HBT Official Memorable Quotes Thread

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Eeeek!!! I would like to point out that the above post is out of context! Drinking an extract brew is NOTHING like a cheap lay in the garbage disposal area! I was talking about the act of brewing said beverage.......Er, I'm not suggesting that brewing extract is like banging some cheap whore in a dumpster, if it were, I would do it more often....um, no!! What I meant was....was.....oh crap.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

The context is so far removed from this quote that it needed it's own passport.

I was a 3 way partner

 

[EvilTOJ]

I bet cheddar tastes way better than Jesus.

Depends on what kind of cracker you use, I bet.

 

[Boerderij_Kabouter]

Also, thanks to all who were butthurt by what I said. You're cute.

lol.........................

 

[Boerderij_Kabouter]

I try to be as intimate as possible with my malt... that way I can get more head.

hehe........

 

[EvilTOJ]

Yeah, Im hoping to cry in the fetal position, thats really what I look for in a beer!

Now THAT'S a man's beer!

 

[Short Drive]

This just made me spit my coffee.

I won the Heather Thomas poster at the county fair. Took it to my first jerkin off contest, too. Took first, fourth and twelfth.

 

[Cheeto]

I look up on the OMG INTARWEBZ to see how to do it myself. The videos... they made it look so easy. So simple. A retarded monkey tripping balls on acid could do it.


I think I'll just crawl into a fetal position and squeeze my eyes shut until they leave, to go discuss what a complete screaming f#ckwhistle I am over drinks.

I think I just found the definition of Manhell.

wow, just wow

all of these are in the same thread !

 

[Revvy]

A deathbrewer two-fer

Rob Halford is my hero. I want to be just like him when I grow up and get big. Except the whole sex with guys thing. That's not really my gig.

Yeah, I'm just making stuff up. I'll screw anything with less than 4 legs. That includes amputated sheep. If they'll have me.

Uh HUH.....Yeah...We can read between the lines here!

 

[Brewin_Bob]

Wise words from a wise man ...

If you said water instead of liquor,
If you said water heater instead of hot liquor tank,
If you said rinse instead of sparge,
If you said hot soak instead of mash,
If you said all of the grain instead of grist,
If you said big pot instead of tun,
If you said dump the grain into the big pot instead of dough in,
If you said clearing instead of fining,
If you said recirculate instead of vorlauf,
If you said bottom crud instead of trub,
If you said top crud instead of krausen...

Then any old schmuck could figure out how to make his own beer!

 

[EvilTOJ]

Who needs a sammich when got a hot loaf in the waits.

Note to self: no sandwich swaps with GilaMinumBeer

 

[Revvy]

This is choice!

An airlock is the beer god's anus. Just because it blows off, it doesn't mean you are about to be covered in poo.

 

[EvilTOJ]

Well, you know what they say...the next best thing to a real vag is hefe krausen.

Oh really, 'they' say that?

 

[Seabee John]

Well, you know what they say...the next best thing to a real vag is hefe krausen.

Oh really, 'they' say that?

there's a "beer shot through the nostrils" quote for ya..... that's funny

Next planned brew: Hefe.... just cause I gotta

 

[Boerderij_Kabouter]

I am making a hefe this weekend, It's BM's Black peppered Wit recipe. I'm going to use a wheat yeast in it I think to give it that authentic German yeastiness I like so much in Blue Moon

awesome...

 

[Saccharomyces]

So yeah, you need to be subversive, and brew when your wife can't see you.

Brewing is a lot like masturbation in many ways.

Remind me not to hang out with LG on brew days.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Remind me not to hang out with LG on brew days.

Aww come on, I know you brew too. We ALL do!

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

I seriously considered upgrading my avatar to that brilliant hairy anus...

Say no more!!

 

[jkarp]

Just for you LG!

<<----------

 

[Saccharomyces]

I have a confession. I just re-read this entire thread, start to finish and damned near pissed my pants. Of course, given my advaced age and questionable prostate gland that is just another day n the life, but all in all this is one funny freakin' thread.

..........

 

[DeathBrewer]

No. Masturbation sounds sound like this:-

Slap slap.....Oh yeah!.....Slap slap.....You are the man!!.....Slap slap.....Give it to me!.....Slap slap.....oh! look in the mirror baby!.....Slap slap.....Oh yeah!.....Slap slap.....You are the one for me Shecky! Slap that harder!.....Slap slap.....Go Red Sox!.....Slap slap.....I feel the French in me coming out!.....Slap slap.....J'arrive! J'arrive!.........Slap slap.....Merde, shecky, I love you so!!!.....Slap slap.....hey! stop that!, i'm done!.....Slap slap.....Oh,OK Shecky darling, one more time for the Sox......Slap slap..........Slap slap..........Slap slap..........Slap slap..........Slap slap..........Slap slap..........Slap slap..........Slap slap..........Slap slap.....

Terrible, man, just terrible...

 

[Evan!]

Are they concerned for all the women out there who, GULP, choose not to marry??? He must live in constant fear over no one protecting their precious poonaners from plundering by the general public.

Instant Classic. Protecting the Precious Poonaners!

 

[jmulligan]

Happy to provide our perverted alliteration for the day.

 

[ChshreCat]

blow into the hose, it can help clear out whatever is clogging the holes.

OW! OW! OW!

No! You don't blow in it, that's just what it's called!!!

 

[DeathBrewer]

Looked like a spiral turd served with a huge spattering of man cum to me.....But if it has bacon in it, then I'll eat it.

yeah...you'll eat anything with man-juice, won't you?

 

[jmulligan]

Even if you don't want to brew something, you can always sit around drinking homebrew and playing with yourself.

Excellent advice! I'll be sure to remember that next time brewing just seems like too much work, but I still want to do something...enjoyable.

 

[dataz722]

Excellent advice! I'll be sure to remember that next time brewing just seems like too much work, but I still want to do something...enjoyable.

We are all looking forward to the boneyard posts!!!

 

[IrregularPulse]

Quoted in the Quote thread? Eminent Implosion?

 

[DeathBrewer]

Divided by zero!! Holy ****!!!

 

[Boerderij_Kabouter]

You get more with a kind word, a smile and a gun than you do with a kind word and a smile.

I feel like this quote could be adapted to most situations. awesome