Details required on the drunk dickbags! What happened?
I've mentally given up on golf. I never improve. I play to be outside and enjoy the scenery. Sometimes I don't even keep score. Breaking 100 for 18 is a happy day. At least I keep up with the flow of traffic, but have never encountered drunken dickbags....
Sure thing...It had a been a pretty slow day (pace wise) and we did a lot of waiting. We come up to the tee box on 14, a nice par 3, and the group in front of us had apparently given up and left, so the box was open. We tee off, drive up to the green and there's a guy (we'll call him dooshbag) "hidden" behind the bunker on the left, just whacking balls into the bunker. I apologize that we didn't see him and ask if he was even playing this hole. He says "no, I'm supposed to be on 15" and points to the next hole, where another guy is waiting on the tee box. My buddy and I decide that these two guys are jumping holes because it's a slow day and also decide that we will just scoot on by them when we get there. Now, I'm not a confrontational guy. I don't like confrontation. I haven't been in a fight since I was in 3rd grade (40 or so years ago) and had/have no intentions of getting in another. But that being said, I hate dickbags. So we get to the 15 tee box and dooshbag's buddy tee offs. I say something to the affect of "hey guys, this isn't your hole, we're gonna play on through" and dooshbag starts mouthing off. Now we realize he might be a little drunk. He runs up in front of me hits one at a direct 90 degree angle to the right the runs over to his cart and jumps in it. My buddy and I go ahead and tee off too, thinking we are still going pass these guys. They drive around and pick up every ball and drop them back down and then go to the friends ball. At this point, another cart drives over to us, with a husband and wife in it, and they start apologizing for these two guys. I ask if they are with them and they say no, only paired up with them and that the entire day has been a nightmare playing with these two guys. We ask them to just join us for the last holes and figure we'll let dooshbag and friend finish by themselves. Dooshbag and friend, now refuse to hit their ball as we are all standing there telling them go and finish so we can play. Now we're getting pissed. We finally convince them to hit and they get off the green, so the four of us finish the hole. When we get to 16, dooshbag and friend are sitting on the tee box waiting for us. My friend and I decide we've had enough, walk past them, tell them we are playing through and to get the eff outta the way. Dooshbag comes over and apologizes for being an ass and can barely stand up. We tell him fine, now get out of the way. We tee off. Then dooshbag and friend decide they are gonna tee off too. Once again, we make it very clear that we are finishing this by ourselves and to stay put. They get the point this time and stay back while we finish the round. So, we finish, drop bags off at two different cars, change shoes, etc...drop the cart off, grab a couple of beers and head to the patio overlooking #18 to relax and hang out. 10 minutes AFTER we have sat down, the husband and wife pull up and say "we finally finished!". I don't know how in the world it took them that long to finish behind us, but whatever. Another few minutes after that, dooshabg and friend pull up and dooshbag wants to apologize and talk some more. He asks if he can sit with us and tell him hell no, so he sits at a table next to us and tries to hold a conversation. Again with the apologizing and then he says he doesn't even remember what he said and wants us to tell him what he was saying to us. I told him no one remembers but that he was a complete dick and needs to leave us alone. He finally left. 30 minutes later, we see him on the driving range trying to hit balls. He was hitting multiple balls at once, he hit the bucket once and knocked stuff everywhere, he kept falling down, it was pretty funny actually. Then we left. Who knows what happened to him after that.
So there's the story. Best round of my life, but could've been better. Good times!