Don't Do That.

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Making French Toast for our visiting 6 yo granddude’s breakfast and wondering why the grill is taking so long to heat up and realizing I didn’t look at the C°/F° symbol at the top of the IR thermometer display. Don’t do that.
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Growing your hop next to the terrace stairs where it can whip in your face... Don't do that
Or to close to your chicken coop where the feathery little pain in the asses my wife and kids just had to have can reach through the fence and peck at them and therefore destroy the hop bine. Will dig up and move for next season.

Don't do that.
 
I swear at least half my posts are in this thread.

Got a new kegerator and decided to salvage the Co2 tank and regulator from the old one that just died. Cut the gas line off from the regulator without confirming that I’d disconnected the keg first…..don’t do that. Showering in Belgian wit is not an experience I’d recommend.
 
Pressure transferring Star San through multiple size kegs and assumed 3.0 gallons plus 1.75 gallons < 5 gallons. Don't do that. Looking away briefly to quick wipe off the kegerator while the PRV was open...don't do that either!
 
When you hoist your grain bag, make sure the rope is tied down securely. Otherwise it might just come loose and splash into 25 litres of hot wort, making a massive mess of everything in sight. Don't do that.

Luckily I was brewing outside for the first time in forever.
It could have been a lot worse than a mess. You were really lucky.
 
After you transfer beer from the fermenter to the keg, don't forget to grab the Tilt out of the fermenter before you dump trub down the toilet.

I briefly thought I was going to be able to figure out the SG of my septic system, but Bluetooth isn't going to penetrate the concrete septic tank and several feet of dirt and gravel.
 
When you get kegs from someone that's been standing for a while, don't just assume the ball locks are still 100s. Then don't fill it with hot water and sodium percarbonate, give it a good shake to get nice and clean on the inside, let it stand for 3 hours and then connect a tap to clean the line and tap. Then when you're done, don't just pop off the disconnect, leaving the poppet stuck under the inside rim of the whole shebang, spraying slippery, soapy sodium percarbonate solution EVERYWHERE.

Don't do that.
 
don't take off your intertap faucet to run beer line cleaner and forget that there's a self-closing spring preloaded between the shank and the faucet that's going to sproing your shiny stainless tap right onto the concrete.

Don't do that.
 
Used a glass mason jar as a yeast collector on my FastFerment conical and tried to ferment a lager in it at 42F.. Didn't consider that the keezer temperature might be a lot colder on the bottom and the jar exploded when it froze, bathing my chest freezer in 5 gallons of delicious lager wort. Don't do that!
 
Forgot to close the fermenter valve .

Along the same lines, when you are taking your reflectix jacket off your kettle post mash, don't forget to be careful of the ball valve lever. Researched that one in my own lab.

Also, don't forget to take off the reflectix jacket before firing up for the boil. Reflectix is in fact flammable...
 
Along the same lines, when you are taking your reflectix jacket off your kettle post mash, don't forget to be careful of the ball valve lever. Researched that one in my own lab.

Also, don't forget to take off the reflectix jacket before firing up for the boil. Reflectix is in fact flammable...
I just love that I’m not the only one who does this stuff. I seriously think this thread has stopped me quitting the hobby on more than one occasion.
 
Temperature probe came off the keg and was left hanging outside the lagering refrigerator. Refrigerator kept running trying to get the probe cold..... At least I know my refrigerator can make things cold ... This one froze!

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I'm shocked that it didn't split the seams, was it full?

I have had nightmares about this.
 
Turned out fine. Maybe I should have made an ice beer. How cold does it have to get to freeze some 5% ABV lager? Beer is pretty durable stuff..!
A regular freezer will freeze most of the water in there. Leave the beer in there for 24 hours at least, and then continue. I've gotten a pretty nice ABV with freezing alcohol and removing the water from it (legal here).

Take note I am NOT condoning illegalities.
 
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Dry hops plugged 2" dump port on CF15. After trying to break the clog with a spoon to no avail, resorted to loading up 14 psi on top of the beer. Well, what wasn't working finally led to this explosion across a garage that's not typically this congested (in the process of building a nursery for our first). This led to quite a fun day of cleaning - there is good news... the beer is absolutely fine! In all seriousness, I'm very thankful I wasn't standing in front of the port, or this bad situation would've likely been muchhhh worse.
 
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Dry hops plugged 2" dump port on CF15. After trying to break the clog with a spoon to no avail, resorted to loading up 14 psi on top of the beer. Well, what wasn't working finally led to this explosion across a garage that's not typically this congested (in the process of building a nursery for our first). This led to quite a fun day of cleaning - there is good news... the beer is absolutely fine! In all seriousness, I'm very thankful I wasn't standing in front of the port, or this bad situation would've likely been muchhhh worse.
Also there's the added bonus that your firstborn might have the lovely scent of hops to help him/her go to sleep at night.
 
When, after 5 years into this hobby, you finally decide to get into locking down a decent pH for the mash, DON'T freak out when the mash pH is at 5.7 and add a full teaspoon of lactic acid; start with 1/4 and go from there. Mash pH now at 5.1. Also read more. It will be beer but it's probably pretty confused right now.
 
View attachment 739757

Dry hops plugged 2" dump port on CF15. After trying to break the clog with a spoon to no avail, resorted to loading up 14 psi on top of the beer. Well, what wasn't working finally led to this explosion across a garage that's not typically this congested (in the process of building a nursery for our first). This led to quite a fun day of cleaning - there is good news... the beer is absolutely fine! In all seriousness, I'm very thankful I wasn't standing in front of the port, or this bad situation would've likely been muchhhh worse.
And a good lesson about diaper changing for a father to be. :p


Yeah, seeing that will prepare you for some of the explosive decompressions that will be coming your way shortly! 😂
 
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