lets face it,telling kids Alcohol is bad while drinking a beer is just going make us look like hypocrites.
That's correct, and I would never tell my kids alcohol is bad. It's not.
There are (obviously) many different approaches to helping your kids make the right decisions, but the decisions are
theirs. None of these approaches---policing, sharing, lecturing, locking, etc, is a magic bullet. Some kids who have been shielded from alcohol entirely go out and hurt themselves drinking, just like some kids who have been allowed to drink at home regularly do.
You've got to know your own kids and use your own judgement. Indiana is one of the few states that denies parents the rights to do that, but even if I lived in another state, I haven't decided how I'd approach this when the time comes. The one thing I know I'm not going to do is lie to my kids about the dangers or benefits.
It's the same with drugs, sex, etc. I want them to be informed and I want them to know they can trust me. I'll do my best to start them on the right course and give them the tools and information they need to make smart decisions, but the fact is that I won't be there for every choice they have to make.