Funny things you've overheard about beer

[timdillon36]

I guess I forgot about all the water it takes to grow rice. Good thing that stuff just falls from the sky.

 

[Black Island Brewer]

Butt loads, metric or imperial, are a hop measurement, not a water measurement.

 

[branman]

See, this guy gets it! BTW it was a joke

 

[branman]

For distilling not fermenting because that yeast taste is nasty

Sorry forgot the quote..been drinkin

 

[biochemedic]

Apparently, craft brewers are misogynist

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/...ch_and_happy_ending_only_alienate.single.html

I think someone got their panties in a bit of a wad before deciding to write that article...

 

[Kee]

An article with a Happy Ending.

 

[jrgtr42]

"We don't have Coors Banquet, but mix this Pale ale with 50% water, and you'll have something close to your Coors banquet. Except for the aroma of Cat pee, but I can't help you there."

Craft beer snoberry at its funniest.

all you have to do is leave the hoppy ale out in the sun (clear glass) for a few minutes. Skunk city!
And for Coors Light, dilute the ale with 75% water, then leave it out.

 

[soccerdad]

Long ton - 2200 lbs
Short ton - 2000 lbs
Sh!t ton - only the porta potty guy knows

 

[WilliamSlayer]

What's the difference between a metric sh!t ton and imperial sh!t ton? Also is a sh!t ton greater than, less than, or equal to a traditional ton?

I'll leave that calculation to our homebrewers 'across the pond'.

Now please Excuse me...I have '14 gallons of water ' cooling in the fridge that needs my attention. ;-)

 

[renrutle]

204.66 turds. A sh!t ton is equal to a feather ton, just less sanitary.

Finally something funny.

According to Reddit you are using the incorrect conversion factor.

**** link
https://www.reddit.com/comments/glhme/til_a_metric_****ton_is_approximately_2642/

Proof:

the average density of human feces is 1 g/cm3

start with 1 ton of sh!t

1 ton of sh!t is the same as 1000000g of sh!t

1000000g of sh!t is 1000000cm3 of sh!t by volume

1000000cm3 of sh!t is the same as 1000L of sh!t

1000L of sh!t is the same as 264.2 gal of sh!t

So, the next time someone says "That's a sh!t ton of vodka!" that means its 264.2 gallons of vodka (on average).

 

[catdaddy66]

Was listening to the local sports talk radio station coming home today and the personality was doing an ad for a local beer store that stocks tons of craft and imported beer styles, pretty much any and all you may be looking for. Anyway, he states how he has become a fan of IPA's and DIPA's "but they have a lot of other styles like stouts and ESB's which are a lot like an IPA..."

I lol'd the rest of the way home!

 

[Schol-R-LEA]

[H]e states how he has become a fan of IPA's and DIPA's "but they have a lot of other styles like stouts and ESB's which are a lot like an IPA..."

facepalm

I mean, I can the connection to ESB... sort of... they're broadly related styles, I guess... but stout? The only thing stouts have in common with IPAs is that their both ales and were originally British (in the broad sense that Ireland is part of the British Islands - I assume he was talking about dry stout, 'cos while it would be even funnier if he meant any of the English stout styles, I doubt he has any clue about those).

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

Had a family reunion this weekend. It'd be impossible to remember them all ("I only drink ales" as he sips a homebrew blonde ale), but the best I can remember had to do with an IPA I poured for an uncle

Uncle: This is pretty good, I didn't expect to like it but I do
Me: That's good to hear. Just be careful with it, the alcohol is somewhere around 7% (he was used to sessionable lagers)
Uncle: I didn't want to say anything because I wasn't sure but I thought it tasted like a Guinness.

High(ish) alcohol = Guinness

Hell of a time that day though.

Was listening to the local sports talk radio station coming home today and the personality was doing an ad for a local beer store that stocks tons of craft and imported beer styles, pretty much any and all you may be looking for. Anyway, he states how he has become a fan of IPA's and DIPA's "but they have a lot of other styles like stouts and ESB's which are a lot like an IPA..."

I lol'd the rest of the way home!

Either this is a common thing or I have family in the radio biz. I prefer to think the latter.

 

[GuldTuborg]

Apparently anything with more flavor than a Bud Light is so intense, the beer noob palate can't begin to differentiate them all. I feel sad for these poor people.

 

[coolharry]

I stopped down at a little dive bar to meet and old friend for a drink and they had the usual suspects along with a very small "beginner" craft beer selection (new glarus, leinenkugels and the like). A few minutes later, a couple stereotypical hipster types come in already half in the bag, and one loudly announces (multiple times) to the four other people there that he knew this was a good bar because they had "leinies in a bottle!"
This is a bar in Wisconsin. I don't think I have ever been to a bar in Wisconsin that did not have at least three leinenkugels beers in the cooler. I laughed to myself and went back to my delicious moon man.

 

[masonsjax]

"but they have a lot of other styles like stouts and ESB's which are a lot like an IPA..."

Maybe he forgot some punctuation and meant to say they have a lot of stouts (and ESBs, which are a lot like an IPA)...
In which case he'd be right.

PS: well actually...

 

[catdaddy66]

Maybe he forgot some punctuation and meant to say they have a lot of stouts (and ESBs, which are a lot like an IPA)...

In which case he'd be right.



PS: well actually...

I understand the base (malt bill) can be the same for the ESB and the IPA, and it was a radio ad so I cut him some slack. I found it humorous though, and thought you guys might as well.

 

[catdaddy66]

View attachment ImageUploadedByHome Brew1436643742.153995.jpg

 

[biochemedic]

Ok....this here is damn funny! I'm not sure why but I nearly pissed myself reading this....

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/5756809/ns/us_news-weird_news/t/bear-downs-beers-passes-out-campground/

“He drank the Rainier and wouldn’t drink the Busch beer,” said Lisa Broxson, bookkeeper at the campground and cabins resort east of Mount Baker.

Fish and Wildlife enforcement Sgt. Bill Heinck said the bear did try one can of Busch, but ignored the rest. The beast then consumed about 36 cans of Rainier.

Let the BMC bashing commence....

 

[Michigan_Wolfman]

Ok....this here is damn funny! I'm not sure why but I nearly pissed myself reading this....

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/5756809/ns/us_news-weird_news/t/bear-downs-beers-passes-out-campground/

“He drank the Rainier and wouldn’t drink the Busch beer,” said Lisa Broxson, bookkeeper at the campground and cabins resort east of Mount Baker.

Fish and Wildlife enforcement Sgt. Bill Heinck said the bear did try one can of Busch, but ignored the rest. The beast then consumed about 36 cans of Rainier.

Let the BMC bashing commence....

Apparently the bear had a very discerning palate. "Hey Boo-Boo, this stuff tastes like P***!"

 

[Wolfdust]

Apparently the bear had a very discerning palate. "Hey Boo-Boo, this stuff tastes like P***!"

That is some funny stuff.

 

[WilliamSlayer]

Ok....this here is damn funny! I'm not sure why but I nearly pissed myself reading this....

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/5756809/ns/us_news-weird_news/t/bear-downs-beers-passes-out-campground/

“He drank the Rainier and wouldn’t drink the Busch beer,” said Lisa Broxson, bookkeeper at the campground and cabins resort east of Mount Baker.

Fish and Wildlife enforcement Sgt. Bill Heinck said the bear did try one can of Busch, but ignored the rest. The beast then consumed about 36 cans of Rainier.

Let the BMC bashing commence....

Oh that's priceless! A few struggling craft breweries could post this in their area. Even though it's not their beer, they could ALOT of mileage out of this. I have a renewed love of bears!

 

[MaxStout]

Wanted for questioning.

 

[cyanmonkey]

Guy at liquor store training a new cashier:

"What's the difference between an APA and an IPA?"

"Well, APA's are made with American hops and IPA's are made with Indian hops."

I couldn't let that one go...

 

[1977Brewer]

Guy at liquor store training a new cashier:



"What's the difference between an APA and an IPA?"



"Well, APA's are made with American hops and IPA's are made with Indian hops."



I couldn't let that one go...

This is perfect.

 

[andrewmaixner]

Guy at liquor store training a new cashier:

"What's the difference between an APA and an IPA?"

"Well, APA's are made with American hops and IPA's are made with Indian hops."

I couldn't let that one go...

With that one, you have to be in the running for the top 20 overheard stupid things!

 

[Venari]

Guy at liquor store training a new cashier:

"What's the difference between an APA and an IPA?"

"Well, APA's are made with American hops and IPA's are made with Indian hops."

I couldn't let that one go...

I'm actually fairly ignorant on the matter. What is the difference between American, Australian, and Indian Pale Ales?

 

[ericbw]

Watch out, you'll be banned from the forum for that! Jk

 

[Chadwick]

I'm actually fairly ignorant on the matter. What is the difference between American, Australian, and Indian Pale Ales?

I'll take a quick stab at this.

An American Pale Ale is a light(ish) pale colored beer with a notable hop character with American style hops.

Most beers described as an India Pale Ale are hopped to an extreme degree and have a hop profile that smacks you in the face.

An Australian Pale Ale describes any number of cheap swills that are made in Australia. :cross:

 

[drainbamage]

I'll take a quick stab at this.

An American Pale Ale is a light(ish) pale colored beer with a notable hop character with American style hops.

Most beers described as an India Pale Ale are hopped to an extreme degree and have a hop profile that smacks you in the face.

An Australian Pale Ale describes any number of cheap swills that are made in Australia. :cross:

Adding on to that...

American Pale Ales, while hoppy, are generally more balanced than IPAs and lower in alcohol content.

IPAs have some malt backbone, but are skewed toward prominent hop bitterness and aroma. Double/Imperial IPAs just take that style and increase the malt and hops. They are sometimes perceived as sweeter than regular IPAs due to the bigger malt body.

Then there are the white IPAs, black IPAs, red IPAs, session IPAs, triple IPAs...