Random Drunken Thoughts Thread

[seatazzz]

I use GPS for even the shortest & most common of trips. it keeps the BigHair from asking "why are you going this way?"

well... it doesn't exactly keep her from asking, it does keep me from having to answer.

I'm in the process of cleaning out the boxes/tubs/random crap in the garage. I've found at least 5 mapquest printouts from places I needed to go. Remember when mapquest was the shiznit? And if the directions were quite long, figuring out where in the drive to flip to the next page? Printed from netscape of course.

It absolutely fractures me how much technology has progressed in just the time I've considered myself to be an adult. Dick Tracy's two-way TV watch was considered way out of possibility back in the 70s when I read the comic strip in the old Seattle Times; now I have to tell my smartwatch to STFU at least once a day when it tells me I need to get up and move. And that same smartwatch has about kajillion more computing power than any home PC we had in the 90s. Damn.

 

[day_trippr]

Commonly accessible AI 'bots are passing exams of all kinds. It's a scary new world already...
https://www.businessinsider.com/list-here-are-the-exams-chatgpt-has-passed-so-far-2023-1
Cheers!

 

[Jonakr]

I'm in the process of cleaning out the boxes/tubs/random crap in the garage. I've found at least 5 mapquest printouts from places I needed to go. Remember when mapquest was the shiznit? And if the directions were quite long, figuring out where in the drive to flip to the next page? Printed from netscape of course.

It absolutely fractures me how much technology has progressed in just the time I've considered myself to be an adult. Dick Tracy's two-way TV watch was considered way out of possibility back in the 70s when I read the comic strip in the old Seattle Times; now I have to tell my smartwatch to STFU at least once a day when it tells me I need to get up and move. And that same smartwatch has about kajillion more computing power than any home PC we had in the 90s. Damn.

Family visited for Thanksgiving. I made the mistake of saying "oh, we can just Mapquest it..." and my sister immediately chimed in with "are you seriously suggesting you're going to Mapquest it, or just Google/Apple map it?", I said I'd have to Ask Jeeves.

 

[kartracer2]

 

[CKuhns]

LOL, @seatazzz (you were missed) Im not older than dirt. But I might have invented mud. Definately used Map Quest. And need to get my wife and daughter that nail polish.

 

[day_trippr]

Clippy!

I actually had a visit by Clippy this Thursday when installing MS Project 2012 on my new system. Its reaction to being Immediately terminated was precious...and quite satisfying...

Cheers!

 

[GrogNerd]

"hands-free"

"just bring the knife back and forth..."

WITH YOUR HAND

 

[GrogNerd]

mapquest printouts got us lost THREE TIMES in NJ/NY in October of '10

1st was to our hotel in Newark, near the airport. directions omitted ONE left turn & we ended visiting Newark Airport a couple times.

2nd was to the rehearsal dinner on the Shore. tried to take us the wrong way down a one-way & we couldn't find **** after that.

3rd was hotel to Liberty Park & we somehow ended up in Secaucus

 

[skunkape]

I swear I was only 17 yesterday. They don't lie when they say time does fly faster the older you get.

You'll always be 17. I am.

 

[balrog]

I'm mentally 13.

Just ask my wife.

 

[GrogNerd]

I like chicken tenders/fingers.

because, according to my wife, I am 8yo

 

[Dland]

There is a difference between real chicken fingers and most chicken "tenders"

One is made of strips of real meat, the other is some flavored & extruded ground chicken by products.

 

[day_trippr]

"Mmmmm! Flavored & extruded ground chicken by products!"

 

[DBhomebrew]

I don't know where a chicken's finger is, but the tenderloin is a deliciously tender piece of muscle attached to the breast.

 

[balrog]

I don't know where a chicken's finger is, but the tenderloin is a deliciously tender piece of muscle attached to the breast.

 

[GrogNerd]

Those are fried chicken PAWS.

Not the same!

 

[balrog]

Do you realize they changed the word “snake” to “essential”?

And everyone started buying their oil again.

 

[Dland]

At least the old "snake" oil usually had some alcohol in it, along w possible laudanum, cocaine or cannabis extract. Of course strychnine and arsenic also a possibility, so best to buy from a reputable shyster.

 

[Brew_Dude41]

... reputable shyster.

Great name for a rock band, as well as my next brew...

 

[GrogNerd]

Waitress to my wife: hope this doesn't seem too weird, but can I touch your sweater? It looks really soft!

Wife: oh, yeah... that's totally weird. But go ahead!

Reason #∞ why I love the BigHair

 

[BongoYodeler]

 

[BongoYodeler]

With Christmas nearly here we set up our Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones...

 

[GrogNerd]

on this date in 1843, Charles Dickens self-published A Christmas Carol. In Prose. Being a Ghost Story of Christmas

overnight, charitable contributions soared

by Christmas Eve, all 6000 copies of the first edition were sold out. by the end of the next year, 12 additional editions had been sold out. The novella has never been out of publication

it has become one of the best-selling books of all time, forever changing the way we celebrate Christmas, reminding us of the joy to be found in friendship, kindness and generosity.

 

[balrog]

Do not drink and wrap presents.

Also, if someone gets a remote control for Christmas, I'm gonna need that back.

 

[GrogNerd]

wrap empty boxes & start tossing them into a fire if the kids misbehave

 

[Brew_Dude41]

wrap empty boxes & start tossing them into a fire if the kids misbehave

I would do this, but the 9 year old would call BS and wait to see what was melting inside of it.

1 of the 7 year olds would cry for a bit and be mad for a day, 1 would throw the most melodramatic tantrum you can imagine scarring himself emotionally for life, and the the 3rd of them would cry for 20 min and then ask for a waffle...

 

[GrogNerd]

I'm with #3. I totally relate.

I would do this, but the 9 year old would call BS and wait to see what was melting inside of it.

1 of the 7 year olds would cry for a bit and be mad for a day, 1 would throw the most melodramatic tantrum you can imagine scarring himself emotionally for life, and the the 3rd of them would cry for 20 min and then ask for a waffle...

 

[balrog]

the 3rd of them would cry for 20 min and then ask for a waffle...

Yup.

 

[BongoYodeler]

Acting really is the only profession where you can put all your mistakes at work in a fun little blooper reel and people think it’s great. Wouldn’t fly for a plumber would it? Or an anaesthetist....

 

[GrogNerd]

if it weren't for lawyers, we wouldn't need lawyers

 

[day_trippr]

I'll wait.

 

[day_trippr]

 

[BongoYodeler]

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare… My gallon of milk expired while I was waiting in line….

 

[day_trippr]

Goodbye, Tommy. Thanks for speaking for me...

https://www.cnn.com/2023/12/27/entertainment/tom-smothers-death/index.html

 

[GrogNerd]

Mom always liked you best

 

[BongoYodeler]

Mom always liked you best

 

[balrog]

Your Roomba can develop a fetish.

Today my Roomba found two aged seedless grapes trying to escape the kitchen by hiding out unseen near the refrigerator.

Rosie the Roomba (yes, from The Jetsons) took it upon herself to smear the grapes all over her nether regions, and then smear grape gut remnants across the entire kitchen floor, in a pseudo-symmetrically non-random-ish pattern, like some gooey mechanized crackhead slug.

Time to clean the floor.

(and Mechanized Crackhead Slug would be a so-so name for a rock band)

 

[day_trippr]

(and Mechanized Crackhead Slug would be a so-so name for a rock band)

No - but any two of those three words would work!

 

[BongoYodeler]

It’s 2024. Why can't you unselect a floor in an elevator yet?

 

[balrog]

Truer words were never spoken

Also, it’s time to restock chocolate covered almonds…