Hey Brit,
Sorry for this big loss in your life. I know a bit of what you might be going through as I lost my 23 year old son, suddenly, without warning on Feb. 8 2013
Hopefully by now you are getting good sleep? I would imagine your young son will pull you forward, and over the days and years, you will see your wife emerge through in his personality and mannerisms.
Ironically I too brewed and thought of my son Kyle while doing so. He loved a good nut brown ale, wanted to be a pilot, and we both commented often on all the hawks and eagles we would see along the Mississippi flyway here. I really noticed an uptick in raptor sightings since he left us. I don't know if that is the spiritual side of me looking for meaning or what, but as I was brewing a small raptor circled above me for a good minute or two, and even let out few cry's. Alas, I could not identify it but it made me think up a good name or two for a homemade recipe with Kyle's and a hawks name incorporated.
I only write this to you in the hope that it helps. Life will never be what it was, everything is different, some days with no explanation are very difficult and emotional, other days I take joy in and do not feel guilty anymore. Family, and good friends have carried me through the darkest part of my life. I hope you also can find the good things in life again.
Jeff