Don't Do That.

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Get grains for a recipe... decide to round up to the nearest lb on every grain. Put them in the same bag. Don’t do that.
 
seatazzz said:
Decide to brew two batches in one weekend, and not check the weather forecast. Figured they would both be okay in swamp coolers with a fan trained on them. Got up over 80 that week. Then decide that your lager isn't taking off fast enough and add more slurry. Two REALLY nasty carboys later, as well as airlocks landing upwards of six feet from said carboys from super vigorous fermentations, and some nasty acetaldehyde going on, has me planning on turning my spare bedroom into a fermentation room with an ac unit and my temp controller from the kegerator. Yeah, don't do that. Both of them are salvageable but not what I was planning on.
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This is how the wife approved the constriction of my brewshed! Had a winter ale that clogged the airlock and turned my carboy into a violent volcano in my swamp cooler in the back hall closet on Thanksgiving day. Ruined everything, had to repaint the closet and replace the carpet in the closet.
Lost 2 gallons of that batch but the remaining 3 turned out great!
Good times.
:)
 
kh54s10 said:
Why not? Unless something really strong and you only intended to use something like .25 lb.
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Once, my recipe called for 1.17 of one type of grain and 1.9 of another and down the list. I just got 2 lbs of everything... accidentally put it all in the same bag. Threw the balance of the beer all off. It was OK... just not what I intended to make.
 
HornyGoatStout said:
Once, my recipe called for 1.17 of one type of grain and 1.9 of another and down the list. I just got 2 lbs of everything... accidentally put it all in the same bag. Threw the balance of the beer all off. It was OK... just not what I intended to make.
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I've done that too. Beer turned out WAY too roasty for what I was going for. Didn't realize it until the day after I bought it and went to mill the grains.
 
schematix said:
I ordered $2500 worth of equipment without telling my wife (in fairness i tried to tell her). It was delivered and set up this week while she was out of town.

If you don't hear from me ever again, don't do that.
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I'm just glad you got to it before the porch pirates did! I would never have anything delivered to my house.
 
62252615-326A-433B-9485-CAF15BE3C03B.jpeg

When preparing to do an under pressure transfer to the keg, open the bottom port instead of racking port. Don’t do that.
 
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schematix said:
I don’t live in the hood or near mass transit so we’re pretty good.

So she saw it... I’m still alive. I guess the real test comes later on tonight...
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Don't kid yourself, porch pirates know very well that pickins' are richer in the better neighborhoods. They're brazen and dishonest, not stupid.
 
I typically store my keggles upside down in my basement with the various sundry equipment stacked on top. Today I couldn't find my recirculation silicone hose that hooks up to my auto sparge. No problem I just cut another one and went on with my brew day. I usually forget or lose something every brew day so this was nothing to worry about. (Foreshadowing!…)

While heating up my strike water I went to measure hops and water additions. I came back to my mash tun having some strange white stuff on its side bottom skirt. Strange. I still thought not a lot about it.

Cut forward to mash out. I'm heating to 168f and I notice fire coming up around my mash tun. Definitely not normal.

Guess what! I found my missing hose



Don't do that!
 
had my brew kettle on the floor to gravity drain my mash tun, then lifted it onto the burner to begin the boil. within 30 seconds of being on the burner, thick black smoke starts billowing out from under the kettle :eek:

seems that the pot holder I had the kettle resting on when it sat on the floor (protecting the vinyl flooring from getting too hot) had stuck to the bottom of the kettle and was ignited by the burner flames.

don't do that!


did manage to get the kettle off the burner, the pot holder off the kettle and tossed outside where it was raining, and the kitchen aired out before the smoke detector went off (summoning the local FD)

do do this if you first do the don't do prior!
 
Blithely throw 5oz of pellet hops (no bag) into the new lager and expect no clogging issues upon chilling. Yeah, don't do that. Filter for the pump was clogged in less than 5 seconds and I HOPE I got all of the gunk out of the plate chiller....
 
Not paying attention and pour some of the yeast in the bottom of the bottle into your glass and proceed to drink said yeast. Woke up this morning and ripped a huge one that the kids swear they smelled in the other room. Don't do that, unless you want some alone time, lol
 
jaybo said:
Not paying attention and pour some of the yeast in the bottom of the bottle into your glass and proceed to drink said yeast. Woke up this morning and ripped a huge one that the kids swear they smelled in the other room. Don't do that, unless you want some alone time, lol
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Nothin wrong with some probiotics and a healthy gut...
 
jaybo said:
Not paying attention and pour some of the yeast in the bottom of the bottle into your glass and proceed to drink said yeast.
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It's quite the thing in parts of Belgium - the likes of de Koninck produce branded shot glasses specifically for drinking the dregs.
 
jaybo said:
Not paying attention and pour some of the yeast in the bottom of the bottle into your glass and proceed to drink said yeast. Woke up this morning and ripped a huge one that the kids swear they smelled in the other room. Don't do that, unless you want some alone time, lol
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Are you kidding me! I’m going down to open a few bottles of my hefe and planning to run around the house all night playing “pull my finger”. [emoji1]
 
jaybo said:
Not paying attention and pour some of the yeast in the bottom of the bottle into your glass and proceed to drink said yeast. Woke up this morning and ripped a huge one that the kids swear they smelled in the other room. Don't do that, unless you want some alone time, lol
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I ripped a beer fart at work that had my coworkers calling the janitor to try and find the source of the horrible smell in the break room.
 
Here's one with a happy ending. Kegged a warm fermented (maybe a bit TOO warm) lager last week that had sat in the garage too long due to water leak in the yard. Tasted "funny" upon kegging, but I had nothing better to do so went ahead. Didn't have high hopes for it, but with a good APA on tap and two new beers in the new fermentation fridge I figured, ah just leave it and see what happens. Probably gonna end up dumping it.

Tapped it today. Grain bill was straight two row, bittered with Warrior and some late Columbus/Amarillo additions. Fermented on harvested 34/70. Flavor is dense, has a slight ester-y tang (not acetaldehyde, more like a fresh strawberry flavor) that should fade, but it's eminently drinkable and very refreshing on a muggy day after doing some work in the garage.

Moral of the story - DON'T give up until the bitter (pun intended) end. You very well may be pleasantly surprised.
 
So the wife decided to save a couple of bucks by buying discount garbage bags. After mashing I dump my grains which were 10 pounds before soaking into said bag. I was brewing in the back yard and my garbage can is just over the fence in the front. So I walk up to my gate which we keep padlocked so the dogs don’t escape and realize I forgot the key. I look at the aforementioned discount garbage bag full of hot, wet grain and say myself “I’ll just swing it over the fence and go through the house to the front yard and put it in the can”....Don’t do that. Anyone have a good method of picking 10 pounds of grain out of grass ?
 
Follow up question, what about a method of discouraging the swarm of flies that apparently think my grain is delicious? My wife is eventually going to walk around the shed and see this at which point I’m going to have to enter the witness protection program.
 
NJNewb said:
So the wife decided to save a couple of bucks by buying discount garbage bags. After mashing I dump my grains which were 10 pounds before soaking into said bag. I was brewing in the back yard and my garbage can is just over the fence in the front. So I walk up to my gate which we keep padlocked so the dogs don’t escape and realize I forgot the key. I look at the aforementioned discount garbage bag full of hot, wet grain and say myself “I’ll just swing it over the fence and go through the house to the front yard and put it in the can”....Don’t do that. Anyone have a good method of picking 10 pounds of grain out of grass ?
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If there were no hops in the mash, scoop it up some and then let the dogs eat the rest. [emoji6] Whenever I’m done with the mash, I’ll take a couple of spoonfuls and put it out on the driveway and my dogs eat it right up. I think now they kind of expect it when I’m brewing.
 
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pshankstar said:
If there were no hops in the mash, scoop it up some and then let the dogs eat the rest. [emoji6] Whenever I’m done with the mash, I’ll take a couple of spoonfuls and put it out on the driveway and my dogs eat it right up. I think now they kind of expect it when I’m brewing.
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Any kernel of grain that falls out of my mill my lab devours before it hits the ground. She usually gets some cooled mash grains as well.
 
Starting thinking about moving to all grain and messing with my water profiles. So I added 3 grams of Gypsum and 3 grams of CaCl to my final extract batch, basically double salting it, as the extract contains salts from the manufacturer's mashing process. I didn't know this. Tasted like I dropped an Easter ham into the keg...don't do that...
 
I used BeerSmith to calculate my lactic acid addition. Don’t do that. It basically called for double what Bru’n water called for in the same recipe.
 
NJNewb said:
So the wife decided to save a couple of bucks by buying discount garbage bags. After mashing I dump my grains which were 10 pounds before soaking into said bag. I was brewing in the back yard and my garbage can is just over the fence in the front. So I walk up to my gate which we keep padlocked so the dogs don’t escape and realize I forgot the key. I look at the aforementioned discount garbage bag full of hot, wet grain and say myself “I’ll just swing it over the fence and go through the house to the front yard and put it in the can”....Don’t do that. Anyone have a good method of picking 10 pounds of grain out of grass ?
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Your dogs will probably eat them, mine love the grain from brewday. You could also rake them around they are usually not noticed the next day
 
Drop the mason jar of yeast you're about to pitch. I guess I'm brewing something else... Lucky for me I had some other varieties in the fridge. So in with the Irish Ale! Feel like I should brew something new now. Maybe some sort of kitchen sink to use up some hops. Although I'm sure I could brew the bitter without changing it too much.

My biggest disappointment is losing West Yorkshire for awhile.
 
Not me, but I read about a guy who hooked up a pump backwards and pumped sewage into his brew pot.

Don't do that.

I think he also made a batch of beer using donuts with a recipe he got from Kato Kaelin. But I was drinking while reading his posts, so I may be a bit fuzzy on the details.

If I remember correctly, it smells weird.
 
So I've been brewing for 2+ years now. Learned a lot from my mistakes, and I can make some damn good beer. But I still have some moments...as in, last weekend brewing the House IPA (with lots of Mosaic), dumped the yeast in the fermenter before starting the chiller. Which due to the warmth of the day, and issues with connections, got the wort down to about 85. Figured hey, what the hell, it's going in the new fermentation fridge, that will take care of it. Oh no. Horrible phenolic off flavor and there goes my beautiful Mosaic hops. Because OF COURSE I already added the dry hops, because the phenolic taste didn't appear until AFTER I did it. Yeah, don't do that. Brewing up an emergency batch today to replace it. Still going to let it ride to see what a cold crash might do to get the nasty yeasties out of suspension, but I'm betting it's a dumper.
 
NJNewb said:
Anyone have a good method of picking 10 pounds of grain out of grass ?
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Hose with tight nozzle on full blast....

I used to dump my grain off my deck at my old house (~12 feet to the ground from deck level)...from that height, would use the sprayer to rinse and disperse the grains out into the back yard. That was on a little of a slope, but I think if you were standing next to the mess, you should be able to rinse it past your fence....
 

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