Punchlines....

[skifast1]

...I thought so, you're cockeyed!

...Tell her to widen her stance

...Really? You have a drink named Murray?

...I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw

 

[EvilTOJ]

I can't believe no one did this one yet....




.....The Aristocrats!!!!

 

[Dude]

"A porcupine has 68,000 pricks on the outside!"

 

[wild]

"Sure, move the cat!"

"Would you have a blue Mexican in there?"

 

[Ó Flannagáin]

You think I wished for a 13 inch pianist?

 

[Short Drive]

The blond said, Your porch is really a Mercedes.
Boy is there tension around our house.
Johnny spit that piece of a** out of your moth.
Because sheep don't do dishes.
He didn't want to leave his little brothers behind.
I've been putting on my shoes.

 

[Cap'n Jewbeard]

"One is a cunning runt..."

 

[boo boo]

" I think I'm a lesbian too"

" my mother had both her legs in the air and was yelling Je**s I'm cumming"

My wife ran away with a cop and I thought you were bringing her back

 

[cha ngo]

"R is for rat, a big f*cking rat with a tail this long"

 

[z987k]

I can't believe no one did this one yet....




.....The Aristocrats!!!!

Damn, I was going to put that one.

 

[Ó Flannagáin]

Elephino ...

 

[Cloggy]

It's called "I love you so much I can't f*@#$%g ****!".

 

[the_Roqk]

I'm not joking and stop calling me Shirley!

 

[mmmforbiddendonut]

And then he shot the dog.
Little Johnny said "That's my uncle bending over in the shower to pick up the soap."
I f*cked your dog, i sh*t in your purse, I'm outta here.
I'd like to show ya, but I don't think I could fit another potato up my ass.
Bubbles is the girl next door.
Seamus, you're sh*ttin the bed!
I squeal the tires when I pull in the driveway, slam the door, run upstairs and tell my wife "I'm horny as hell" and she always pretends to be asleep.
Tonight, you're drinking from the bottle.
And one said "who farted?"
Well think about me, I've got to walk home alone.