rant.
You know the rules.

Put your extra bag in the keezer until the next week to keep it from marinating.

Why do you have so much garbage?

Signed,
Donagivad

 

[Willy_Liverdye]

Dear Trampoline

I know you're out there and I know what you're thinking, "C'mon chickensh**".

You best mind your manners. I put you together and I can take you apart. I'm the man of the house and I can do whatever she lets me so you better watch your P's and Q's.

By the way I heard what you said when I was mowing the yard yesterday. You really think you're special sitting there in my way with that look...I'm getting tired of that look!

Sure you might of won last time but you got lucky. If you were just a little bit bigger I would've nailed that back-flip so it's all your fault.

What?!?

That's it! I've had enough!

When I finish these beers it's ON! You and me bud. Mano a mano

What's that Dear? All over the floor?

Damn!

It's your lucky day Trampoline.

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

Dear Lucky Day,

I wasn't going to say anything, but I heard the springy bastard insulted your wife/mother/child. It also said something about being an absolute coward that can't hack it anymore I think.

Sincerely,
The Instigator.

 

[kirbcheck]

Dear Instigator,

Your father was a hamster and your mother smelled of elderberries!

Sincerely,

An innocent bystander

 

[Kirkwooder]

Dear friends of friends that invited yourself to our house for opening day of deer season and stayed for a week,

Please don't come back, but if you do, do not insult my home brew and then continue to drink an a$$load of it!

Please do not eat us out of house and home, there are grocery stores everywhere, at least stop and grab a bag of chips.

Please do not invite yourself to go to my MIL for thanksgiving dinner, especially when we aren't even going, and she isn't planning on making anything for anyone but herself.

Please feel free to step in and wash some of those dishes you dirtied, or any of the huge pile of towels you have used. You have made your selves welcome to the remote, the refrigerator, my home brew, my ammunition, my tree stand and a hundred other things, don't be shy to make yourself welcome to the vacuum or a dish cloth.

Sincerely,
No you are not welcome back next week, or ever for that matter!

 

[Singletrack]

Dear "No you are not welcome back,"

I came here to rant about elderly visitors with unending, repetitive, inane conversations during my morning-after coffee. Thank you for putting my petty annoyances in perspective.

They enjoyed my beer and didn't drink too much.

Sincerely,

Now I'm just embarrassed

 

[Renegades_Brew]

Dear Work this week...

Please be kind. I know I had most of last week off and that the way this week's schedule looks is to make up for that... But is five 16 hour days in a row really necessary followed by a 10 hour Saturday???

Sincerely,

Really going to need a home brew this weekend...

 

[Kharnynb]

dear "you are not welcome back"

that's what saying no the first time is for, and if not listened too, that's what ammo is for....

Sincerely,
If you don't call first, you ain't getting in.

 

[Kirkwooder]

Dear, If you don't call first,

I certainly am not shy about letting my displeasure be known, however, SWMBO kept me from killing our unwelcome guests. I have informed her she will not be able to keep me from committing homicide if they return.

I'm almost certain that it would be justifiable!

Sincerely,
The guns are loaded and waiting.

 

[slym2none]

Dear Everyone,

Please, for the love of all you hold holy, stop using "of" when you mean "have". "Could of" doesn't even make sense. I understand they sound the same while speaking, but as written, it slowly kills a piece of my soul when I see intelligent people getting something so wrong.

Sincerely, The Most Dangerous Grammar Nazi You Might Ever Meet But Probably Not

 

[kirbcheck]

Dear grammar nazi,

I have similar quirks. Like listening to people mispronounce the word etcetera.

Sincerely,

Your cousin the diction nazi

 

[slym2none]

Dear Cousin,

Don't get me started. The "of" thing is just the tip of my iceberg...

Sincerely, Sometimes I Hate The Internet

 

[Singletrack]

Dear Grammar,

People that don't worry about grammar risk appearing less smarter.

I think the word "that" in the sentence above should be "who," but I seem to be the only one who/that thinks that, so maybe I'm wrong. Is there anyone who/that knows?

Sincerely,

Not sure why I care, but I guess I do

 

[slym2none]

Dear me,

Please don't say anything...

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/showthread.php?p=7243202#post7243202

Sincerely,

 

[slym2none]

Dear Grammar,

People that don't worry about grammar risk appearing less smarter.

I think the word "that" in the sentence above should be "who," but I seem to be the only one who/that thinks that, so maybe I'm wrong. Is there anyone who/that knows?

Sincerely,

Not sure why I care, but I guess I do

Dear Not Sure,

It's "who".

Sincerely,

 

[flars]

Oh Dear,

Less smarter

Sincerely,