Dear Mezmo,
Whatever heats your sparge water I guess.
The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread
- Thread starter Scele
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Whatever heats your sparge water I guess.
Dear Penis,
"I don't think I like you anymore... You used to be so happy smiling up at me, now your always staring at the floor..."
Sincerely,
Not a huge fan of Rodney Carrington, but maybe this once
"I don't think I like you anymore... You used to be so happy smiling up at me, now your always staring at the floor..."
Sincerely,
Not a huge fan of Rodney Carrington, but maybe this once
Dear
There's no future in Hula. It's a shaky business.
Sincerely,
One-legged country line dancer
There's no future in Hula. It's a shaky business.
Sincerely,
One-legged country line dancer
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CreamyGoodness
Well-Known Member
Dear Friends and Associates,
Please stop boinking people other than the people you are supposed to be boinking.
Sincerely,
The Guy Who Helps Deal with the Fall-out from Said Unsanctioned Boinking
Please stop boinking people other than the people you are supposed to be boinking.
Sincerely,
The Guy Who Helps Deal with the Fall-out from Said Unsanctioned Boinking
PlexVector
Mellow Goose Brewing
......
Dear chicken:
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/_dPlkFPowCc/mqdefault.jpg
[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dPlkFPowCc[/ame]
Dear PlexVector,
I have a hard time admitting to people that I watched a guy play with his chicken on the internet!
Sincerely,
I want to know what possessed the guy to make his chicken wobble and film it?
drainbamage
Keep HBT weird.
Dear work phone,
STOP RINGING.
Sincerely,
You're ruining perfectly good HBT time (and my lingering shreds of sanity FWIW)
STOP RINGING.
Sincerely,
You're ruining perfectly good HBT time (and my lingering shreds of sanity FWIW)
PlexVector
Mellow Goose Brewing
SupervisingChildren
Well-Known Member
Dear guy dealing with the fallout from unsanctioned boinking,
Tell them to go boink themselves.
Sincerely,
Hates being caught up in others' drama
SupervisingChildren
Well-Known Member
Dear self,
Today is the day I start hearing about unsanctioned boinking for the next several days. Please drink more DIPA'S to help deal with it.
Sincerely,
Getting caught up in the drama
****
gratus fermentatio
Well-Known Member
Dear management:
Thanks sooooo much for trying so hard to make this day as difficult as possible for the entire dept. I know it was tough to get those 4 other departments to work together to make things as screwed up as they were, and to then tie our hands by making us a guy short while the other 2 are on vacation...
F'ing brilliant.
Sincerely, Waiting to hear your complaints about overtime.
Thanks sooooo much for trying so hard to make this day as difficult as possible for the entire dept. I know it was tough to get those 4 other departments to work together to make things as screwed up as they were, and to then tie our hands by making us a guy short while the other 2 are on vacation...
F'ing brilliant.
Sincerely, Waiting to hear your complaints about overtime.
TheCADJockey
ALL YOUR BASE
Dear Buffalo,
Why you gotta be so hot? You've got nothing to prove to these other swampy, sweaty cities. Chill bro.
Sincerely,
80 is Tropical
Why you gotta be so hot? You've got nothing to prove to these other swampy, sweaty cities. Chill bro.
Sincerely,
80 is Tropical
Beernik
Well-Known Member
Dear Hotels,
If it is your off season and the hotel is 80% vacant, please, please, please, put business travelers in one wing of the hotel and holiday travelers in the other wing of the hotel.
It's easy to tell the difference. Business traveler: single traveler in business attire, usually a hotel gold club member or better. Holiday traveler: usually a couple in casual clothes and 20 screaming, running, jumping children.
Business traveler just wants to ****ing sleep and get back on the road to the next meeting. Holiday traveler just wants to run and scream and jump around until midnight. At least their ****ing kids do.
Sincerely,
Business traveler
If it is your off season and the hotel is 80% vacant, please, please, please, put business travelers in one wing of the hotel and holiday travelers in the other wing of the hotel.
It's easy to tell the difference. Business traveler: single traveler in business attire, usually a hotel gold club member or better. Holiday traveler: usually a couple in casual clothes and 20 screaming, running, jumping children.
Business traveler just wants to ****ing sleep and get back on the road to the next meeting. Holiday traveler just wants to run and scream and jump around until midnight. At least their ****ing kids do.
Sincerely,
Business traveler
Michigan_Wolfman
Well-Known Member
Dear people protesting against the Confederate Flag and trying to rewrite American History,
Just because you are offended, doesn't mean you are right. And besides, nobody really had any serious issue with the Confederate Flag until some lame ass talking head on the news told you that you had to be offended. From this point forward, just to cover all bases in case someone is going to be "offended" , I will be flying the Confederate Flag (in spite of the fact that I'm not Southern), the Gadsden Flag, and the St. Andrew's Cross of Scotland, right alongside Old Glory.
Sincerely,
Fed up with Political Correctness and all the BS that goes with it.
Just because you are offended, doesn't mean you are right. And besides, nobody really had any serious issue with the Confederate Flag until some lame ass talking head on the news told you that you had to be offended. From this point forward, just to cover all bases in case someone is going to be "offended" , I will be flying the Confederate Flag (in spite of the fact that I'm not Southern), the Gadsden Flag, and the St. Andrew's Cross of Scotland, right alongside Old Glory.
Sincerely,
Fed up with Political Correctness and all the BS that goes with it.
Dear Business Traveler,
I hear you. Getting put in the wing with a high school marching band on a road trip is also a treat! Not much sleeping going on that night. And to make matters worse, it was my local high school's band.
Sincerely,
Another tired business traveler
gratus fermentatio
Well-Known Member
Dear WX Gods:
Thank you for the rain, we needed it.
Sincerely all of western Montana.
Thank you for the rain, we needed it.
Sincerely all of western Montana.
Dear MLS All-Stars,
I take it you've never watched "The Harry Kane Show". First aired 1/1/2015, and a number of fantastic episodes since. Looking forward to a great new episode in about a half an hour.
Sincerely,
Come On You Spurs!
I take it you've never watched "The Harry Kane Show". First aired 1/1/2015, and a number of fantastic episodes since. Looking forward to a great new episode in about a half an hour.
Sincerely,
Come On You Spurs!
Dear Tom Brady -
PHHHTHTHTHTHTHTHTHTHTHTH!!!!
Signed -
Hates Cheaters
PHHHTHTHTHTHTHTHTHTHTHTH!!!!
Signed -
Hates Cheaters
Dear GM Engineers from the 1990's,
I officially hate you with an unending passion. Seriously, having to partially drop the engine to change the high-pressure steering hose that was already made by the lowest bidder. to add insult to injury you have to also have to disconnect the return hose from the rack to get enough clearance to remove the high pressure line from the pump.
I get it...it was all about the production efficiency but a 3/8" hole (which we will be drilling) in the reinforcement bracket and add 2" to both lines and the world would have been a better place.
Sincerely,
A guy that spent 2 hours replacing your horribly designed hose in the middle of a race
I officially hate you with an unending passion. Seriously, having to partially drop the engine to change the high-pressure steering hose that was already made by the lowest bidder. to add insult to injury you have to also have to disconnect the return hose from the rack to get enough clearance to remove the high pressure line from the pump.
I get it...it was all about the production efficiency but a 3/8" hole (which we will be drilling) in the reinforcement bracket and add 2" to both lines and the world would have been a better place.
Sincerely,
A guy that spent 2 hours replacing your horribly designed hose in the middle of a race
Black Island Brewer
An Ode to Beer
Dear Earning More Beer,
You'll never outrun your fork (or pint glass). Eat less, and exercise to get fit.
Sincerely,
Been there, done that
Dear Earning More Beer,
I feel your pain, very much literally. I just dragged a 200 pound sled across a parking lot 22 times. I'm almost back down to the weight I used to be before I started brewing and drinking beer all the time and working back to where I was in my early 20s before I spent most of my work day driving around town eating like crap and packing on pounds. 25 lbs down, 75 pounds to go.
Sincerely,
After this water, a well earned pint.
I feel your pain, very much literally. I just dragged a 200 pound sled across a parking lot 22 times. I'm almost back down to the weight I used to be before I started brewing and drinking beer all the time and working back to where I was in my early 20s before I spent most of my work day driving around town eating like crap and packing on pounds. 25 lbs down, 75 pounds to go.
Sincerely,
After this water, a well earned pint.
Beernik
Well-Known Member
Dear self,
How do you make 4 pars and still shoot 122 for 18 holes?
Answer: with an army of snowmen, a 10, and a 12.
Sincerely,
I hate links courses.
How do you make 4 pars and still shoot 122 for 18 holes?
Answer: with an army of snowmen, a 10, and a 12.
Sincerely,
I hate links courses.
Cheesy_Goodness
Well-Known Member
Dear bookkeeper,
Debits = Credits. Always. If debits =/= credits, there is a problem. We promise.
Sincerely,
They call it a balance sheet because it's supposed to balance.
Debits = Credits. Always. If debits =/= credits, there is a problem. We promise.
Sincerely,
They call it a balance sheet because it's supposed to balance.
Dear I hate links,
Bless your heart.
Sincerely,
Don't think I have 122 strokes in me
Bless your heart.
Sincerely,
Don't think I have 122 strokes in me
Dear Links,
I gave up on golf when the number of balls I lost exceeded the maximum number of balls I could physically carry. I can't finish 18 holes.
Sincerely,
Not enough balls.
I gave up on golf when the number of balls I lost exceeded the maximum number of balls I could physically carry. I can't finish 18 holes.
Sincerely,
Not enough balls.
Dear notgolf,
When you have 18 holes to fill in 3 hours, a few extra balls might help.
Sincerely,
A very busy man
When you have 18 holes to fill in 3 hours, a few extra balls might help.
Sincerely,
A very busy man
Dear Busyman,
They call me Tres Huevos.
Sincerely,
I got an extra.
They call me Tres Huevos.
Sincerely,
I got an extra.
Dear not/very/extra,
2 is more than enough - 3's a crowd
Sincerely,
Usin' one and savin' t'other:beard:
2 is more than enough - 3's a crowd
Sincerely,
Usin' one and savin' t'other:beard:
Dear Very Busy Man,
At which adult novelty store do I purchase your DVDs?
Sincerely,
Wish I had that kind of stamina.
Dear Wish I Had,
Forget DVDs. You, too, can have amazing virility, increased size, and medical emergency necessitating stamina with my brand new eXXXtend-o-cock™ pills. Cut me a check now for the low, low price of $50,000 and I'll send you a 1 week supply (your weekly subscription will, for your convenience, automatically renew unless you sign and file the attached 37 forms in the presence of a notary public).
Sincerely,
Moneybags
Forget DVDs. You, too, can have amazing virility, increased size, and medical emergency necessitating stamina with my brand new eXXXtend-o-cock™ pills. Cut me a check now for the low, low price of $50,000 and I'll send you a 1 week supply (your weekly subscription will, for your convenience, automatically renew unless you sign and file the attached 37 forms in the presence of a notary public).
Sincerely,
Moneybags
Dear Moneybags,
Without the obligatory far-eastern characters to show how legit it is, i am dismissing your post as spam.
Sincerely,
What was that zip file you wanted me to open again?
Without the obligatory far-eastern characters to show how legit it is, i am dismissing your post as spam.
Sincerely,
What was that zip file you wanted me to open again?
Beernik
Well-Known Member
Dear SWMBO,
I vacuumed and shampooed the upolstery of my car before we make the 10 hour drive to Phoenix. I figured it would be best is the car smelled clean and looked cleanish rather than smell like farts with everything covered in dog fur.
Sincerely,
Lactose intolerant guy with dog
I vacuumed and shampooed the upolstery of my car before we make the 10 hour drive to Phoenix. I figured it would be best is the car smelled clean and looked cleanish rather than smell like farts with everything covered in dog fur.
Sincerely,
Lactose intolerant guy with dog
Beernik
Well-Known Member
Dear Car Rental Company,
I love that my company decided to ditch its fleet management and go with your service. I'm one rental away from reaching Gold status, earning my second upgrade, and earning my first free rental day.
I love that I can Bluetooth sync my phone to all the rental cars for hands free calling and listening to music while on the road. I also noticed it records into its memory the "name" of my phone.
Tonight I'm renaming my phone to "Kilroy Was Here" so all future renters of your cars who also sync their phones will get a laugh.
Sincerely,
Keeping myself entertained
I love that my company decided to ditch its fleet management and go with your service. I'm one rental away from reaching Gold status, earning my second upgrade, and earning my first free rental day.
I love that I can Bluetooth sync my phone to all the rental cars for hands free calling and listening to music while on the road. I also noticed it records into its memory the "name" of my phone.
Tonight I'm renaming my phone to "Kilroy Was Here" so all future renters of your cars who also sync their phones will get a laugh.
Sincerely,
Keeping myself entertained
Dear Entertained,
I rent a lot of cars. I'm renaming my phone 'Frodo lives' or 'Toy Story 2 was OK'
Sincerely,
I Like Your Style
I rent a lot of cars. I'm renaming my phone 'Frodo lives' or 'Toy Story 2 was OK'
Sincerely,
I Like Your Style
