My SWMBO's blonde moments

[PNWgirl]

I have lots of "blonde" moments and I am a natural blonde. Sh*t.

Well, to clarify, I am more prone to clumsiness than air-head moments. I tend to walk into walls when I cut corners around doors, randomly spill/drop things, etc. Oh yeah HWMO's fave is when I bend over to get something off the floor and hit my head on something on the way down, like the couch arm. He gets a kick out of those moments.

 

[Denny's Evil Concoctions]

Some of you are so divorced if certain someone's find this thread. lol

 

[EvilTOJ]

Where's benny blanco? I swear he's had more accidents and slipups WHILE IN CHAT it's not even funny. The best time was when he bent down to get his toothbrush, knocked his head on the counter causing massive bleeding. He then came back INTO chat to tell us what happened, bleeding from a head wound. I do believe Yooper (Official Nurse Moderator of HBT) told him to go to the hospital and he didn't.

 

[joejaz]

My ex sister-in-law wanted to donate her old ceiling fan to the homeless.

My other sister in law doesn't eat filet mignon because she doesn't like fish.

 

[Yooper]

Where's benny blanco? I swear he's had more accidents and slipups WHILE IN CHAT it's not even funny. The best time was when he bent down to get his toothbrush, knocked his head on the counter causing massive bleeding. He then came back INTO chat to tell us what happened, bleeding from a head wound. I do believe Yooper (Official Nurse Moderator of HBT) told him to go to the hospital and he didn't.

The funnest part about that was about two weeks later, he blamed ME because he had a nasty scar. He said, "You didn't tell me I'd have a scar on my forehead!".
Um, Benny, did I tell you to go to the hospital and get a few stitches? "Well, yeah". Well, Benny, that would have helped prevent such a nasty scar. "Really? How come you didn't tell me that?"


OK, my daughter is a natural blonde, too. We were in a department store, and wanted to go another floor. She actually looked at the stairs, and said, "Wait- I don't know if those stairs go up or down.".

 

[PurdyGood]

My SWMBO (a redhead) just yesterday:

Me: My allergies are killing me. I'm going to the store to get some Zyrtec.
She: How? You don't have a prescription.
Me: No, it's over-the-counter now, just like Tylenol. Or vitamins.
She: Oh, ok. So then our insurance will cover it?
Me: *smile* I love you...

 

[MikeFlynn74]

Wife: Hey big thin on the news about your deployment. They said some others were going to Asia. Sucks you didnt get that one.
Me: Afghanistan is in Asia baby
Wife: Weird I thought it was in the middle east.
Me: close enough

 

[aekdbbop]

Ok here is my blonde moment..

I was taking a shower at a friends house in louisville, and he had some face wash in the caddy. On the bottle it said 100+ uses...

When I walked out, I asked my friends what else you could use face wash for, other than to wash your face.

They looked at me with a blank stare and said "no brian, you can use the soap 100+ times..."

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

[Soulive]

My best blonde moment was when I first started kegging. I was in the habit of over-complicating things and over-analyzing all aspects (which I don't usually do with brewing). I used a SS braid to filter the beer while racking into the keg. The SS braid fell into the keg and I didn't want to pull it out. For about 2 hours I was worried about the metal leaching or causing off-flavors in the beer. Then I remembered the whole friggen keg is made of SS...

 

[superfluent]

I phoned my exSWMBO a week ago and we talked for a couple of minutes and then suddenly:
She:"S*it, I think I left my cellphone at the restaurant. I can't find it in my bag. God, how stupid of me!".
Me: "Look in your hand..."
She: "Huh, what do you mean look in your hand. It's empty!"
Me: "Look in your other hand..."
She: "What do you mean 'other hand'!?!"
Me: "The one your're holding against your ear..."
She: "OK, could you just hold while I'll go kill myself?"

H

 

[Bernie Brewer]

SWMBO's car was in the shop recently, so she borrowed my car and I drove my truck. I got the call that the car was ready, so I called SWMBO to tell her to be sure to be home before the shop closes so we can go get it.

Her: Oh, I don't want to go all the way home and then all the way back into town. Why don't you just drive the truck there and meet me and save me a trip?

Me: Sounds good. Then you can drive me back to town AGAIN so I can pick up the truck that we'll have to leave behind.

Her: Oh yeah............

 

[aekdbbop]

I phoned my exSWMBO a week ago and we talked for a couple of minutes and then suddenly:
She:"S*it, I think I left my cellphone at the restaurant. I can't find it in my bag. God, how stupid of me!".
Me: "Look in your hand..."
She: "Huh, what do you mean look in your hand. It's empty!"
Me: "Look in your other hand..."
She: "What do you mean 'other hand'!?!"
Me: "The one your're holding against your ear..."
She: "OK, could you just hold while I'll go kill myself?"

H

thats awesome..

 

[evanmars]

My SWMBO just looks at her left hand to see if it makes an "L" when I tell her to turn right or left.

 

[Orfy]

The amount of times I have to say "Your other left"!

 

[Kevin Dean]

My SWMBO just looks at her left hand to see if it makes an "L" when I tell her to turn right or left.

My wife thinks it's just AMAZING that I do that too... "How do you not know which is your left?"

I find it odd that she's unable to always point north like I am.

 

[Laurel]

I have lots of "blonde" moments and I am a natural blonde. Sh*t.

Well, to clarify, I am more prone to clumsiness than air-head moments. I tend to walk into walls when I cut corners around doors, randomly spill/drop things, etc. Oh yeah HWMO's fave is when I bend over to get something off the floor and hit my head on something on the way down, like the couch arm. He gets a kick out of those moments.

:rofl:

I do that kind of stuff all the time. We should probably never meet, we'd both end up dead!

 

[Bedlam]

Oh, another blonde moment from the ex-husband, not so affectionately known as "Pusboy":

Setting: Medical school, 3rd year. I am post-call after working for about 36 hours. I have come home to crash and awaken to the following...

Pusboy: I brought you some breakfast.

Me: How sweet? What is it?

Pusboy: (proudly) Toaster Strudel!

Me: Great!

(Takes big bite and promptly screams in agony as white-hot pastry filling sears 2nd-degree burns into tongue and palate)

Me: Ooooow! ARrrrrrgH! What'd you do to this to get it so f-ing hot?!

Pusboy: (haughtily) I put it in the microwave. How else are you gonna cook it?

Me: ....

 

[EricS]

My SWMBO just looks at her left hand to see if it makes an "L" when I tell her to turn right or left.

+1 I can't believe how many times my wife does the L thing.

 

[BleedsDogFish]

I was out at Nellis AFB doing a range clearance, one weekend my girlfriend came out to see me. When she got to the airport, she encountered two major problems:

1. She handed the skycap her ticket, and he said "Sweetie, this flight doesn't board for another month"

2. She started to cry when she found out she got the date wrong when she bought the ticket, the skycap then said, " Dont worry sweetie, this extra month will give you enough time to make it to the right airport"

She showed up on at the Philly airport, but the ticket was out of Baltimore.

She did make it to Vegas, late evening though.