Funny things you've overheard about beer

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jjhakamaa

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I'm still on page 235 of 318 of this thread, trying to read the whole shebang. But I have to post.

The funniest thing I've heard is Stone telling me to enjoy their "Enjoy By IPA" by 7/4, when in reality I'm enjoying this six-pack by midnight, 6/14.

Cheers!
 

Hwk-I-St8

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I live in rural Scotland and if any of my beers are not better than anything I can buy locally I consider it a faliure.
I started brewing with the goal of brewing beers that were on par with the best I could get locally (which is saying a lot since a few of the highest rated beers on beer advocate and untapppd are brewed a couple hours from me). So I'm like you...anything less than absolute premium results are a disappointment. I really haven't been disappointed too many times.
 

davidabcd

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This happened in 2004. I was running my one and only marathon.
First, no matter how well you train, you can still have a bad day. The more of a long-distance rookie you are, the better chance of having a bad day. I had a very bad day. Ten miles in, I felt like I had run twenty. I knew I was in trouble. I was gassed beyond belief by the 15 mile mark. It was the kind of deal where you have to think of creative ways to re-convince yourself to continue running about every few minutes.
By the 22 or 23 mile mark, I'm in brand-new territory, redefining for myself what exhaustion means. I began getting paranoid, truly believing that someone was moving the mile markers further away. Right around there, a few different people alongside the road were holding out cups, "Would you like a cup of beer, son? How about a beer?"
My disjointed thoughts were something like, "Beer? Am I actually hallucinating now? This can't be. Nah. On a marathon course? Are they serious? Do they know something that I don't? Nah, they couldn't. Maybe. Someone should tell these well-meaning souls* that alcohol is a diuretic and pretty much the last thing to be drinking after twenty-some miles and still four or five from the finish line."
But they really were handing out beer. And that was funny.

*I used different, less-kind words at the time
 

Saunassa

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From a colleague today:
“My husband just started home brewing, we should save a lot of money.”
Well you can save money but will you? The problem is that after you brew a few good beers without a big investment you start thinking hmm now what can I do to brew a great beer consistently? Then you start buying better tools and equipment and the money you were saving is now spent.
 

Hwk-I-St8

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Well you can save money but will you? The problem is that after you brew a few good beers without a big investment you start thinking hmm now what can I do to brew a great beer consistently? Then you start buying better tools and equipment and the money you were saving is now spent.
As I said in another thread, part of the equation is how much you were paying for beer when you bought it (like were you buying $10 premium bombers?). Also, how much you pay for a batch of similar beer. NEIPAs are expensive and can be brewed pretty cheaply by buying grains and hops in bulk and overbuilding starters on your yeast. I have about $1500 invested in brewing, but I was buying a lot of $10 bombers that I no longer buy. I don't know if I'm saving money, but at a minimum I'm probably getting close to breaking even (after 18 months of brewing). If I don't go hog wild buying more equipment, I'll be in the black within a year (if I'm not already).
 

GoeHaarden

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I recently overheard a bartender (rather annoying one to add) respond to a patron's question of "what makes that nitro cream ale so different?"

His response, "well they ferment it with nitro instead of regular yeast so it's creamier..."

He was serious!!!
 

Andrew Hodgson

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I recently overheard a bartender (rather annoying one to add) respond to a patron's question of "what makes that nitro cream ale so different?"

His response, "well they ferment it with nitro instead of regular yeast so it's creamier..."

He was serious!!!
This pains me.
 

Hwk-I-St8

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I recently overheard a bartender (rather annoying one to add) respond to a patron's question of "what makes that nitro cream ale so different?"

His response, "well they ferment it with nitro instead of regular yeast so it's creamier..."

He was serious!!!
OK, I literally LOL'd. You just can't make this crap up.
 

jason1973

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From a colleague today:
“My husband just started home brewing, we should save a lot of money.”
as i say you will save thousands on bear, and spend twice on equipment, but saving on beer is only line that calms down a wife :))
 

GrogNerd

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every new brewer here on HBT: HELP! my first batch has floating, foamy, brown and white things on it! Should I worry?

me: only that the floating, foamy, brown and white things might gain sentience, turn into a monster which will eat your younglings

or it will make alcohol.

pray for the latter.
 
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Well, I just thought of this and I'll share for the laughs.

Many years and beers ago, I Could have been overheard saying: "it's called a tripel because it's fermented 3 times, a dubbel is fermented twice"
When I got into crazy (non-BMC) beer’s at this place called Spike’s in Santa Barbara (Beers Around the World), I said exactly this. It’s a lovely 30 years of education about beer ever since.
 
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In my statistics lecture the professor was using an example of probabilities. He says:
"(Of two events: A and B)Let A be the event of a customer ordering a beer, let B be the event of a customer ordering an ale".

Further, he says:
"What are the probabilities of each?"

I really wanted to say: "Well the probability of B is equal to the probability of A. Because all ale is beer". (Lagers not included in the sample space)

I decided not to correct him, as to not look like a dork in front of the entire lecture.
“For clarification Professor, what’s on the beer list? Is there a percentage of light/dark and domestic/imported? Are local craft beers included with the larger, mass-produced beers? What about appetizers?”
 

Northern_Brewer

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Historically no ale was beer. Ale was made without hops - ie what we'd call gruit now - and beer was made with hops, so there was no intersection between the two. Nowadays, ale is considered a kind of beer - but most beer is lager, so again the probabilities do not coincide.
 

Mitch S

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me: only that the floating, foamy, brown and white things might gain sentience, turn into a monster which will eat your younglings
I need to remember this when my wife asks what that is when she sees my carboys in the pantry, mainly to justify my other expensive hobby (firearms)
 

NGD

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Historically no ale was beer. Ale was made without hops - ie what we'd call gruit now - and beer was made with hops, so there was no intersection between the two. Nowadays, ale is considered a kind of beer - but most beer is lager, so again the probabilities do not coincide.
Hey buddy, leave your interesting historical facts and abundance of brewing knowledge out if this fantasy....although I did not know that and find it fascinating.
 
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