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Dear South
I was fi'in to say the same gal dang thing
Sincerely, the x in fixin' is pretty much silent yall
The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread
- Thread starter Scele
- Start date
Help Support Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum:
Dear South
I was fi'in to say the same gal dang thing
Sincerely, the x in fixin' is pretty much silent yall
Dear sincerely,
Eat a star. Rainbow first.
Eat a star. Rainbow first.
Dear Southern grammar grows on you,
Damn straight! My grammar got gone once in awhile when I lived in N.C.
Sincerely,
Displaced Yankee Southerner
Kirkwooder
Emperor of all things nobody cares about
Dear red kettle bell ringers,
We all know why you are there and what you are doing. A simple "ding" "ding" every minute or so is more than enough to remind everyone within a hundred miles that you are seeking out financial gain. Those that are inclined to do so will offer a donation weather or not the bell is ringing. There is no need for you to constantly ring your bell in an attempt to annoy anther nickle form a passerby, and for heavens sake, there certainly is no need to ring the bell when there is no one anywhere even remotely in your vicinity. Humans will not materialise from thin air and drop change in your kettle, no matter how hard you ring your little bell. There is no need to have the sound of constant and never ending bell ringing chase every single customer through the entire store. The sound of your bell should not be able to be heard at the very rear of a mega supper market over top of the murmur made by cash registers, coolers, squeaking cart wheels, din of shoppers, and PA announcements.
The holiday season is stressful enough without the added aggravation of your unrelenting cacoffiny of noise. If your intention is truly to do some good in this world, then please, do not do your damndest to drive those on the verge of a mental breakdown over the edge.
Sincerely,
The Guy about to Shove that bell up your A$$!
We all know why you are there and what you are doing. A simple "ding" "ding" every minute or so is more than enough to remind everyone within a hundred miles that you are seeking out financial gain. Those that are inclined to do so will offer a donation weather or not the bell is ringing. There is no need for you to constantly ring your bell in an attempt to annoy anther nickle form a passerby, and for heavens sake, there certainly is no need to ring the bell when there is no one anywhere even remotely in your vicinity. Humans will not materialise from thin air and drop change in your kettle, no matter how hard you ring your little bell. There is no need to have the sound of constant and never ending bell ringing chase every single customer through the entire store. The sound of your bell should not be able to be heard at the very rear of a mega supper market over top of the murmur made by cash registers, coolers, squeaking cart wheels, din of shoppers, and PA announcements.
The holiday season is stressful enough without the added aggravation of your unrelenting cacoffiny of noise. If your intention is truly to do some good in this world, then please, do not do your damndest to drive those on the verge of a mental breakdown over the edge.
Sincerely,
The Guy about to Shove that bell up your A$$!
TheCADJockey
ALL YOUR BASE
Dear Cacoffiny,
Sincerely,
Cacophony Lover
Sincerely,
Cacophony Lover
Dear Homeless Beggar Guy who accosted me while I was pumping gas,
You were silent, like a ninja. You are either evil or absolutely brilliant or both. You were walking through the pumps begging for money from a captive audience. I wish you wouldn't have silently snuck up on me from behind. Then re-visited me when everyone else turned you down. I did pray for your brother Tim as requested though I do not know how much stock I have with the guy upstairs. Also, please do not spread the idea of begging gas stations for money or food, and if you are looking for food please pick something that sounds better than preserved gas station fish.
Sincerely,
Almost had to change my undershorts
You were silent, like a ninja. You are either evil or absolutely brilliant or both. You were walking through the pumps begging for money from a captive audience. I wish you wouldn't have silently snuck up on me from behind. Then re-visited me when everyone else turned you down. I did pray for your brother Tim as requested though I do not know how much stock I have with the guy upstairs. Also, please do not spread the idea of begging gas stations for money or food, and if you are looking for food please pick something that sounds better than preserved gas station fish.
Sincerely,
Almost had to change my undershorts
Ace_Club
Well-Known Member
Dear TxCrash,
Is that signature appropriate for this forum?
Sincerely,
A concerned individual.
PatrickGoss
Well-Known Member
Dear Ace,
That was solid.
Sincerely,
Not concerned at all.
That was solid.
Sincerely,
Not concerned at all.
Dear Ace,
It's OK, a moderator would never say anything innappropriate.
Sincerely,
Testing
Beernik
Well-Known Member
Dear South,
In high school, I dated a girl from San Antonio. After our first date, she asked me if I wanted to "get down." The enthusiasm of my answer made her realize we had different definitions for "get down." She meant, "Get out of the car and walk her to the door."
No worries, though. After the second date, she preferred my definition.
Sincerely,
Every story should have a happy ending
In high school, I dated a girl from San Antonio. After our first date, she asked me if I wanted to "get down." The enthusiasm of my answer made her realize we had different definitions for "get down." She meant, "Get out of the car and walk her to the door."
No worries, though. After the second date, she preferred my definition.
Sincerely,
Every story should have a happy ending
Cheesy_Goodness
Well-Known Member
Dear South,
We have more similarities in language than differences, but the differences can lead to confusion. You cannot "put up" something under the sink. That's not how up and down work.
Sincerely,
A yinzer who would very much like to red up some people's language.
PS: It's not all bad though. "Rode hard and put up wet" is probably my favorite saying of all time.
We have more similarities in language than differences, but the differences can lead to confusion. You cannot "put up" something under the sink. That's not how up and down work.
Sincerely,
A yinzer who would very much like to red up some people's language.
PS: It's not all bad though. "Rode hard and put up wet" is probably my favorite saying of all time.
Dear yinzer,
Had to google that but wasn't much of a headache.
Fixin' to order me a coke by mashin' the button on the coke machine. Think I'll have a 7-up or maybe a Mountain Dew.
Sincerely,
Really southern and kaint hepit
Had to google that but wasn't much of a headache.
Fixin' to order me a coke by mashin' the button on the coke machine. Think I'll have a 7-up or maybe a Mountain Dew.
Sincerely,
Really southern and kaint hepit
Dear Work,
Honestly I am quite impressed that with all the "political correctness" that is going around the U.S. and how we deal with holidays, you still put up full Christmas decorations. Including a giant tree in the main offices of both buildings. Complete with garland around desks and lights for those who want them. In this day and age when people are willing to complain about anything a public school district does that is not inclusive of all parties. It is nice to see that we aren't reduced to having no decorations because we are afraid of getting sued or receiving bad publicity. We willingly wish people Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and anything else you can think of. And while I might not decorate my office at either location because of my desire to spend my time actually doing work instead of decorating. I am quite happy that there are people decorating their offices and the interior of the building.
Sincerally,
One slightly overworked, but happy to celebrate the holidays employee.
Honestly I am quite impressed that with all the "political correctness" that is going around the U.S. and how we deal with holidays, you still put up full Christmas decorations. Including a giant tree in the main offices of both buildings. Complete with garland around desks and lights for those who want them. In this day and age when people are willing to complain about anything a public school district does that is not inclusive of all parties. It is nice to see that we aren't reduced to having no decorations because we are afraid of getting sued or receiving bad publicity. We willingly wish people Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and anything else you can think of. And while I might not decorate my office at either location because of my desire to spend my time actually doing work instead of decorating. I am quite happy that there are people decorating their offices and the interior of the building.
Sincerally,
One slightly overworked, but happy to celebrate the holidays employee.
PS. The Hanukkah music blasting through the halls during passing periods is a nice touch.
gratus fermentatio
Well-Known Member
Dear MT Dept of Revenue, Liquor Control Division:
Why did you force retailers to pull the Goose Island Bourbon County Regal Rye Stout? You only allow 13% ABV for such beverages & it was exceeded by a mere 0.5%? SERIOUSLY? You pulled it ALL over 0.5% ABV? You couldn't make an exception? You couldn't allow the sales to take place in a liquor store instead of a grocery store? I can buy 16% ABV wine in the same store, but not a seasonal specialty brew at 13.5% because it's 0.5% over your limit. A few years ago I bought 14% ABV Samischlaus & that was OK, but now all of a sudden 13.5% ABV isn't? Good to see that you put my tax dollars to such good use, I feel so protected now. I'd really like to smack your entire dept with a stick right now.
Sincerely, Bent out of shape in MT.
Why did you force retailers to pull the Goose Island Bourbon County Regal Rye Stout? You only allow 13% ABV for such beverages & it was exceeded by a mere 0.5%? SERIOUSLY? You pulled it ALL over 0.5% ABV? You couldn't make an exception? You couldn't allow the sales to take place in a liquor store instead of a grocery store? I can buy 16% ABV wine in the same store, but not a seasonal specialty brew at 13.5% because it's 0.5% over your limit. A few years ago I bought 14% ABV Samischlaus & that was OK, but now all of a sudden 13.5% ABV isn't? Good to see that you put my tax dollars to such good use, I feel so protected now. I'd really like to smack your entire dept with a stick right now.
Sincerely, Bent out of shape in MT.
Dear fellow road users,
Indicators are used before, not after changing lanes or turning left or right....
Sincerely,
the nearly dead cyclist that can't read minds.
Indicators are used before, not after changing lanes or turning left or right....
Sincerely,
the nearly dead cyclist that can't read minds.
Kirkwooder
Emperor of all things nobody cares about
Dear Cyclist,
Buy a car, that's what the roads are for. If you wish to share the road with vehicles that travel at 10 times the speed and weigh 100 times more, then be advised YOU ARE TAKING THAT RISK.
Sincerely,
All the drivers annoyed by the non tax paying, cyclist that think they own the roads.
Buy a car, that's what the roads are for. If you wish to share the road with vehicles that travel at 10 times the speed and weigh 100 times more, then be advised YOU ARE TAKING THAT RISK.
Sincerely,
All the drivers annoyed by the non tax paying, cyclist that think they own the roads.
Dear Cyclist,
Turn signals are like brake lights, indicators of action, not intention.
Out here in the middle of nowhere they aren't used at all, as everyone knows that Joe turns left at this road every day, no signal needed. At least that's Joe's belief.
Sincerely,
An ex-city boy now in the country.
Turn signals are like brake lights, indicators of action, not intention.
Out here in the middle of nowhere they aren't used at all, as everyone knows that Joe turns left at this road every day, no signal needed. At least that's Joe's belief.
Sincerely,
An ex-city boy now in the country.
Dear driver,
In finland noone pays road tax, we just pay car tax if you own one, which i do, but the wife uses it mostly.
I don't drive on the road, but have to cross it a few times on my way to work.
I'd prefer not to get flattened by morons who are incapable of giving way when they are required to do so or even indicating they will cross my path.
Sincerely,
the person who lessens the traffic jams so you can drive faster.
by the way, your might makes right attitude is very agressive and you don't have to shout in mega-caps just because you have no actual argument.
In finland noone pays road tax, we just pay car tax if you own one, which i do, but the wife uses it mostly.
I don't drive on the road, but have to cross it a few times on my way to work.
I'd prefer not to get flattened by morons who are incapable of giving way when they are required to do so or even indicating they will cross my path.
Sincerely,
the person who lessens the traffic jams so you can drive faster.
by the way, your might makes right attitude is very agressive and you don't have to shout in mega-caps just because you have no actual argument.
Dear Cyclist,
Turn signals are like brake lights, indicators of action, not intention.
Out here in the middle of nowhere they aren't used at all, as everyone knows that Joe turns left at this road every day, no signal needed. At least that's Joe's belief.
Sincerely,
An ex-city boy now in the country.
Dear former city boy,
Well actually, signals are supposed to be an indicator of intent, not asking for permission. Becoming action indicators in case you missed the car hurtling after you is a reaction to people actively blocking those who do signal.
Sincerely,
Most jerk drivers think it is someone asking to be let in.
PS, it really is the cause of many brown-fills in the pants of motorcycle riders.
BBQB
Well-Known Member
Dear yeller,
Does your truck have balls hanging from the hitch? Why are you doing 150 when the speed limit is 35? Do you really need all three lanes on a lightly used road?
Sincerely,
One less yeller on the interstate, pardon my intrusion on the surface street.
P.S. Most cyclists are, indeed, road tax payers and own vehicles used much less than your jacked up truck with balls hanging from it.
ThomasPaine
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Dec 7, 2013
- Messages
- 213
- Reaction score
- 44
Dear Wife,
You ate my deer meat and got the runs 30 mins later and now you will never eat deer meat again. I will now make sure you get the runs from all other meats until you come back around to deer. Because I won't stop shooting and eating deer.
Sincerely, the man you think poisoned you.
You ate my deer meat and got the runs 30 mins later and now you will never eat deer meat again. I will now make sure you get the runs from all other meats until you come back around to deer. Because I won't stop shooting and eating deer.
Sincerely, the man you think poisoned you.
Dear wife poisoner,
May not be a good idea to admit poisoning your wife on the internets. The internets have a long memory.
Sincerely,
Your local police
PS. It probably wasn't the venison, it was probably the cheap boxed wine she drank with it.
Kirkwooder
Emperor of all things nobody cares about
Dear one less Yeller,
No my truck does not have a set of bull balls hanging from the hitch, as I find them nearly as annoying as cyclists that ride their bikes down the center of a highway, because, as they claim, they have the right of way, and can do just that.
Cyclist are a safety hazard on any road where the speed limit is greater than 35, and should be banned. The speed difference is just too great and if it takes me yelling the obvious, at the top of my lungs, to save the life of some poor fool trying to save the planet one drop of gas at a time, and saves me the hassle of having to clean the carnage of that same fool cyclist from the undercaridge of my truck then so be it. And if an accident happens when a car is swerving to miss a cyclist that is traveling at, yes, 1/10th the speed, or roughly 5-6 miles an hour, of a vehicle traveling at normal highway speeds, and some child is injured or killed, I'll have wished I had done more than just yell.
Sincerely,
The Guy willing to Say what Almost Every other Driver on the Road is Thinking.
No my truck does not have a set of bull balls hanging from the hitch, as I find them nearly as annoying as cyclists that ride their bikes down the center of a highway, because, as they claim, they have the right of way, and can do just that.
Cyclist are a safety hazard on any road where the speed limit is greater than 35, and should be banned. The speed difference is just too great and if it takes me yelling the obvious, at the top of my lungs, to save the life of some poor fool trying to save the planet one drop of gas at a time, and saves me the hassle of having to clean the carnage of that same fool cyclist from the undercaridge of my truck then so be it. And if an accident happens when a car is swerving to miss a cyclist that is traveling at, yes, 1/10th the speed, or roughly 5-6 miles an hour, of a vehicle traveling at normal highway speeds, and some child is injured or killed, I'll have wished I had done more than just yell.
Sincerely,
The Guy willing to Say what Almost Every other Driver on the Road is Thinking.
slym2none
"Lazy extract brewer."
Dear The Guy -
I hear you. I seriously do. Heck, I ride my bicycle and have to take some streets to do so, mostly in my 25 MPH-zone neighbourhood. People that drive are bat**** insane a lot of the times, so I do what any reasonable person would do - get off the road. Weird thing is, it seems a good majority of people ride a bike that can't handle even riding on the side of the road for a few seconds - tires & rims too skinny & fragile. I am not saying get a mountain bike, just get something that can handle running over a rock in a gravel driveway!
Also, if I am driving and I get stuck behind a line of cars waiting to pass a bicyclist, I do start thinking of things. Things like, I have to insure this car every year. I have to pay taxes on it. I pay for my license & the car's registration. That registration entitles me to the lane of space the car occupies as it goes down the road. Bicyclists pay... nothing. So, they should get off my road when I'm on it.
I even understand about not wanting to hit the bicyclist, and when my lane is clear & there's a cyclist in the other lane and oncoming traffic decides to veer into my lane I am driving in, I am being put into danger. The law says you have to slow down and/or stop for blockages in your lane, but people would rather take the chance of ramming their 3000+ pound vehicle into my 3000+ pound vehicle at combined speeds of 70MPH or more, than slowing down and waiting for a bike that really, shouldn't even be there.
Like I said, I ride my bicycle... and I hate the cyclists that take up my public roads & act like they are the only one on them.
The ones that dress up like Lance Armstrong are the worst, too...
Sincerely, Had To Get That Off My Chest But Wouldn't Go So Far As To Tell A Cyclist To Buy A Damn Car
I hear you. I seriously do. Heck, I ride my bicycle and have to take some streets to do so, mostly in my 25 MPH-zone neighbourhood. People that drive are bat**** insane a lot of the times, so I do what any reasonable person would do - get off the road. Weird thing is, it seems a good majority of people ride a bike that can't handle even riding on the side of the road for a few seconds - tires & rims too skinny & fragile. I am not saying get a mountain bike, just get something that can handle running over a rock in a gravel driveway!
Also, if I am driving and I get stuck behind a line of cars waiting to pass a bicyclist, I do start thinking of things. Things like, I have to insure this car every year. I have to pay taxes on it. I pay for my license & the car's registration. That registration entitles me to the lane of space the car occupies as it goes down the road. Bicyclists pay... nothing. So, they should get off my road when I'm on it.
I even understand about not wanting to hit the bicyclist, and when my lane is clear & there's a cyclist in the other lane and oncoming traffic decides to veer into my lane I am driving in, I am being put into danger. The law says you have to slow down and/or stop for blockages in your lane, but people would rather take the chance of ramming their 3000+ pound vehicle into my 3000+ pound vehicle at combined speeds of 70MPH or more, than slowing down and waiting for a bike that really, shouldn't even be there.
Like I said, I ride my bicycle... and I hate the cyclists that take up my public roads & act like they are the only one on them.
The ones that dress up like Lance Armstrong are the worst, too...
Sincerely, Had To Get That Off My Chest But Wouldn't Go So Far As To Tell A Cyclist To Buy A Damn Car
Dear Had To Get That Off My Chest But Wouldn't Go So Far As To Tell A Cyclist To Buy A Damn Car,
The clear @ss crack and ball sack disturbs you with the body suit? Me too.
That being said. Encountered a bicyclist yesterday that moved faster then me in traffic. Score.
Sincerely,
If I could bike to work, I would in a heart beat.
Dear that guy,
A cyclist going 5 mph has no business on a road other than a residential 25.
What about the cyclist going 15-20 on a 35? One with three lanes, and way under capacity. What if I told you that the cyclist would make it to the next light before it turns for you, 90% of the time?
Sincerely,
That cyclist. And I have the gazillion blinky lights to prove it. I'm riding in the center of my lane because it really scares me when your truck with balls is in the same lane as me. Use the other two.
P.S. I'm not so worried about the environment as my own sanity. Riding avoids the freeway by way of train.
P.P.S. Is there really someone doing 6 mph on a 50 mile road?
A cyclist going 5 mph has no business on a road other than a residential 25.
What about the cyclist going 15-20 on a 35? One with three lanes, and way under capacity. What if I told you that the cyclist would make it to the next light before it turns for you, 90% of the time?
Sincerely,
That cyclist. And I have the gazillion blinky lights to prove it. I'm riding in the center of my lane because it really scares me when your truck with balls is in the same lane as me. Use the other two.
P.S. I'm not so worried about the environment as my own sanity. Riding avoids the freeway by way of train.
P.P.S. Is there really someone doing 6 mph on a 50 mile road?
Beernik
Well-Known Member
Dear That Cyclist,
The road back home to my old house was in the middle of nowhere, 55mph, and averaged a 2% to 4% grade uphill. I could only manage 5mph getting back up it after a ride. I never felt like I was getting pushed off the road because there was so little traffic on it.
Conversely, the only times I felt I was close to getting run off the road was in the city on slower streets with lots of traffic.
Sincerely,
It sucked living at the top of a long hill.
Dear Wife,
Yes, beer is on my Christmas list.
Sincerely,
The first step to admitting you have a problem is putting it on your Christmas list
The road back home to my old house was in the middle of nowhere, 55mph, and averaged a 2% to 4% grade uphill. I could only manage 5mph getting back up it after a ride. I never felt like I was getting pushed off the road because there was so little traffic on it.
Conversely, the only times I felt I was close to getting run off the road was in the city on slower streets with lots of traffic.
Sincerely,
It sucked living at the top of a long hill.
Dear Wife,
Yes, beer is on my Christmas list.
Sincerely,
The first step to admitting you have a problem is putting it on your Christmas list
rlmiller10
Well-Known Member
Dear Cyclist,
If you can ride at traffic speeds so you are not holding up traffic and if you obey all the traffic rules (no running stop signs or running red lights when no one is coming) then I am am all for you being on the road. I will even be extra careful around you as you are delicate as a flower compared to my pickup (no bull balls). But if you think you can peddle down the center of the lane at 15 in a 45 zone (obstructing traffic) and then "share" the lane with me to get to the front of the line so you can run the red light while I wait for it to turn. Then a FYou and get on damn bike path which was built especially for you.
Sincerely,
A fort collins driver.
If you can ride at traffic speeds so you are not holding up traffic and if you obey all the traffic rules (no running stop signs or running red lights when no one is coming) then I am am all for you being on the road. I will even be extra careful around you as you are delicate as a flower compared to my pickup (no bull balls). But if you think you can peddle down the center of the lane at 15 in a 45 zone (obstructing traffic) and then "share" the lane with me to get to the front of the line so you can run the red light while I wait for it to turn. Then a FYou and get on damn bike path which was built especially for you.
Sincerely,
A fort collins driver.
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2013
- Messages
- 4,302
- Reaction score
- 5,124
Dear would be legislators a.k.a. butt hurt drivers.
Most state laws demand that you give a cyclist 3 feet of room when you pass. If you ever took driver ed or really learned the rules of the road you would know this. Don't like it? Run for office, become a legislator, and change the law.
Sincerely, Not one ounce of sympathy.
Most state laws demand that you give a cyclist 3 feet of room when you pass. If you ever took driver ed or really learned the rules of the road you would know this. Don't like it? Run for office, become a legislator, and change the law.
Sincerely, Not one ounce of sympathy.
Dear Americans/brits.
Spending some money on actual bicycle paths will reduce the pain of both drivers and cyclists a lot.
Sincerely a dutchmen living in finland, where they also somehow managed to have decent cyclepaths.
ps. real cycle paths, not these kind of jokes:
Spending some money on actual bicycle paths will reduce the pain of both drivers and cyclists a lot.
Sincerely a dutchmen living in finland, where they also somehow managed to have decent cyclepaths.
ps. real cycle paths, not these kind of jokes:
Cheesy_Goodness
Well-Known Member
Dear bicyclists/drivers,
I know we have our differences, but can we agree that mopeds are even more annoying?
Sincerely,
I've seen good and bad drivers and bicyclists, but never a good moped.
I know we have our differences, but can we agree that mopeds are even more annoying?
Sincerely,
I've seen good and bad drivers and bicyclists, but never a good moped.
Dear Bicycle subthread,
There is nothing wrong with people on two wheels on the road. This is so long as they are on the road safely and following the rules of the road. This also means drivers have to be respectful too. If there is a bike lane, use it. If you are on the road, obey the f*king traffic lights. Around here if there is no shoulder the rightmost 2 feet is allocated to people on bikes, please do not ride 2-4 abreast when pretending that you are lance armstrong riding in the tour du frenchies. And to those on 4 wheels, you need to be more patient with others on the road. No matter how many wheels they have. I see the same aggression against your fellow 4 wheeled engine mobiles as is shared with our 2 wheeled leg mobile riders.
Sincerely,
Just try not to kill/maim/injure each other
There is nothing wrong with people on two wheels on the road. This is so long as they are on the road safely and following the rules of the road. This also means drivers have to be respectful too. If there is a bike lane, use it. If you are on the road, obey the f*king traffic lights. Around here if there is no shoulder the rightmost 2 feet is allocated to people on bikes, please do not ride 2-4 abreast when pretending that you are lance armstrong riding in the tour du frenchies. And to those on 4 wheels, you need to be more patient with others on the road. No matter how many wheels they have. I see the same aggression against your fellow 4 wheeled engine mobiles as is shared with our 2 wheeled leg mobile riders.
Sincerely,
Just try not to kill/maim/injure each other
Cheesy_Goodness
Well-Known Member
Dear Keurig users,
I realize it's a super handy appliance and probably has a few benefits over a drip coffee maker. I've got no problem with you using it every day. But, if your justification for using it is "it doesn't waste coffee," please look in your trash can and tell me again about waste reduction.
Sincerely,
Reinventing the wheel
I realize it's a super handy appliance and probably has a few benefits over a drip coffee maker. I've got no problem with you using it every day. But, if your justification for using it is "it doesn't waste coffee," please look in your trash can and tell me again about waste reduction.
Sincerely,
Reinventing the wheel
