HBT Official Memorable Quotes Thread

[98EXL]

OMG Evan! is on a freaking roll...I think maybe the fumes from the sour beer is gitin' to 'em

 

[bigjohnmilford]

just ran across this little gem.

I have manscaped before, and well in terms of itchyness, I have to say the face is winning over the nether regions, but it could have to do with guys and girls being built differently.

 

[EvilTOJ]

From the Add Yourself thread, being commented on in chat....

yuri are you going to try lighting my vag ina on fire again?

 

[Revvy]

Hehehehehehehe!

Ughhh....does that aspect of apfelwein where you felt like you got gang banged in your eye socket go away with aging whatsoever? Just got a little tipsy off a couple pints of 3 week fresh Apfelwein the other night and I could have sworn I was the star of a porno titled "Man skull orifices and hard things" the night before. It hurts in all the wrong ways.

 

[Short Drive]

How to critique some ones beer.

Yooper is a girl. She knows how to say things nicely. Listen to her.
Me personally, I'd just puke on his shoes.

 

[DeathBrewer]

here's a good one...

As a discussion on BMC grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving urine approaches one.

 

[98EXL]

The "must be obeyed" is more realistically from her monopoly on the household sex supply.

That is so true, yet so fuuuuuunnnnny

 

[98EXL]

and just found this (omitting some words)

If you wish to pull out...let me know.

 

[Revvy]

I dunno....looking at Deathbrewer's AV along with this quote just struck me as funny.

....i enjoy a caucasian every now and again

I wonder if he likes them with fava beans and a nice chianti?

 

[DeathBrewer]

 

[Kai]

In a discussion of birds who brain themselves on windows:

I wouldn't call 'em "stupid". They've evolved over the course of millions of years; glass is an invention of the last like .000001% of their existence...

PS: in accordance with the Kansas state school board, I'm required to post the following alternative: 5000 years ago, god made stupid birds.

 

[NWernBrewer]

olllllo on Evan!

If Dan Snyder wants to name his team the "The Washington Fire in a Crowded Theater Ass Flaming Lesbo Tahitians" and demands that everyone plays in Black Face then the libertarian in me says, "Hells Yes, Freedom!!! You go you crazy goat F*cker!", but in fact he would really be a ****** 'cause it ain't right to base your empire on the downtrodding of those with the skin browner than yours.

So he has the right, but he's a *****ie.

 

[Donasay]

"*****ewaddle." Feeling creative this morning, eh?

Can any word be used as a modifier? Maybe I'll start using the term "*****eboat", or "*****emug." Say, that's got a ring to it. "Chuck Norris is a *****emug."

Don't dis Chuck Norris!

 

[Freezeblade]

"*****ewaddle." Feeling creative this morning, eh?

Can any word be used as a modifier? Maybe I'll start using the term "*****eboat", or "*****emug."

My friends do this all the time, words such as *****ecanoe, *****eFlute, or the ever-famous *****eBarge

ok, onto a quote:

Well, amylase enzymes are present in saliva....

 

[EvilTOJ]

What? They are present in saliva! Why's everyone looking at me like that?

 

[Revvy]

What? They are present in saliva! Why's everyone looking at me like that?

I know...I'm still scratching my head wondering why Freezeblade thought it was quote worthy...

Maybe he never heard of Chica Beer....

chicha is/was make by converting starch into sugar by chewing it, and letting disastase enzymes in human saliva do the starch/sugar conversion - you can do this yourself by chewing bread for a long time, and noting how it gets sweeter. The chewed starch material (maize, cassava, whatever) is spat out and dried, or semi-dried, until the brewer is ready to soak it and ferment it. Some sources say the name chicha is derived from the Spanish word for “spit."

 

[Freezeblade]

out of context it just seems a bit off, that's all

 

[Bob]

*punt to the change-purse*

I can't explain it; it's just funny. To me. And my tiny, easily-amused brain.

Bob

 

[BigKahuna]

... My sister passed out, my wife is still puking this afternoon and my head felt like it got smashed between 2 bricks.

.

This stuff is amazing but holy sheet it sneaks up on you faster then a phantom fart.
.

This is a 2'fer One.

 

[EvilTOJ]

Revvy, that saliva quote was from the GaP thread. And Freezeblade is right, everything is funnier out of context.

 

[Revvy]

Revvy, that saliva quote was from the GaP thread. And Freezeblade is right, everything is funnier out of context.

Oh I know, look at the quote I did on deathbrewer yesterday....

 

[NWernBrewer]

By JustDave:

My wife's bombs got bigger after going on the pill. :rockin:

 

[Revvy]

I just had to memorialize another from the infamous "Die Code Monkeys" thread.

Rats do not eat nyt sofa. I already said that . I also siad sthat is is nice. I ti s.!

My niechbors all like me. we are all friends and brew buddies and throw darts not even at each oter. The code monkey even said that cone comp,ain. He just wrote tehviolation becauaes sofa is :unsightly".

I told him when he saiud plastic was OK that buckes were plastic, he said, put buckets then. I did!!!!Tsody he put a note on my sdoor that said CORRECETD and that I had a great sence og humor! i have noth notes in my window. on th eindse so he cannnot take them down.

My pretty pttty sofa is in ashrine built in my back yeard with no permit because it is not a perminent construction. and you know what lese>?? I aint getting a permit to move mt liitle fence wither!
oh and my neighbot who helpe dme mone ncie sofa to shrine founf a bullet SKS in it and he has one too! he said they only left note because of bullets. they were afraid and maybe thye call bomb sqwad for ordinance disposal next time! ilk dispose of ordianace ok! BANMASNSNBASASNANBAMABAMAB!

This line in particular

My niechbors all like me. we are all friends and brew buddies and throw darts not even at each oter.

 

[wildwest450]

If you think this is an EPIC Fail...You haven't been around me for very long.

Sums up my entire existence.

 

[Donasay]

On star san...

Nope. The foam is made of Happiness, and Happiness is allowed in the Reinheitsgebot.

 

[Revvy]

Ohhhhhh this is soooo good!!!!

Hummm....If I could grow some boobies...?

And the whole darn thing is quoteworthy...

Hummm....I make my own beer....I cook my own food.....I pay my own Bills....If I could grow some boobies...there would be no need for SWMBO? Just Kidding and in case she ever figures out how to log onto HBT.com....I Love My Wife Very much.

 

[Revvy]

Bwahahahaha!!!

PS. You aren't anywhere near Glossop are you? If so, I would like to hire you to give my brother a kick in the nutsacks.

 

[Evan!]

Bwahahahaha!!!

Hmm...so is the multiple-nutsacks thing a birth defect?

 

[ohiobrewtus]

Hmm...so is the multiple-nutsacks thing a birth defect?

I don't know, but the ladies sure love it!

 

[Evan!]

I don't know, but the ladies sure love it!

aww, hell yeah...one for slapping against each cheek. :rockin:

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Hmm...so is the multiple-nutsacks thing a birth defect?

Never bought a heavy object in a store and the assistant asked you about double-bagging?..... Well, that's just lady code for what they really want!....... OhioBrewtus is right. The ladies love it!

 

[The Beer Baron]

Just popped up in Evans thread....nice one:rockin:

Anyone out there trying to convert tailgaters with a magnetic christian fish? I have a machine gun mounted on my hood.

 

[Revvy]

Man, the 'brit is creeping up on the Even in sheer quotable lunacy....

Your mission, should you choose to accept it:

My Brother's local is the Hare and Hounds at the top of a stonking great hill. I will Paypal $100 to the Landlord so he can pay you when your mission is accomplished.

The best time to catch my brother is Sunday lunchtime. He will enter the pub from the car park entrance. He will be accompanied by a skinny little twonk wearing glasses. My brother will be the guy imediately behind him keeping a safe "I'm not buying the first round" distance. It will first be necessary to somehow divert his right hand away from his crotch area before you can get a really good kick in (He will be scratching his balls)

Good luck. This forum will self destruct in 5 seconds.

 

[ohiobrewtus]

I lol'd at this...

And we all know Corona is miles away from ordinary. They're unfortunately down the road, past the village of Suck, and are next door neighbors to "asstastic"

 

[McKBrew]

I lol'd at this...

Holy shizzit, that is funny.

 

[McKBrew]

I'm bad about overthinking stuff, so trust me when I say you are WAY overthinking this. I could teach my 4yr old to bottle with a BMBF. And even if I'm straight up lying to you, you're out about $3.00 and can still buy a Blichmann.

I thought it was funny.

 

[The Beer Baron]

I'm bored at work, and I cam across this gem.

When asked what was brewing on humpday:

Does drinking homebrew count? How about drinking homebrew whilst playin with my balls?
Isn't that what Wednesdays are for, anyway?

Well, no! Tempted as I am, Wednesdays I prefer to drink homebrew and play with my OWN balls. Thanks anyway.

 

[RiverSwillBeer]

When asked about the new feature "Groups" and if there are any guidelines ...

When adding a club.

Does it specifically have to be about Jeeps?

 

[98EXL]

I told my wife that there was a rumor John Madden got an erection that day; she replied, "What, is Brett Favre coming back?"

Awesome!!!

 

[Freezeblade]

Problem number one, you are obviously fermenting with your carboy on its side in a zero gravity enviroment, I'm not sure what affect that may have on the yeast.

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