Funny things you've overheard about beer

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timdillon36 said:
On late night with Seth M
14:
Gallons of water it takes to make a can of beers

I hope it doesn't take me ~500 gal to make a 5 gal batch.
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Well actually :rockin: , if you consider growing grain, malting grain, transporting, cleaning, sanitizing, evaporation, more cleaning and sanitizing, heat exchange / cooling,etc...
And if you use gasahol in the trucks doing transportation at every stage, which also needed lots of water to make...

I'd be interested to see the numbers behind it.
 
I guess I forgot about all the water it takes to grow rice. Good thing that stuff just falls from the sky.
 
Spartan300man said:
"We don't have Coors Banquet, but mix this Pale ale with 50% water, and you'll have something close to your Coors banquet. Except for the aroma of Cat pee, but I can't help you there."

Craft beer snoberry at its funniest.
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all you have to do is leave the hoppy ale out in the sun (clear glass) for a few minutes. Skunk city!
And for Coors Light, dilute the ale with 75% water, then leave it out.
 
Vamptrump said:
What's the difference between a metric **** ton and imperial **** ton? Also is a **** ton greater than, less than, or equal to a traditional ton?
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I'll leave that calculation to our homebrewers 'across the pond'.

Now please Excuse me...I have '14 gallons of water ' cooling in the fridge that needs my attention. ;-)
 
1977Brewer said:
204.66 turds. A **** ton is equal to a feather ton, just less sanitary.
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Finally something funny. :goat:

According to Reddit you are using the incorrect conversion factor.

NSFW link
https://www.reddit.com/comments/glhme/til_a_metric_****ton_is_approximately_2642/

Reddit said:
Proof:

the average density of human feces is 1 g/cm3

start with 1 ton of ****

1 ton of **** is the same as 1000000g of ****

1000000g of **** is 1000000cm3 of **** by volume

1000000cm3 of **** is the same as 1000L of ****

1000L of **** is the same as 264.2 gal of ****

So, the next time someone says "That's a **** ton of vodka!" that means its 264.2 gallons of vodka (on average).
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Was listening to the local sports talk radio station coming home today and the personality was doing an ad for a local beer store that stocks tons of craft and imported beer styles, pretty much any and all you may be looking for. Anyway, he states how he has become a fan of IPA's and DIPA's "but they have a lot of other styles like stouts and ESB's which are a lot like an IPA..."

I lol'd the rest of the way home!
 
catdaddy66 said:
[H]e states how he has become a fan of IPA's and DIPA's "but they have a lot of other styles like stouts and ESB's which are a lot like an IPA..."
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facepalm

I mean, I can the connection to ESB... sort of... they're broadly related styles, I guess... but stout? The only thing stouts have in common with IPAs is that their both ales and were originally British (in the broad sense that Ireland is part of the British Islands - I assume he was talking about dry stout, 'cos while it would be even funnier if he meant any of the English stout styles, I doubt he has any clue about those).
 
Cheesy_Goodness said:
Had a family reunion this weekend. It'd be impossible to remember them all ("I only drink ales" as he sips a homebrew blonde ale), but the best I can remember had to do with an IPA I poured for an uncle

Uncle: This is pretty good, I didn't expect to like it but I do
Me: That's good to hear. Just be careful with it, the alcohol is somewhere around 7% (he was used to sessionable lagers)
Uncle: I didn't want to say anything because I wasn't sure but I thought it tasted like a Guinness.

High(ish) alcohol = Guinness

Hell of a time that day though.
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catdaddy66 said:
Was listening to the local sports talk radio station coming home today and the personality was doing an ad for a local beer store that stocks tons of craft and imported beer styles, pretty much any and all you may be looking for. Anyway, he states how he has become a fan of IPA's and DIPA's "but they have a lot of other styles like stouts and ESB's which are a lot like an IPA..."

I lol'd the rest of the way home!
Click to expand...

Either this is a common thing or I have family in the radio biz. I prefer to think the latter.
 
Apparently anything with more flavor than a Bud Light is so intense, the beer noob palate can't begin to differentiate them all. I feel sad for these poor people.
 
I stopped down at a little dive bar to meet and old friend for a drink and they had the usual suspects along with a very small "beginner" craft beer selection (new glarus, leinenkugels and the like). A few minutes later, a couple stereotypical hipster types come in already half in the bag, and one loudly announces (multiple times) to the four other people there that he knew this was a good bar because they had "leinies in a bottle!"
This is a bar in Wisconsin. I don't think I have ever been to a bar in Wisconsin that did not have at least three leinenkugels beers in the cooler. I laughed to myself and went back to my delicious moon man.
 
masonsjax said:
Maybe he forgot some punctuation and meant to say they have a lot of stouts (and ESBs, which are a lot like an IPA)...

In which case he'd be right.



PS: well actually...
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I understand the base (malt bill) can be the same for the ESB and the IPA, and it was a radio ad so I cut him some slack. I found it humorous though, and thought you guys might as well.
 
Ok....this here is damn funny! I'm not sure why but I nearly pissed myself reading this....

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/5756809/ns/us_news-weird_news/t/bear-downs-beers-passes-out-campground/

“He drank the Rainier and wouldn’t drink the Busch beer,” said Lisa Broxson, bookkeeper at the campground and cabins resort east of Mount Baker.

Fish and Wildlife enforcement Sgt. Bill Heinck said the bear did try one can of Busch, but ignored the rest. The beast then consumed about 36 cans of Rainier.

Let the BMC bashing commence....
 
biochemedic said:
Ok....this here is damn funny! I'm not sure why but I nearly pissed myself reading this....

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/5756809/ns/us_news-weird_news/t/bear-downs-beers-passes-out-campground/

“He drank the Rainier and wouldn’t drink the Busch beer,” said Lisa Broxson, bookkeeper at the campground and cabins resort east of Mount Baker.

Fish and Wildlife enforcement Sgt. Bill Heinck said the bear did try one can of Busch, but ignored the rest. The beast then consumed about 36 cans of Rainier.

Let the BMC bashing commence....
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Apparently the bear had a very discerning palate. :tank: :mug: "Hey Boo-Boo, this stuff tastes like P***!"
 
biochemedic said:
Ok....this here is damn funny! I'm not sure why but I nearly pissed myself reading this....

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/5756809/ns/us_news-weird_news/t/bear-downs-beers-passes-out-campground/

“He drank the Rainier and wouldn’t drink the Busch beer,” said Lisa Broxson, bookkeeper at the campground and cabins resort east of Mount Baker.

Fish and Wildlife enforcement Sgt. Bill Heinck said the bear did try one can of Busch, but ignored the rest. The beast then consumed about 36 cans of Rainier.

Let the BMC bashing commence....
Click to expand...

Oh that's priceless! A few struggling craft breweries could post this in their area. Even though it's not their beer, they could ALOT of mileage out of this. I have a renewed love of bears!
 
Wanted for questioning.

bear-with-beer-620x350.png
 
cyanmonkey said:
Guy at liquor store training a new cashier:

"What's the difference between an APA and an IPA?"

"Well, APA's are made with American hops and IPA's are made with Indian hops."

I couldn't let that one go...

:D
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I'm actually fairly ignorant on the matter. What is the difference between American, Australian, and Indian Pale Ales?
 
Venari said:
I'm actually fairly ignorant on the matter. What is the difference between American, Australian, and Indian Pale Ales?
Click to expand...

I'll take a quick stab at this.

An American Pale Ale is a light(ish) pale colored beer with a notable hop character with American style hops.

Most beers described as an India Pale Ale are hopped to an extreme degree and have a hop profile that smacks you in the face.

An Australian Pale Ale describes any number of cheap swills that are made in Australia. :cross:
 
Chadwick said:
I'll take a quick stab at this.

An American Pale Ale is a light(ish) pale colored beer with a notable hop character with American style hops.

Most beers described as an India Pale Ale are hopped to an extreme degree and have a hop profile that smacks you in the face.

An Australian Pale Ale describes any number of cheap swills that are made in Australia. :cross:
Click to expand...

Adding on to that...

American Pale Ales, while hoppy, are generally more balanced than IPAs and lower in alcohol content.

IPAs have some malt backbone, but are skewed toward prominent hop bitterness and aroma. Double/Imperial IPAs just take that style and increase the malt and hops. They are sometimes perceived as sweeter than regular IPAs due to the bigger malt body.

Then there are the white IPAs, black IPAs, red IPAs, session IPAs, triple IPAs...
 

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