S%!# my dad says

[ChshreCat]

Not my dad, but it's funny stuff...

http://tinyurl.com/lb6mep

Had to do a tinyurl since the actual url would get censored.

 

[SavageSteve]

Sweet. I love the one about the dog.

-Steve

 

[BarleyWater]

My favorite...

(watching the Little League World Series) "These kids are all fat. I remember when you were in little league.... You were fat."

 

[homebrewer_99]

ROFLMAO!!! Great stuff...

My favorite:

"You know, sometimes it's nice having you around. But now ain't one of those times. Now gimmie the remote we're not watching this bull****."

:rockin::rockin::rockin::rockin:

 

[Tonedef131]

"Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me."

 

[ChshreCat]

When I grow up, I want to be him.

 

[babalu87]

"Who is this woman?....Kate Beckinsale? Well, you can tell Kate Beckinsale she sucks."

FULL
OF
WIN!

She needs a sammich, maybe some mac n cheese

"It's just a ****ing june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?"

Aint that the truth
Too
Many
Pansies anymore

 

[Rick500]

She needs a sammich, maybe some mac n cheese

I recently ate both. Didn't need them nearly as much as she.

 

[ChshreCat]

That's funny. I was eating mac n cheese while reading both those posts.

 

[babalu87]

That's funny. I was eating mac n cheese while reading both those posts.

I was eating Kate Beckinsdale :rockin:

 

[CodeRage]

That is great stuff. I may have to get a twitter account now,.

 

[dontman]

ROFLMAO!!! Great stuff...

My favorite:

"You know, sometimes it's nice having you around. But now ain't one of those times. Now gimmie the remote we're not watching this bull****."

:rockin::rockin::rockin::rockin:

This here sounds like my dad. And my wife sometimes too, for that matter.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

I'm out of the loop here, I didn't find anything funny there.

My dad died of a stroke a few years ago. My last words to him on the phone were "Goodbye dad, I love you" ......He said to me, "Gud be wamsher, I schmoo de woosher"

I think he was telling me to get off his fooking lawn. Either way, he was way funnier than that crap on twitter.


Edit: I think he was telling me goodbye too, but there is no joke in stuff like that.

 

[GregR]

pretty funny stuff right there.

 

[homebrewer_99]

I was eating Kate Beckinsdale :rockin:

TunaMac, huh?

 

[Beer_Maker]

Why would i want to check a voice mail on my cell phone? People want to talk to me, call again. If i want to talk to you, I'll answer.

I laughed out loud!

 

[mc_eric]

"I'm having a Makers Mark, you want one? What? 7up? I ain't mixing ****ing makers with 7up. Might as well put a lil' ****ing umbrella in it"

LOL, that's me in 20 years!
well, ok thats me now. but also in 20 years

 

[FireNightFly]

lmao great stuff ... my fav is...

"The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who s&^ts in something, you own it. Remember that."

 

[summersolstice]

When I grow up, I want to be him.

I am him! No wonder all the posts looked vaguely familiar...

 

[Brooklyn-Brewtality]

yea, this guy is the sh-t. i have been following him for a bit.

 

[IrregularPulse]

This is hilarious. may have to rejoin twitter just for his updates

 

[ChshreCat]

"That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them."

 

[jmendez29]

"That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them."

Now that is straight up wisdom right there.