Don't Do That.

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brewbama said:
I used BeerSmith to calculate my lactic acid addition. Don’t do that. It basically called for double what Bru’n water called for in the same recipe.
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Haven't looked at version 3 yet, but the water calculator in BeerSmith is an embarrassment to an otherwise fantastic tool.
 
Put your Brett starter in your Sacc flask and vice versa while telling you wife about why you labelled them to make sure there would be no mixing....

Leave a starter in the stir plate overnight to wake up and find it got violent and the foam stopper is on the floor for an unknown amount of time.
 
Stay home because your feeling nauseous, start to feel a little better but you've already cancelled your morning so you decide to make vitality starters for your club brew tomorrow. All is well until you pop the cap on the swing top that you saved your yeast in and it goes Fn EVERYWHERE in your kitchen...walls, ceiling, cupboards, appliances, hallway, blinds, light fixtures...Fn EVERYWHERE. Now the kitchen is very clean which will be very suspicious to your lovely wife.

Don't do that
 
Decide to change your process, order a new part, and plan a brew day on a Sat based on the tracking info stating said part will be delivered that day. I prep'd everything and did some household chores while waiting and finally - at 2:00 the mail arrived! Yeah! Getting a late start but happy to try out the new process.

Open the box and...they shipped the wrong part!!

Don't plan a brew day unless you know you'll have everything on hand!!
 
Got up early this am and started getting ready for brewing. Collected strike water, cleaned the mashtun then pulled my bag of grain out... Not crushed!!!

Don't do that.

I actually had the grain bill ready to grind, just never took them to the LHBS to get them ground. Looks more likely that Santa will bring a mill to the home of Padre Del Gato66.
 
Got my grains ground for a steam beer I am making, and placed the double-bagged grist in a milk crate for easier carrying. Set it on my coffee table and woke up this am to find grain spilled on the table. Seems my kittens jumped on top to play on the noisy plastic bag and ripped a few holes in them.

Leaving your grains for cats to play upon them?? Don't do that!
 
catdaddy66 said:
Got my grains ground for a steam beer I am making, and placed the double-bagged grist in a milk crate for easier carrying. Set it on my coffee table and woke up this am to find grain spilled on the table. Seems my kittens jumped on top to play on the noisy plastic bag and ripped a few holes in them.

Leaving your grains for cats to play upon them?? Don't do that!
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Man, I can relate. I came home with a bag full of speciality grains and my daughter’s ill behaved dog was happy to see me, jumped up and ripped the bag!
 
Yeah... My cat gets in the grain bag all the time.....:(

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I have one of those Cool Brew fermentation coolers. It works great but the other day when I changed out the ice bottles I managed to bump the spigot on the fermenter. My daughter noticed the beer leaking out an hour later. The good news is there’s still 3 gallons left.

Don’t do that.
 
NJNewb said:
I have one of those Cool Brew fermentation coolers. It works great but the other day when I changed out the ice bottles I managed to bump the spigot on the fermenter. My daughter noticed the beer leaking out an hour later. The good news is there’s still 3 gallons left.

Don’t do that.
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Your daughter just won ice cream.
 
Have had a long string of good luck and good brews, so haven't posted here in a while...until today. Flash back to Saturday when I used the autosiphon to take a hydrometer sample of the Dank IPA I had going...pulled sample, pulled siphon out, and didn't notice the VERY important little red cap on the bottom had disappeared. Musta been beer involved.

Fast forward to Sunday, when upon taking a look at the now-crashing dank, what to my wondering eye did appear but that little cap floating on the surface of my beer. Oh well thought I, I'll just use the pump to keg.

And fast forward again to today, when said pump said eff you I don't wanna do that. Finally had to coax the capless autosiphon to work, after using manual vacuum (read: sucking on the hose) to try to get it going. Got less than 4.5 gallons in the keg, bag was left in the carboy, yeast was not saved, but that little red cap is now back where it belongs. Starsan and beery spit all over the garage floor as well.

And maybe the Karma god decided to smile on me...that IPA (with only two row as the grain bill, but a LOT of hops) is damn delicious with even no carb on it. Sweet with Crystal and Mosaic, with a nice bite from the Chinook and Cascade, all of which were used to dry hop it at 1.5oz each. First few pours are gonna have a lot of hop bits in it, and may have to pull the dip tube out to unclog, but looking forward to having a glass of this on Saturday.
 
Get ready to do a closed loop transfer from fermonster to pressurized keg, hook up from “out” keg post to spigot and turn the valve forgetting to connect “in” post on keg to “in” post on fermonster thus venting the keg into your fermenter!

Loop? I don’t need no stinking loop! [emoji12]

Hopefully all the crap will settle and compact in the next day or two so I can fight another day!!
 
Have two overbuilt starters going, one for me and one for a buddy. Brew both beers, rack to fermentors. Pitch 3/4 of the first (labeled) starter into the right fermentor, pour the remaining 1/4 into an unlabeled, sanitized mason jar. Do the same thing on the second fermentor. Now I have two unlabeled jars of yeast, one with Denny's Favorite 50, the other with Omega Belgian W.

Label your lids and your jars, friends.
 
Hit the bottle washer attached to the faucet accidentally while the faucet is on full and pointed at your face. It will knock your glasses askew.
Don't do that.
 
And yet ANOTHER beer-racked-into-Starsan post. Kegged up my IPL yesterday. The Dank IPA had just blown, so gave that keg a good rinse and dumped in 1/2 cup of starsan to swish around and dump before racking the beer into it. Yep, forgot ALL about it being in there and just racked into the keg. Didn't realize the starsan was still in there until about 1/2 the volume had gone into the keg. And this beer has the last of my Mosaic hops in it. Said to self, ah eff it, we'll see what happens.

Drinking on it now. Delicious beer with a slight peppery aftertaste (starsan maybe?) but not enough to put me off it. Forget to dump sanitizer, yeah don't do that, but it's not the end of the world (or the beer).
 
seatazzz said:
And yet ANOTHER beer-racked-into-Starsan post. Kegged up my IPL yesterday. The Dank IPA had just blown, so gave that keg a good rinse and dumped in 1/2 cup of starsan to swish around and dump before racking the beer into it. Yep, forgot ALL about it being in there and just racked into the keg. Didn't realize the starsan was still in there until about 1/2 the volume had gone into the keg. And this beer has the last of my Mosaic hops in it. Said to self, ah eff it, we'll see what happens.

Drinking on it now. Delicious beer with a slight peppery aftertaste (starsan maybe?) but not enough to put me off it. Forget to dump sanitizer, yeah don't do that, but it's not the end of the world (or the beer).
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Been there. Done that. It’ll be fine.
 
Use your pressure cooker as a second boil kettle and put the lid on in order to get it boiling faster, to discover that the release of pressure turns the kettle into a powerful fountain of boiling hot wort & steam.
Don't do that.
 
pshankstar said:
Hopefully no one ended up with severe burns!
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Fortunately not, it only resulted in a very sticky kitchen, which was surprisingly difficult to clean.

A brew partner did get burned the time when I was trying to remove a hop bag which was stuck in the ball valve with my brewing spoon at the end of a boil, using too much force which led to the bag and wort landing on his face. Don't do that either.
 
1. add hot boiling wort into a plastic Carboy........ Don't do that.

2. Add boiling hot wort to a glass carboy and try to cool it by spraying it with cold water. Don't do that.
 
seatazzz said:
And yet ANOTHER beer-racked-into-Starsan post. Kegged up my IPL yesterday. The Dank IPA had just blown, so gave that keg a good rinse and dumped in 1/2 cup of starsan to swish around and dump before racking the beer into it. Yep, forgot ALL about it being in there and just racked into the keg. Didn't realize the starsan was still in there until about 1/2 the volume had gone into the keg. And this beer has the last of my Mosaic hops in it. Said to self, ah eff it, we'll see what happens.

Drinking on it now. Delicious beer with a slight peppery aftertaste (starsan maybe?) but not enough to put me off it. Forget to dump sanitizer, yeah don't do that, but it's not the end of the world (or the beer).
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Be careful. I've accidentally cold-crash-suck-backed starsan into a carboy. They dont mix very well. Your last few points may be pure starsan.
 
Transfer 5 gallons of cooled wort into your sanitized fermenter when you've forgotten to drain the 1 - 2 gallons of Starsan from that fermenter…..Don't do that!

And then think you can still salvage that wort and ferment it and that it might still be drinkable...

And then attempt to aerate it with an air pump and stone, only to fight off the foam poring out of the top of the fermenter for an hour, while looking like an episode of I love Lucy....

and then still think that you might as well pitch the yeast since you made the starter....

and ferment for 2 weeks, keg it, and spend the next few days tasting it again and again while trying to convince yourself its drinkable... Don't do that!
 
flatrockbeer said:
Transfer 5 gallons of cooled wort into your sanitized fermenter when you've forgotten to drain the 1 - 2 gallons of Starsan from that fermenter…..Don't do that!

And then think you can still salvage that wort and ferment it and that it might still be drinkable...

And then attempt to aerate it with an air pump and stone, only to fight off the foam poring out of the top of the fermenter for an hour, while looking like an episode of I love Lucy....

and then still think that you might as well pitch the yeast since you made the starter....

and ferment for 2 weeks, keg it, and spend the next few days tasting it again and again while trying to convince yourself its drinkable... Don't do that!
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Ooh no!!! That is easily one of the "better" stories I've read on this. Here I was worrying about the little cap full of Starsan that got sucked into the fermenter out of the airlock when I lifted my plastic fermenter by the handle! I'm never going to look at Starsan the same way again.
 
Brew day last sunday with the wort going into a corny to ferment. That went into the fermentation chamber with a heat belt, temperature probe and blow off tube. "Well that was easy", I thought. When I got home from work the next I checked on the beer and no bubbles...nothing. I flip through sunday in my head and then remembered I forgot to take the poppet out of the gas post. "Oh my, there must be a ton of pressure" so I pull the relief pin and BOOM! Foam all over everything within 10 feet. Don't do that!

P.S. The yeast were just fine and it's fermenting away. :)

Or another time I connected the blow off tube to the liquid out post of the corny. Checked on it the next day and the water jug was full of wort and star san. Don't do that, too!

This past summer there were a handful of 90+ degree brew days which meant it was 100+ in the garage. Screw this, I'm wearing shorts. Then I back into the very recently turned off propane burner, burning a decent sized square into the back of my leg. Don't do that! All fine plus a bad assed scar on my leg but I'm never wearing shorts to brew again.
 

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